


Natural Ability

by NorthernBelle



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Growth, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2018-03-15 18:29:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 66,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3457361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorthernBelle/pseuds/NorthernBelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some people can be taught to do things. Others' are just naturals. Being a mother was something that came naturally to Violet. She had the natural ability of caring for her son Oliver and taking charge of situations. Becoming a mother had been the happy-ending to a tragedy. Now five years later, she steps up to help a new friend as he goes though a trying time. A situation which could have broken anyone was able to be turned around into a learning experience, taking a scared man and showing him his own natural abilities.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who We Are

**Author's Note:**

> They said the fight would break us  
> But the struggle helped to make  
> Who we are

A two-thirty-PM practice for the elementary age kids should be nothing. For some of the moms it wasn't even that bad. The kids were let out of school, and we carted them right over to practice. Their coach was a local Phys. Ed. teacher Charlie Moore so the time really was the best.

Today would be a treat though. Another teacher Kevin Dunlap, helped coach the young kids, and I had known him since we were five. Kevin let it slip that a few players from the Pens would be working with the kids today. Kevin has a nine year old, Connor, who plays on the midget minor team, which now houses my son as well. Oliver was two weeks shy of his fifth birthday. Which was also four days after my own on March twenty-third.

Plans had already been made for his party the weekend after the twenty-seventh. He demanded on having a skating party with all the boys from his team and his preschool class. The reason I say demand is, because ever since I had allowed my friend Kevin to talk me into trying Oliver out for the hockey team, hockey and skating has been all Olly could talk about.

Instead of the Mommy and Me classes the other moms take their toddlers to, I opted for taking my son ice skating. He was an early walker at nine-months, so once he mastered walking and running, skates were added to the mix. I was a figure skater as a child into my teen years. It was something I enjoyed. And when Oliver started paying attention to the hockey games our families would watch and even attend, he had gushed over how cool skating looked. So we joined a children's beginning class and the rest is almost history.

Well, except for how my little boy, my sweet little man, got added to the under ten minor team. There weren't enough kids who wanted to play in the mite level. With only five kids in the four-six age range in our district, they practiced and scrimmaged their older teammates who were mostly six to eight, Connor was the oldest at nine. To get Oliver started, Kevin and Coach Charlie recommended putting him in one of the Little Penguin training camps to learn to play. For a hundred and seventy dollars they would learn the basics and were also provided brand new Reebok equipment. We didn't have to worry about a thing except sizing and picking them up at Dick's Sporting Goods.

Back to the surprise. So today as part of the Pens Drop In program, coaches and players will be dropping in to offer help and clinics for our little players and coaches. The kids were running drills, rushing the nets and three-on-three puck battles. A few of the parents were milling around on their phones as I just watched as Olly made a few good rushes in a row, scoring once on the older goalie. I loved watching hockey, but the finesse behind play was still new to me.

"Vi, put your skates on, we got a stopping problem," Kevin called over the glass. It happened anytime one of the new kids starting out on skates had a problem. I was glad my choice of leggings and an oversized sweater would keep me from getting chilled as I worked with the six year old Mark on his skating. He'd been skating for about eight months now, and every once in a while he would forget what he was doing.

A few of the parents had offered to pay me to work with their sons, to which I refused, offering to work with them for free. I didn't need the money. Most people saw a single mom and assumed I had a tough life. It was the opposite. I grew up in a wealthy, coal family. My great-great-grandfather had founded a company, which my father and his cousin led now and we would never go hungry. Along with the trust and monies provided by Olly's paternal grandparents, I was able to put off going to work for one of the family businesses and raise my son. Both sets of grandparents helped on making life easy for everyone after I found out I was pregnant. It was both a sad day, and a very heartwarming day. I just wished his father was here to see his son.

✦✦✦✦

My fiancé Ezra Mellon, of the Pittsburgh Mellon's, worked for his family's investments. We had met at an event at the Andy Warhol Museum while we were both home for the holidays from college in 2006 My family had just moved to the Pittsburgh area after many years in West Virginia and it was my first foray into the Pittsburgh social scene. Ezra was at University of Pennsylvania in the Wharton School of Business in Philly and I was working towards my JD at Columbia in NYC. For a little over a year and a half, we would take turns riding the train to visit each other twice a month. He had completed his MBA by the time, and I had one year left at Columbia before graduating and taking the bar. The summer of 2008 was magical. We both spent the summer relaxing and traveling before he started working for the family businesses. It was on our travels in Greece where Ezra asked me to marry him. And when I floated back into classes three weeks later with a four carat diamond on my finger, I couldn't wait for Ezra's next trip to visit. I missed him like crazy and couldn't wait to start planning our future together.

All of that was cut short when the Cessna jet Ezra was flying on to one of the business locations went down over the mountains in heavy fog. We had just gotten engaged, hadn't even set a date, and now I was planning a funeral with his parents Evelyn and Richard, and brother Jack.

I had been moping around my apartment, making my appearance in classes, when I swore I had caught a bug on the subway or on my flight back from Pittsburgh. My best friends- and favorite couple ever- Grace and Carter brought me over soup, crackers, and ginger ale to help mend my broken heart and upset stomach. As we all lounged around watching trash TV, I started to feel better. Chinese food was ordered and as soon as it arrived, I hauled ass to the bathroom to be sick. The smell I normally cherished had made my stomach turn so fast, I wasn't sure what had hit me.

"I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but I think we need to go get a pregnancy test," Grace told me with a solemn face.

My fiancé was gone and I was pregnant. I cried for a week straight, missing classes, and ignoring calls from both the Mellon family and my own.

The next weekend I rode the train to Pittsburgh to tell our parents. It was over an eight hour ride, but with no car of my own it was the only option short notice when I wouldn't step foot on a plane again for two more years. The five of us had dinner at the Mellon house and I told them the news. Evelyn cried; big boohoos into her linen napkin. Richard got up and went into his study, returning with a crystal whiskey decanter full of 18 year old Glenfiddich single-malt Scotch and four glasses. After Evelyn had calmed down, she reached for her husband's hand and gave him a nod.

For the second time Richard got up from the table and rejoined us with a brown accordion folder. He handed it to me and told me to open it. Inside was a copy of Ezra's will, two sets of car keys, bank ledgers with both his and my name listed at the top, and a copy of a bill of sale on a house. Richard went on to tell me that Ezra had left everything to me. His cars, money, stock shares, and a home he had closed on at the beginning of the month in Sewickley Heights.

I had been numb as I sat in the plush leather seats of Ezra's Mercedes CL65 AMG, driving out to the home he had purchased for us. I never understood why he needed the V-12 engine over the slightly smaller CL63 model. But as I sat behind the wheel and felt the power at my fingertips, I had to chuckle a little and whisper my new understanding.

The McMansion he had purchased for us was different from my parents Sewickley Heights estate and the contemporary monster the Mellon's lived in atop Mt. Washington. The location close to my parents could not be the only reason he chose it. It looked like a farm house. It was stunning and I couldn’t believe he had purchased the home without telling me. After I had pulled into the two-car detached garage under the in-law's apartment, I noticed a brand new Mercedes SUV sitting in the garage. No doubt the other sets of keys belonged to it.

As I made my way through the rooms, I could see he had already met with someone to begin remodeling certain things. Some of the lighting wasn’t how he or I would like it, and photos of the choices were taped to the wall beside open junction boxes.

And that is how I, Violet Grier Boyle became mother to Oliver Tate Mellon.

✦✦✦✦

A few of the younger boys came over to watch me work with Mark and the group got the attention of Kevin and Coach Charlie. “Probably needs some help working with skating while puck handling too,” Coach Charlie told me, skating over to hand me a stick.

“I don’t know anything about puck handling. I’ve never played a day in my life,” I told him, holding the stick awkwardly.

"They all need help with skating with the puck. Doesn't matter how well they do it, they just need to take the puck with them while they skate. Just practice that and passing while skating with them. We're going to work on shooting with the others until our guests arrive," Coach Charlie told me.

As I skated with the four boys, I could understand why they were having trouble. I am an adult of twenty-seven years and I lost the puck a few times as we skated around one end of the rink. When I came up behind two of the boys, a whistle and yell from the other end followed by a few gasps of surprise caused the two to turn quickly and both of their sticks came up and hit me in the shins. I reached down dropping my stick to grab the stinging skin and bones. Kevin's laugh echoed down the ice as my face contorted in pain.

Coach Charlie was shaking hands with two of the Pens coaches while a few of the older boys crowded around five of the professional players. They were all dressed in track warmups with the skating Penguin logo emblazoned on their thigh and breast pocket. When I finally made it over to where Kevin was standing, I thrust the stick at him and shoved him for laughing at my pain.

"Hello, Dan Bylsma," the head coach introduced himself to Kevin, shaking his hand firmly before turning to me. "And you are?"

"Oh, Violet Boyle, parent-slash-part time skating instructor. And just leaving. Nice to meet you Coach," I told him quickly as an assistant coach and two players glided over.

"Actually, Violet stay out here. I'm sure the coaches and players could help you understand how to help the boys handle the puck while skating more," Coach Charlie interjected. To say I looked like a deer in the headlights would be an insult to deer, who handled themselves more gracefully. Kevin snorted a laugh before handing the stick back to me with a shove.

I was not dressed to be on the ice this long and my amateur figure skating background was nothing compared to the likes of the pro players, currently shaking hands with Charlie and Kevin.  
Oliver noticed I was still on the ice and skated over excitedly. He was dressed in his Little Penguins sweater he got a month ago at the camp. His eyes were wide under his caged face mask. He slammed into me pushing us a few feet back, still working on stopping. "Mommy, did you see who it is?" he asked in a squeaky little voice. "It's Cros-bee, Malkin, Neal, Lee-tang, Martin, and Flower," he continued before I could answer in his twangy, almost-five year old speak. He tried so hard to say the names correctly, but with Fleury we had to stick with his nickname.

"I see sweetie, but you have to pay attention to them because they are going to teach you a few things. Ok?" I asked, bending over at the waist to talk more on his level.

"I wanna be just like them some day," Olly stated dreamily as he gazed over in their direction. A stick tapping me on the rear caused my attention to snap to the offender.

"Stand up would you. That thing is distracting the help," Kevin teased me about my behind, motioning with his eyes to the group of men chatting four meters away. I rolled my eyes and stood up completely with Olly still clinging to me.

"Mommy, why you have a stick?" he asked, gripping the hem of my sweater in his gloved hand.

"It's 'why do you have a stick'," I corrected him. We are currently working on his language arts in preparation for the three entrance tests he would be taking to gain acceptance to one of three elite private schools. I had attended Sacred Heart Elementary in Charleston, West Virginia when we lived there before going to Charleston Catholic and then The Linsly School -a boarding school- in Wheeling just an hour away from Pittsburgh in the Northern Panhandle. It was both sets of grandparents wishes that Olly would follow Ezra or my footsteps towards scholastic excellence. Mostly an Ivy League university.

"Why do you have a hockey stick, Mommy?" he asked again full of the sass my own mother claimed he inherited from me.

After quickly explaining, Coach Charlie called for attention and the young players took a knee at center ice. Everyone of the Penguins organization members introduced themselves and told the boys what would be going on today. I couldn't help but laugh at the excitement and starstruck "cool"s emitted from them.

"Ok, where are my Centers?" Dan asked, watching as the hands raised. "Ok, you are going with Sid and Geno. Violet, go watch them. They are two of the bed hands in the game. They'll help you understand how to teach puck control," he told me, my heart stopped beating for a second as he singled me out. "Take the four you were working with as well."

Now, I have rubbed elbows with some of East Coast's finest, richest, and most famous families, but the thought of being paired up with two of the best hockey players in the world to "coach" the boys was something I wasn't sure I was ready to do. Senators, Fortune 500 CEOs had nothing on the toned physiques of hockey players.

I followed the group of boys, Olly and Connor included, to the east end goal. Both players took the time to shake hands with the seven boys before James Neal skated nearby with the Wingers. "Violet, correct?" Sidney Crosby asked, now standing in front of me with his hand stuck out waiting to shake my hand.

"Um, uh, yeah Violet. Nice to meet you Sidney," I fumbled, switching the stick from my right to left hand and losing grip. The stick made it halfway to the ice before a towering Evgeni Malkin snatched it up in his bear claw of a hand. I could feel a blush burning my face, ears and neck and I met their smiling faces again. Quickly, I shook Sidney's hand as my embarrassment settled on the ice.

"Your hands are freezing. Do you need gloves?" he quickly asked, looking over towards a bag of gear their equipment guy had set down in the away bench. "Hey Dana you have any extra gloves?" he shouted across the ice to receive a nod, skating off before I could get a word in edgewise.

"Hello, Evgeni, you can call me Geno," the towering figure announced, tucking his right glove under his left arm to pull his hand free while he still gripped both of our sticks in his left.  
"Pleasure to meet you Geno. I'm Violet," I told him, catching Kevin standing to my right watching with an amused look set loosely on his features.

"Sid right. Hands are very cold," he smiled, handing the loaner stick back to me.

"Here, you can wear theses. They'll be big, but they will keep your fingers warm," Sidney announced as he stopped in front of me. He tucked his stick close to his left armpit and held out each glove for me to slip my hands into before giving me a grin and a nod. I mumbled a 'thank you' as he skated over to explain a drill the Centers would complete while the four others -a mixture of Blue Liners and Wingers- worked with Geno. I hung out a few feet away watching both men teaching the kids.

I watched as Sidney instructed Olly on how to dribble the puck effectively past a defender. It was cute to watched grown men, manly men who were obviously the best at what they did, dumb down their talents to teach kids.

It wasn't until the men decided to teach me something, that I got slightly uncomfortable. Geno stepped up to adjust my body posture and hands on the foreign stick. He and Sidney both had done so, their hard bodies brushing against mine. I knew they meant nothing by it, but it didn't change the fact that my body reacted.

I could feel the blush burning my neck and cheeks again. They had me working the puck around two orange cones while the boys practiced passing the puck in a moving triangle.  
"Not bad for beginner," Geno teased with a goofy grin that was his own.

"Momma, are you going to play on a team too?" Olly asked with his big, steel-blue eyes spilling with excitement.

"No Ol, momma's just learning so she can teach the others better," I told him with a chuckle. The look on Sidney and Geno's faces was one of controlled shock when Olly called out to me.

"He's cute kid," Geno spoke up, nodding as his lips moved.

"He is. Gets it from his father," I replied, a pained smile pulling my lips straight. "Thank you."

"You started him young. Don't see that often in the States," Sidney commented, looking away from the boys and their drill.

"I did a little figure skating as a kid, so I wanted to pass on skating to him. But as soon as he started to understand hockey a little and cheering on you guys, he was dead set on it," I explained, watching my son steal the puck from one of the six year old centers. "I can't say 'no' to him."

"How does his dad like it? Is he just as excited? My dad couldn't contain himself when I picked up a stick," Sidney blurted with a smile so big his eyes became slits.

"His dad passed away before he was born. He was the product of engagement celebration. Found out a week after he passed that I was pregnant," I told them grimly, not searching for sympathy. I had received enough sympathy over the last five and a half years. It was just easier to get it out there so no questions loomed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried," Sidney stated quickly to cover up his embarrassment.

"It's really ok. You couldn't have known. There's no way you could read 'fiancé killed in a plane crash' on my forehead, because it isn't there," I brushed it off with a shrug.

"Plane crash? Like commercial flight?" Geno asked before Coaches Dan and Charlie blew their whistles.

"No, it was a private Cessna jet," I replied after the coaches called everyone in to start a scrimmage.

I spent the rest of practice listening to the professionals coach a half-ice scrimmage. Sidney tried to help me understand certain aspects of the play. I was very happy to take my skates off as the boys shuffled and pushed their ways off the ice. The rest of the parents either fanned over the NHL players or they kept punching away at their phones. The consensus between most of the other mothers was that I was below them because I didn’t have to struggle to manage a household. The fact I came from money while most of them married men who make six-figures was looked down upon once they found out who I was. None of them worked either. They didn’t invite us over for play dates. Oliver was left out of sleepovers and birthday parties. I hated that jealousy and snobby attitudes kept him from having many friends. Of course there was Connor, Kevin, and Kevin’s wife Stacy.

“Mom, Uncle Kev told me to ask if we could go get food with them,” my little man ran out of the locker room half undressed wearing his base layer shirt, pants, leg pads, and socks. His blonde hair was sticking up in a million directions and he smelled terrible.

“I don’t know you need a shower pronto,” I reasoned, holding him away from my chair. “Find out when and where they are going, and we may be able to go.”

“Oh that’s easy,” I heard from our left. Sidney, Geno, and a few others stood now in tennis shoes. “We are going to Primanti’s on the other side of the airport. You guys are coming right?” Sidney asked, walking over to further ruffle Olly’s crazy hair.

“We are, right mom? Please, please, please, please,” he bounced, looking back and forth between me and the players.

“Fine Stink, but you are showering as soon as we get home, no video games, no cartoons, straight to the shower,” I compromised, watching him nodded agreement before running back into the locker room. “You guys play dirty. I’m not sure I need my son learning that kind of game at such a young age,” I laughed, standing up so that they didn’t look down on me when speaking to me.

“That’s not as dirty as we can get,” James spouted off, obviously not meaning to speak the thought. His cheeks flamed pink when his brain caught up with his mouth. Geno shoved him, then shook his head to apologize for his dumb teammate. I was still in shock of the comment when Kevin exited the locker room, pulling a box of t-shirts with the Aviators logo on it. He handed me a list and started pulling sizes into piles to divvy out as the boys left. I rambled off Connor and Olly’s sizes and he sat them in the seat between us.

The players stood to one side signing a few things for each of the boys, while we worked as a pair. Olly came out of the room tugging his bag behind him, shoestrings untied and getting stepped on and stuck under the large bag. He came to rest a few feet away and worked on his tying skills. We had started the process a few weeks ago, but his progress was slow. My little independent boy wanted to learn to do things for himself so badly. Until Geno kneeled down and helped him. At that moment, he looked up at the Russian hockey player with stars in his eyes. I was going to be hearing about Geno for days, weeks, heck months to come.


	2. People Let Me Tell Ya 'Bout My Best Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People let me tell you about my best friend  
> He's a warm-hearted person who'll love me to the end  
> People let me tell you about my best friend  
> He's a one boy cuddly toy my up my down my pride and joy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for how short this chapter is. It is the shortest in the entire story.

One dinner turned into another. And then lunch and another dinner or three when they were in town. At Primanti’s it was nice to see superstars act like normal guys. You know, with the ever present hoard of fans and autograph seekers. Ten people came up to the guys at our first dinner alone. Seeing how they interacted with fans of all ages was interesting, to say the least. Our waitress and a few other females made passes at all of the guys, regardless of relationship status. When the fluttering eyelashes didn’t work on Sidney, the girls moved on to Geno, Paul, and James. Geno brushed them off just as his Captain had, but Paul and James both took the slips of paper placed in their hands.

All they had to do was be hockey players to get numbers. James was attractive, but he wasn’t that attractive. He wasn’t near the level of hot it would take for me to just hand out my number or drop my panties. Same for Paul. Sidney was very attractive and it still wasn’t enough. Tree trunk thighs and ghetto booty be damned. Geno’s personality helped make him that much more attractive, but you had to talk to him rather than just slip him a number.

The things they spoke loud enough for me to hear, but the boys not to as they both joked around with Geno, made me cringe. “She looked like she’d be a good time,” Paul had told James, raising his brows. “Maybe get a few good nights out of her,” James had replied, flipping the slip of receipt with a number and red lipstick kiss. These were the guys feminists loved to hate.

They typically acted the same every time we were together around women. They were sports stars, super stars in this city.

For three weeks, the hockey players have been a constant in mine and Oliver's life. Olly was always talking about Geno and the guys, much like I assumed he would. It was odd, they were always around or texting. When Geno realized we lived within a mile of each other, a few players always showed up on off days. After going out on my birthday with an injury, he came over to the house or had us over to watch the game in his theater room.

Geno had taken to Olly and loved to have Olly read books to him. Sidney had stated it went back to when Geno was new to the States and knew no English at all. Something about a child innocently correcting his grammar and words made it easier for Geno to accept it without feeling judged. The two were like two peas in a pod. On Olly’s birthday before the game that night, Geno had surprised him with a Stadium Series jersey embellished with ‘Malkin’ on the back. The friendship was truly adorable.

On Tuesday, the off-day before one of their last regular season games, my phone rang asking if Olly and I wanted to join the guys for lunch. Olly needed to work on his vocabulary and we had flash cards scattered on the island in the kitchen. I had made the mistake of answering Geno’s call on speaker. When he heard Geno say meet up for lunch, Olly quickly answered for the two of us.

“Will you guys come to my game tonight?” Olly asked, stuffing fries into his mouth. We had met the guys at a diner on the South Side. He saddled up beside Geno, wanting the exact same burger and fries the Russian ordered.

“Olly,” I chastised for his question, and how he had asked it. “We do not talk with our mouths full or chew with them open. No matter who else does it,” I stated, looking pointedly at the Pens captain beside me. “And they are busy. We discussed this.”

“I can be there,” Sidney said, elbowing me for the rib. “What rink?”

“The Ice Castle,” Olly grinned, burger shining through his teeth.

“Hey, just because one of them said they would go, doesn’t mean you can ignore manners,” I called my son out again. “You will not talk with food in your mouth or you will have a privilege taken away.”

“Listen to mama,” Geno told him, ruffling his dirty blonde hair. “I go too. Ride with you guys?” I nodded, watching Oliver look around to the other guys. James, Brandon Sutter, and Paul just shrugged nodding that they would go to the game.

“Mommy, I need to potty,” Oliver announced, wiping his hands and mouth with his napkin. I looked to Sidney to let me out of the booth, but Olly stopped me. “I don’t want you to take me. I don’t want to go in the girls’ room,” he said with exaggerated disgust.

“I’ll take him. Kinda need to go myself,” James offered, standing from his chair. When Oliver was out of hearing range, I looked back to the table.

“You guys really don’t have to come to his game. He probably won’t even play. The Predators actually have a mite team, so the older boys will get the ice time. Unless they invite the mite team to come and scrimmage,” I told them. “Plus, Oliver is really getting used to you guys being around,” I told Geno and Sid mostly. “He’s gonna be upset when you all leave after the season.”

“We Skype, it be ok,” Geno replied, nodding.

Having Geno and Sidney around was good for Oliver. Sure he had his grandfathers and uncle, but any positive male influence was good for him. I also wasn’t sure how Oliver would process them being around and then gone. He had thrown a fit while Geno was over to watch an away game while he was out injured. It was past his bedtime and he didn’t want to listen to me. He started crying, kicking his feet into the sofa. He didn’t act like this often, and when he did it was an explosion. I tried to pick him up, but he fought me screaming he wanted Geno.

Before the game, the guys and I sat behind the bench watching the boys warm up. The guys watched excitedly as the coaches let the four youngest players shoot around. They enjoyed the game more than I expected. Sid watched, laughing when a player would fall then get up smiling. He pointed out players who he thought with the right coaching could improve the most.

The best part was Olly getting to play. The Preds coach watched the warm-ups and told Coach Charlie the two younger players who were skating well would be fine to play against the older kids since the game was the last of until September.

No only did Olly play, but he played well scoring his first real goal. He looked up into the bleachers as Geno whooped in celebration and tried to imitate Geno's one leg celly, but ultimately fell right over.

Kevin asked the parent reffing the game for the puck and tossed it over the glass to me. "Hey, give that to me and I'll take it for Dana to fix up for him," Sid told me with a gentle elbow.

✦✦✦✦

Oliver wasn’t the only one getting comfortable with the guys around. It had been a while since I had a group of friends who wanted to be around so often. Kevin and Stacy were great, but when they had people over, I ended up being the odd one out because I didn’t have a man in my life. Having a group of single friends was nice, even if Oliver was the center of attention.

The regular season was over. Last night was the last game against the Ottawa Senators on the back end of a back-to-back, Olly and I had went to the game sitting in the Mellon family suite with Richard and Jack. The guys had been nice enough to invite Olly down to tour the locker room after the game. I sat in the lounge with the players' wives and girlfriends after Geno had stood in the doorway and waved for Olly to join the boys as they got undressed.

It was weird being friends with such high profile athletes. When Sidney and Geno exited the room, Olly perched high on Geno's shoulders holding what looked like a trophy, I received a few glances from women I didn't know.

"Mommy, look what Sidney gave me," Olly exclaimed, showing me what has in his hands. Now I could see it for what it was, a glass case holding his first goal puck. The case had the Penguins logo at the base and the puck had metallic writing to commemorate: "Oliver Mellon 4-10-2014 1st Goal". We had found really great friends.

"So, I kind of invited everyone over for a barbecue tomorrow and I was wondering if you'd help me get everything together for it?" Sidney asked with a pleading grimace. I rolled my eyes and nodded at my friend.

"How many people?" I asked as Geno spun around making Olly squeal.

"Uh, um maybe, like all the guys and their families," he grimaced again, keeping a hopeful gleam in his honey brown eyes.

"Oh my gosh, you so owe me Crosby. I'm thinking free lessons for Olly once your season is over," I teased, getting my phone out to start preparing notes. "So safe estimate would be how many? And what kind of food?"

"Eighty?" He shrugged. "Hot dogs? hamburgers? Low key, but quality?"

"Ok so lots of ground beef and ballparks. Any vegetarians?" I asked as the room thinned out. Sidney stopped and suggested a late dinner to go over things.

The next morning, I made the short drive to Geno's house and woke him up, asking him to watch Oliver while I ran around picking up supplies. Geno and Olly were adorable together. And he was cheap - free - babysitting. I left them sitting on Geno's couch with bowls of cereal and cartoons on the television. Both ignoring me as I left.

I had never been to Sid's house. Geno's was closer to ours, only a three minute drive, so when we all hung out, it was easier because of Oliver. After stopping at a the butcher shop, I made the call for directions. I hoped there was enough room in his refrigerator for this and the rest I was going to pick up. When Sidney opened the gate for me, he then met me outside to cart things into the kitchen.

"That's a lot of beef," he commented at the two boxes of ground Chuck. "Maybe a little much?"

"Better to be over prepared than under. It's grassfed and it freezes well and there are a couple steaks in the bottom of one box. The butcher knows me and threw them in for the business," I told him, following his path through the garage to the kitchen. "I have to stop by Safran's for a few party platters. Giant Eagle was getting the hotdogs, buns, chips, condiments, potato salad, and slaw together so I just have to pay and bring it back. Then I'll start making hamburger patties. You should make a drink run. Water, soda, juice, beer, and whatever else you guys want."

"Wow, you've really thought of everything," he stood astonished of what I could get done in a few hours.

"This ain't my first rodeo," I joked, checking my phone to see a text from Geno. It was a picture of them making goofy faces. "You should probably wait until I'm back, so I'm not stuck waiting." I dashed out to make the run to Giant Eagle before he could say another word.

When I pulled back into the driveway two hours later, Geno's Porsche and James' Mercedes were sitting in front of the garage. I carried in the first box of buns, sitting them on the island before calling out to the guys. Pulling them away from the video game, I requested help carrying in the groceries. My truck was unloaded and I quickly delegated tasks. Sidney may have supplied the venue for the barbecue, but he really had no idea how to host it.

Oliver quickly took a list from Sid on what needed to be picked up and the two along with James set out to get ice, refreshments, and a paper plates, which I had forgotten. Geno stayed to help me season the burger and pat it out into patties. It was easy to tell Sid's mom had helped organize the kitchen and stock it with necessary utensils and tools.

The backyard of Sid's new house was full of kids. They were all playing in groups, some of the fathers acting like children themselves. I can see why it took Sidney so long to move into the house. It was a labor to make everything perfect. He wanted to insure everything was thought of because it was where he would raise a family. If Ezra and I had built our dream house it would have taken us just as long.

By eight o'clock the last of the burgers and hot dogs were being picked over, the kids were running in the yard, and I was exhausted. I spent the evening helping with everything as well as getting to know a few of the wives. Veronique Fleury and Carole-Lyne Dupuis were very nice and weren't shy to ask if I had been seeing Sidney. In a way it was a valid assumption. I was walking around very comfortably in his home. My son had run up to him a few times in excitement. I reassured them there was only a friendship between myself and the players.

In true form more than once I spotted Geno in the grass with Olly, Zach Kunitz, and Kody Dupuis on top of him. The man had a way with children. And he wasn't the only one. Sid had a parade of little girls floating in and out of his arms, young Aubrey Kunitz being one held longest. Those two were going to be great fathers and their future wives had no clue how lucky they were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story gets a purpose in chapter three. This truly was the calm before the storm.


	3. Beautiful, Wonderful, Perfect All-American Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _And now he's wrapped around her finger,_  
>  She's the center of his whole world.  
> And his heart belongs to that sweet little beautiful, wonderful, perfect all-American girl. 
> 
> A baby. What's he gonna do with a baby?!

The next day at noon, I wasn't expecting a phone call requesting my presence at an address south of the city, James' house. Sid met Oliver and myself at the door with an apologetic smile. Cries of an infant bellowing from the living room caused my eyebrows to shoot up in question. On the sofa was a visibly upset James along with Paul and Geno, who was trying to comfort the baby dressed in a pink outfit.

"We didn't know who else to call," Sid explained from beside me.

"Who's the baby?" Oliver asked innocently. James' posture and deep breathe stiffening told the story.

"She's my daughter, I guess. At least that's what the mother claims," he stated, head falling into his hands, his elbows resting on his knees as he bent over. "She was waiting on me when I got home from practice. Said we met last year and I got her pregnant. She tried being a mother, but that it's not what she wants. That it's too hard, and she didn't want to put her up for adoption without me knowing about her. So she left her, saying it was my problem now."

I took a few minutes to absorb the information, walking to take the crying baby from the tall Russian. "Do you know what you want to do?" I asked, bouncing the baby in my arms. Spotting the diaper bag, I asked Geno to find a pacifier or bottle while I checked her diaper.

"I don't know what to do," James answered, collapsing back into the sofa. "If she is mine, I can't just give her up, but I'm not ready to be a father."

"What's her name?" I asked, holding her close and swaying. Geno found a pacifier and bottle. I instructed him how to heat it up while getting the little girl with large blue eyes to take the pacifier.

"Nevaeh, she fucking named her Nevaeh!" He shouted, causing the baby to scare and start crying again. "My daughter cannot have a stupid name like that. Fucking 'heaven' spelt backwards."

"What would you have named her?" I asked, trying to get a picture on what needed to happen next.

"I don't know, but not fucking Nevaeh!"

"It can be changed. That's the least of your worries right now," I told him before cooing to the little girl, dropping a few kissed on her head. She had the cutest auburn hair. It was more than a Charlie Brown dusting. "Have you called a lawyer yet?"

"I don't have a lawyer in the States," he replied as Geno appeared with the warmed bottle. "You're a lawyer right? Can't you help me?"

"I'm not a family court type lawyer, and I'm not practicing. I have a few friends who may be able to help you," I told him, taking the seat next to him to try and feed the baby. Oliver crawled up beside me to watch. "Can someone grab my phone out of my purse?" I asked as she latched on to the bottle and began suckling away. She held the bottle on her own so I was able to take my phone and pull up a number. Everyone sat silent as I made an appointment for later that evening with the attorney. I spouted off the time we would meet in his offices downtown.

"Ok, we have a few hours to make some decisions. Noel knows a lab tech at UPMC, who he's gonna have come to his office to take swabs to run DNA. It may take a week for the results, so it will be the first order of business. Second, he will file paperwork to the courts declaring you temporary full custody. I say temporary until the results come back," I explained to which he nodded emotionlessly. "Did she leave any documents? Shot records? Birth certificate?"

He shrugged. "She just left the carrier and bag," he pointed to the open diaper bag. Sidney took initiative to empty the bag neatly on the coffee table. He produced an envelope with a birth certificate in it.

"Nevaeh Jane Neal, born October 24th, 2013 at 9:29PM. Mother: Jasmine Jones. Father: James Neal," Sidney read off.

"Nevaeh Jane? What the fuck?" James scoffed, rolling his eyes. Olly looked at me with large eyes every time James dropped an 'f' bomb and mouthed 'bad word' innocently. "She doesn't look like a Nevaeh."

"Again, changeable. If you can think of a better one, Noel can file the name change request as well," I explained again. Olly was playing with her sock clad feet as she kicked against him playfully. "Have you ever thought about what you would name one of your children? Your daughter?"

"I always liked Jacqueline. And I kinda like boy names for girls," he said with uncertainty. "She doesn't look like a Jacqueline or Jackie."

"Ok then, boy names for girls. Addison, Avery, Dylan, Ryan, Blake, Drew, Elliott, Emerson, Parker, Peyton, Bradley, Sawyer," I rambled.

"Evgenia?" Geno joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Never in my life would I name a child after you," James spat back, a small smile trying to be shown. "What names do you like?" he asked, turning towards me.

"It's not about what I like, it's what you want to name your daughter," I answered, he didn't appreciate my brush off. "Fine, Ainsley is nice. Harlow, Hollyn, Piper, Reese."

"Piper is different," he perked up looking at the others. "Piper James Neal?" he questioned, receiving quirked eyebrows. "What? I want to give my first born my name as a middle name. Plus, she could be PJ for short."

"That's actually really cute," I nodded. "What do you think? Piper?" I asked, receiving a laugh and gurgles from the little girl. "She likes it, Dad!"

"Now what? I don't know anything about raising a child," he asked, taking ownership of the situation once he had some say with the beautiful girl in my arms.

"Well, you'll need diapers, formula, bottles, and a few toys. A place for her to sleep. Did she leave the car seat base for the carrier?" I asked, bringing the newly named Piper up to burp her. He shook his head and I immediately started making a list in my head. "Ok first things first we have to get a car seat base. Then a portable crib until we know for sure she's yours. Clothes for a week. Can someone run to Target and buy a cheap car seat? We can go up to Ross Park to USA Baby and the mall after and get a nicer one that has a stroller system with it." Geno and Paul jumped up and quickly exited.

Piper was slowly falling asleep now that she had a full tummy, so I stood to sway her around. When she was fully conked out, James showed me to his room so I could put her down. Oliver, who had pulled his handheld game system out of my purse, followed and hopped on the bed like he owned the place. He refused to leave the room, lying down next to the baby and playing his video game on silent.

Back in the living room Sid, James, and I discussed what happened without little ears listening. "The season had just started up after the lockout and I went out with Pauly and Suttsy after a win. We went back to her place because it was closer. Just in Shady Side. I can't remember if we used a condom or not. Obviously if we did, it failed. She said she didn't sleep around much, and that I was the only guy she had been with during the Winter. That she was certain, one hundred percent, without a doubt that she's mine," he confessed. "What am I gonna do? My mom is gonna murder me. I can't tell her until I know for sure she's mine. That Piper, not fucking Nevaeh, is mine. Who's going to take care of her once playoffs start?"

"I can help out. But you're gonna have to come up with a long term plan, for future seasons. I'll help out until playoffs are over," I told him, rubbing circles on his back as he had an internal freak out. In the month I had known the guys, James was still a mystery. He could be boisterous, but he didn’t allow himself to open up like the others. I barely knew a thing about him. He liked playing video games, golf, and hockey. He ate a pretty consistent diet of grilled chicken or salmon, steamed veggies, and baked sweet potatoes with the occasional steak and cheat burger. Other than Sidney, he was the most picked on of the team. And he sometimes had questionable fashion tastes. Yet, here I was offering to help him with a child. He made bad choices, but he was a good guy underneath it all. "How about you go take a hot shower - yes I know you had one before you left the Consol, don’t question me - and try to calm down? I'll make a list of everything you're gonna need."

"I can't ask you to take care of her. You have Olly," he told me, sad eyes looking over toward me.

"You aren't asking. I'm offering," I replied, my lips pulling into a straight line. "I know we've only known each other for a month, but this is what friends are for right? I don't have a job to worry about. I have the money to allow me to help. Piper will stay with me while you are gone for games. And you can both stay with Oliver and I until you get the hang of the baby thing. Your house isn’t exactly baby friendly right now.” I hadn’t missed the sparse rooms and decor that screamed bachelor on my way to lay the baby down. “You're gonna need help. And if you aren't going to get it from your mom, then all you have is me. The less people who know right now the better. Until we get the paternity results." I patted his back. "Now go, shower."

Sidney gave me a look as James exited the room. "See why we called you," he offered. "I knew you could handle the situation better than we could."

"Only because I've been a single parent and had to juggle finishing law school and taking care of a newborn," I nodded, pulling up a website with a list of essentials. "He's gonna fight me when he sees how expensive an infant will be. And if I'm taking care of her when he's gone or practicing, then I'm picking out the things I would buy if it were me. Like the expensive stroller and carseat which gets better ratings, and is also aesthetically pleasing. None of the cheap crap," I added, kicking the cheap carrier. "She probably needs to be checked by a pediatrician. Time to call Olly's," I spoke out loud before placing the call.  
Forty-five minutes had gone by and James was still in the shower. We could hear the water running when Geno and Paul came back with the car seat. I told Sid to go out and help them install it in my truck.

"Mommy, PJ's crying again," Olly called from the open door, obviously liking the initials. I followed him into the dimly lit room. Picking her up, I sat on the edge of the bed and rocked her in my arms, singing a lullaby I still used on Olly. As she calmed down, I wasn’t expecting the bathroom door to open and reveal James only wearing a towel. I quickly adverted my eyes and muttered an apology, before standing to exit the room.

✦✦✦✦

By six o’clock we had been to USA Baby, the mall, Babies R’ Us, and Target. Just as I predicted, James fought me on the price, even when I offered to pay. He didn’t like the price, but he wouldn’t let me buy anything as a gift or as a spare for my house when he was gone. Olly had fun shopping. He picked out clothes, toys, and diaper bags - James refused to use anything that looked like a purse, so he selected a military olive colored Diaper Dude bag. The diaper bag she was dropped off with was filthy and I was not going to carry the very masculine bag. Oliver picked a black Rebecca Minkoff, because I had a few of her purses which looked the same and he liked it. I agreed only because I knew I wouldn’t be carrying a purse as well while watching the little girl with big, blue-grey eyes. It was really odd picking out baby things with a group of men. Before it had been myself, my mom, and Evelyn. Geno was the most fun. The man truly loved children of all ages and I could tell he was going to be a wonderful dad in the future. But right now, we needed his teammate to step up to the plate. James was very aloof about picking out things for Piper - truth be told, no one had liked the name Nevaeh. It just didn’t fit.

All day, it had either been myself or Geno taking care of her. James had no interest in feeding or changing her. I was hoping it was just the shock of finding out he had a child, but something needed to change. He needed to try and bond with the beautiful baby girl.

We had taken three vehicles knowing we would probably need as much space as possible for carting everything back to the house. It was a chore to buy almost everything necessary to take care of a baby in one day. And after an interaction with a sales associate, we knew we needed to buy enough for longer than a week. Normally you had months to prepare, get ready for the arrival. Paul was sent back to James’ with one load while Geno and Sid dropped things off at my house. I escorted James to Noel’s office for the initial consult. Many documents were signed, including the official name change, and the swabs were taken back to the hospital to begin the testing.

When we pulled up into my detached garage, Olly and Piper were both asleep, exhausted from all the excitement. In the thirty minutes it took to unload all the bags from my truck, both had woken up hungry. It was almost eight o’clock and I was in no shape to cook a meal, so Sid ran out to pick up greasy take out which we all would regret eating. No one could know where Piper was on her development levels, so I was trying out a jar of pureed sweet potatoes for her. Olly took turns feeding her with me while we all sat at the table. She took to it well, squealing a few times in delight.

James was still in an almost catatonic state. He went through the motions of eating and taking the tags off the baby clothes, but he hardly ever paid attention to his daughter. Everything had started when we were in USA Baby picking out which stroller system, James wanted to buy - UPPAbaby Mesa in teal and Vista with a lavender toddler seat or the Maxi-Cosi Prezi and Kaia in a few different colors, either would be purchased with an extra car seat base. James had liked the Stokke Xplory in purple, but it had the highest price and didn’t meet the needs. I had purchased an UPPAbaby system for Grace and Carter when they had their little boy Jacob around the same time Piper was born. She raved over it and I knew when I had another child I would want one or its successor. He ended up choosing the UPPAbaby - purple being his favorite color and all.

When we were picking the color of the stroller the sales associate, an older lady, gushed about how Piper had James’ eyes. None of us had noticed it before, but they were pretty close to identical. The comment was enough to cause him to shut down. He had barely spoken since. A simple yes, no, or ok being all we could get out of him in Nordstroms, Baby Gap, and Target  
Geno helped Oliver bathe and get ready for bed while Sidney and I put clothes in the wash and sterilize the bottles, utensils, and really, the entire kitchen. James had excused himself to a spare bedroom leaving Piper in a lamb decorated bouncer on the kitchen peninsula. She was playing with the two lambs that hung above her, until I was ready to bath her and put her to sleep in the fourth bedroom. I could tell Sidney was exhausted just from how exhausted I was. I sent him and Geno home before gathering up Piper to bathe her. They had a game the next evening; they needed their rest.

I was hunched over the bathtub of warm water rubbing a washcloth over her soft skin as she cooed and splashed the water. She loved bathtime so much I was afraid she would wake Olly. It wasn’t until I heard a soft chuckle behind me as I played with her that I remembered the little girl’s father was also in the house. I glanced over my shoulder then motioned with my neck for him to join us. He sat on the closed lid of the toilet as his daughter gurgled, creating little spit bubbles as she kicked her legs splashing water.

The bathroom smelled of lavender soothing all three of us before I lifted her wet body from the baby tub into the towel James now held. It was the first time I had seen him hold her. He gently patted her skin dry, watching her gurgle and smile up at him. When her smile was mirrored on his face, I felt hope wash over me. There was still hope he could bond with her and be the dad she needed him to be. He helped put lotion and powder on her before picking out a freshly laundered jumper for her, talking to her in a baby voice the entire time.

We walked down to the kitchen to make a bottle of rice cereal and formula to put her to sleep. James never once tried to hand her off to me. He feed and rocked her to sleep, watching her as her eyes drifted shut.

In the fourth bedroom, I had set up the portable pack n’ play crib for her to sleep in until something more permanent was decided. This room would be turned into Piper’s home away from home. I couldn’t uproot my own son to take care of her, so she would have to have a room here as well. I had to pull James out of the room, or he would have stayed up all night to watch her sleep. Something had clicked while he watched her in the bath. I was clueless as to what it was, but I was glad it had.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> __  
> I've got this friend  
>  I don't think you know her  
> She sings a simple song  
> It sounds a lot like his 
> 
> _Oh I've got this friend_  
>  Holding onto her heart  
> Like it's a little secret  
> Like it's all she's got to give 
> 
> “How can you have this crazy natural ability to take care of kids, to basically take care of me too when I went all nonvocal, yet you don’t take care of yourself?” he asked, setting the bottle down on the coffee table.
> 
> “I take care of myself.” I couldn’t help, but frown.

Coos and giggles woke me up the next morning. The sound was coming from my nightstand, where the receiver for a baby monitor sat. I could hear James talking to Piper, no doubt tickling her to get the giggles. It was my turn to follow the sounds and stand in the doorway watching him with her. 

I felt like I had been hit with a Mack truck as I leaned against the door frame. My hair was up high in a messy bun, I was wearing no make up, glasses, an old college t-shirt and a pair of tight black yoga pants. I was pretty sure James would scream when he saw me looking worse for the wear. When he did notice me, he only smiled before turning his attention back to Piper. I smiled at them then turned to pad down to make a cup of coffee and some breakfast. 

Oliver was up as soon as he smelt the bacon hit the frying pan. He took his normal seat at the counter while James followed him with Piper in his arms. A weird feeling ghosted over me as I watched the three interact while the bacon fried away. It had always just been Olly and I. Having James and a baby at the table made me wonder if this is what having a family felt like. The hankering for a baby of my own again sprouted its head like it always did when I was around babies for the last two years. It was easy to squash the feeling when I had no love interest and knew I would be taking care of the little girl who now sat giggling as Olly played with her feet causing her toes to fan out.

Before we went about our day, I needed to get a schedule from James. I needed to know when his practices and games were for the week. How long his practices and workouts would go. A full schedule of appointments and Oliver’s schedule needed to be shared between the two of us for Piper’s benefit. While he was at practice today, I would be taking Piper to the pediatrician. Olly would be accompanying him to practice to watch from the bench. Geno would drive the two to the Consol and Paul would take them back to James’ to get his car. 

Doctor Lahiri was shocked to see me with an infant as she did a thorough exam including blood work to see what antibodies may be in little Piper’s system. Her office was able to run a search through the UPMC database for the birth name, only to come up empty on what vaccinations she may already have been given. Walking back out into the waiting room to leave, I didn’t expect to see Vero with Estelle. 

“Violet,” she called out upon seeing me. Her eyes floating down to the stroller and then back up to me questioning. 

“A friend of mine had work and couldn’t bring her themselves,” I told her with a shrug. I wasn’t exactly a lie. James was a friend, and he did have work. 

“Marc mentioned Oliver was at practice today with Geno and James,” she eyed me again, a small smirk pulling on her lips. She really needed to stop thinking I would date or was dating one of the guys. 

“Yeah, Geno is a cheap babysitter. I think he enjoys having Olly around more than Olly enjoys him,” I laughed it off. “I’d love to stay and chat, but I know she’s gonna need lunch and a nap soon. Maybe we can get together next week for lunch. I’ll probably be watching her again, so it could be like a play date,” I asked, trying to be nice and make a prompt exit before she asked more questions. We hadn’t discussed who all would be told of Piper’s existence before the paternity test came back. She agreed telling me to get her number from Sidney to make plans. 

Back at the house, I pulled into the driveway seeing multiple cars waiting on us. Piper was cooing away at a Baby Einstein toy which lit up and played music as I carried her into the house, diaper bag slung over my shoulder. Six men stood around my kitchen, Geno and Sid at the helm making something for a late lunch. Olly sat on the counter watching the men work. Brandon and Tanner stopped when they saw me walk in the side door, James rushing over to take Piper from my arms. Paul pulled me into a sidewards hug, giving me silent encouragement for what I was doing. For a proverbial bachelor, he would make a good boyfriend when he chose to be one. Tanner and Brandon stood still, obviously taking in the situation while James unbuckled Piper from the carrier. 

“Momma, James and Geno took me on the ice. I got to take shots against Flower,” Olly said excitedly, flailing his sippy cup of juice as he spoke. 

“Speaking of Marc, I ran into Vero at the pediatrician,” I turned to James who was dancing around with Piper. “I didn’t say anything, but she’s gonna have questions next time I see her. I was really short with her.” James nodded as I spoke. “What happened to as few people as necessary?”

“Blame Olly,” Sidney spoke up from his job cutting up a salad. “These two were the only ones around when he brought it up.”

“Sorry,” Olly cowered with shame. 

“It ok Ol,” Geno told him, poking him with the butt end of the spatula causing him to laugh. 

The table was crowded as we all gathered around it to eat lunch, Piper situated in Oliver’s old high chair between James and I. He was feeding her a jar of green beans while we let the two newbies in on the story. 

“So it was that night we went to Mario’s?” Brandon asked, leaving out the details. James nodded, wiping Piper’s mouth as she pushed the pureed vegetable out with her tongue. 

“She kinda looks like you. The eyes definitely. Guess the hair comes from that damn ginger beard,” Tanner joked, tugging at James’ two day scruff. 

“Oh, Tanner said a bad word Mommy,” Oliver said accusingly, causing Tanner to pale a bit as he realized little ears who repeat were around. 

“Bad Tanner,” Geno said swatting him for good measure to make Oliver laugh. 

Tanner and Brandon were the first to leave, Sid following after them shortly. Geno and Paul settled into the basement playroom with Oliver to watch the Jungle Book and catch a nap. James sat at the breakfast bar with Piper in the bouncer as I cleaned up the kitchen. “She’s mine,” he stated matter of factly. “I can feel it now.” I turned holding the wet dish rag in my hand to listen to him. “I can’t explain it. Once the shock wore off, I just, I just knew,” he said with a smile as Piper chewed and drooled on a giraffe shaped teether.

“I believe you,” I replied warmly. “There’s a connection when you look into their eyes. I couldn’t stop staring at Oliver when they gave him to me after cleaning him up. I held him for hours, not caring about how tired I was.”

“Last night when you were bathing her. Her laugh just hit me in the chest and I knew,” he explained, his index finger gripped tightly in her little hand. “I kinda get why you chicks get all gooey over babies,” he added the joke.

“Hey, us chicks hear those laughs, smell the powdery scent, and our ovaries explode,” I joked back, causing him to look up to me with a smile.

“Seriously, I can’t thank you enough for helping me out. I wouldn’t feel comfortable for asking the guys with families to help out. Not during playoffs. Not when everything is so up in the air. And my mom really will kill me. My dad probably expected it sooner than now,” he joked again. “I’ll tell her when we get the results next week and she’ll probably come down to help out for a little while.”

“She’s welcome to stay here since I noticed how lacking your house is yesterday. You’ll need to get more things for your place. Like a highchair,” I reasoned. 

“You’ll help me, right?” he asked, the look on his face full of desperation. I nodded and dropped the rag on the counter before walking over to him. I rubbed his back before questioning him.

“How are you doing? The last twenty-four hours were crazy. You find out you have a daughter, whose dumped on your doorstep basically, and have to change your life completely overnight. It’s ok to not be ok,” I told him. His body leaned over into my chest and took a few deep breaths before his body shook with sobs. I knew it was only time before he broke down. Men never deal with their emotions properly. I just stood there holding him through the breakdown. He cried until Piper cooed loudly. “I’m gonna make her a bottle, then why don’t you take her upstairs to feed her and put her down for a nap. You could probably use your pre-game nap as well.” He nodded and wiped his face. 

 

✦✦✦✦

Walking into the Airport Ice Arena with a baby later that evening drew a few stares. The Penguins had their first playoff game at home. The puck would drop at seven-thirty, and James had already left for the Consol with Geno when I started loading up the kids. We too would be heading to the game once Olly was showered and dressed after practice. James had told his teammates as soon as he got back to the arena about Piper. After their nap, Piper sleeping on his chest on the couch, he brought up how he wanted her there and phone calls were made to put us on the players’ guest list. He knew she wouldn't remember being there, but he would and it was all that mattered. 

For his first game as a father, Oliver, Piper, and I would sit with Vero, Carole-Lyne, and others in the family suite. A few boxes down from the family suite was where I normally spent games. The Mellon suite would be full and no doubt I would run into my in-laws - technically they weren't I know, but how else would you label your dead fiancé-slash-son’s father's family? They would see me with a baby and be confused. They would then call my parents and ask what is going on. So while Oliver was on the ice, I made calls to explain why friends of either family may see me with a baby. 

My mom was confused as to why I am helping out a friend who I had just met a month ago. She could see me stepping up and helping any of the friends she had met, but the hockey player friends were unknown to them. Olly had mentioned them being around when we had Sunday supper two weeks ago, but neither thought much of it. 

Evelyn immediately understood and only wished to see Olly and possibly cuddle Piper. It had been a while since she had held a baby, and Jack wasn't showing signs of settling down just yet. I couldn't blame him. If I didn't have Olly after Ezra died, I probably wouldn't be nearly as settled as I currently was. 

Throughout Olly's practice, I sat with Piper in my lap, clapping and cheering when Olly did something good. The swift moving boys on the ice caused her eyes to open wide as she followed them around the ice. Kevin knew when I lied about who’s child Piper was, but didn’t call me out on it, thankfully. He did say the boys wanted to have a sleepover soon, and that Stacy would call to figure out which house would host.

Once the locker room was cleared out, I went in to make sure Olly showered himself well. The last thing I needed was a smelly boy in my car and running around the suite. At the Consol, James had secured me a spot in the players' garage and had Vero waiting for us when we walked in the private entrance. 

"I cannot believe James has a daughter," she confessed as soon as we were seated with Carole-Lyne, her holding Estella in her lap, Piper in mine, Oliver was running around with Kody Dupuis. The two had been inseparable at the barbecue, and it seemed to be a nice little friendship. “Well, that’s a lie. I can believe it. He’s known for some of his exploits.”

“Are you sure you should be helping him out?” Carole-Lyne asked, her brow furrowed with worry. “You haven’t really known him long and you are closer with Sid and Geno.”

“He didn’t feel comfortable asking any one else. You have four of your own, and then Vero has a toddler to chase around. Sid called me because I have a very independent five-year-old. There are so many new mom’s around here, and if they aren’t new, they have multiple kids to run everywhere,” I explained, looking between the two as Piper played with my necklace. “Yeah, so we aren’t super close. But he trusts me enough to allow my help. And it just felt like the right thing to do. I know what it feels like to find out you are going to be a single parent. Even with funds to support yourself, you feel so lost. And I just saw the desperation in his eyes. He’s a good guy who fell prey to the ‘young, rich, and famous’ lifestyle,” I tried to reason. “Plus he’s terrified to tell his mom.”

“So he’s gonna wait to tell her after he has definitive proof of paternity?” Vero asked, looking from my eyes down to the little girl in my lap. I nodded, humming my affirmation. 

“And you’re just going to be his unpaid nanny while he’s gone the rest of the season?” Carole-Lyne furthered the conversation.

“Well, kinda. He’s pretty sure when he does tell his mom, she’ll come down to help out. I’m not sure how long that will be for, but as long as I’m needed and Olly isn’t affected, I’m ok with being the person.” 

The conversation lulled as the guys took the ice for warm ups and some of the older kids settled in to the lower balcony seats to watch. Olly and Kody were talking animatedly and laughing loudly. When a huge smile broke out on his face, and he started waving, I knew Oliver had spotted his grandparents a few boxes down. He ran up the stairs asking if he could go down to see them. He was excited as he ran down the concourse where the Richard, Jack, and Evelyn stood. Jack scooped him up in a big bear hug before asking where Olly got his jersey. Geno had produced a bag of goodies after lunch, in the bag was a new home jersey for both the kids. Piper’s was a blank infant jersey, while Olly’s was embroidered with the number seventy-one and Geno’s name. A few t-shirts, hats, beanies, jumpers, a cute infant girls’ outfit, and bibs also were in the bag.

“We get ‘Neal’ on hers when Lazy finally tell ‘dat he father,” Geno had said, causing James to roll his eyes.

I listened to Oliver tell them about his jersey and how James and Geno had taken him to practice. Evelyn turned away from the boys and set her sights on the little girl I was holding.

“Oh, would you look at her,” she gushed, taking one of Piper’s little hands. “And those eyes.”

“Yeah, they are the tell-tale to her being James’,” I let her know, bouncing her in my arms.

“And you are seeing him? Why didn’t you tell us?” she asked, with a hint of sadness. “We’re more than fine with you dating.”

“Oh, no. I’m not seeing him. Or any of his teammates,” I brushed it off before a blush could tinge my cheeks. “We are friends and I’m doing what friends do: helping.”

“Would it be so bad if you were seeing him or anyone for that matter?” she asked, kissing Piper’s hands as she giggled.

“It’s not that. He’s not really the type of guy who digs commitment, so I would never even let myself get involved with him like that. He and the others are just friends,” I told her, keeping my voice low. “When I do meet a man, I will tell you all. I lost Ezra, I have Oliver, and right now that’s all I need. Well and this little girl is gonna be pretty special too.”

Kody popped his head out of the suite and announced to Oliver that the game was getting ready to start, Olly shimmied down his uncle’s front and took off running. I said my goodbyes and went to find a seat in the box.

After the final horn securing the win, we all slowly emptied the suite, heading down to the family lounge. It was still weird to me being in the room. I sat with Vero while Estella tried to play with Piper. Once the media had exited the locker room, James popped out in his Under Armour base layers. He dropped a kiss on Piper’s head and asked me to wait while he got in a post-game workout and shower. Piper was getting restless and I knew she wouldn’t make it much longer. It was late and Oliver was going to crash soon as well. 

We didn’t make it fifteen minutes before Piper got fussy. She was hungry and tired, and I too was beginning to feel it. It had been a heavy two days. Vero helped warm a bottle for her and she calmed down the instant the bottle hit her lips. Of the guys I knew, Geno was the first to exit the locker room looking freshly showered and tired. It didn’t stop him from hoisting Olly in the air though.

“We go get food once others done,” he offered, looking between myself and Oliver, to which Oliver asked if he could get steak and fries. “Of course, if mama say ok,” he told him. 

Piper was fighting sleep as she tried to finish her bottle when James finally exited the room freshly showered and in his suit. He dropped his bag on the stroller and took her from my arms. “Can’t believe he’s wearing Geno’s jersey,” he rolled his eyes as Geno and Olly joked around. 

“They are like best friends, you’ve seen them the last three weeks,” I told him, getting the stroller ready to leave and my keys loose. “Geno said we are going to get food.”

“Yeah, a few guys want to go out after,” he told me, not sounding like he finished his thought.

“I’ll understand if you want to go with them. It’s been a crazy few days for you,” I let him know. 

“I could really use a beer, but you have some in your fridge so I’ll just drink when we get back to your place,” he shrugged, adjusting his little girl in his arms. “I’m not going to be that dickhead who abuses the help of a friend.”

“I don’t expect you to just change overnight. No one does,” I reasoned. It was well-known James liked going out after games. No one expected him to just stop going out, I didn’t expect it.

“I know, but maybe she’s what I need. Let’s talk about this back at the house, too many ears around here,” he said, looking around the hallway we had walked into that was full of both teams’ staff and guests. 

 

✦✦✦✦.

 

We barely made it through dinner. Oliver was nodding off as he ate his fries and steak, Piper was out on the car ride to the restaurant, and I had to let James drive back to the house because my eyes were drooping. I carried Piper in and up the stairs while James did the same for Olly and helped him get changed into his pajamas. I was doing the same for Piper and putting a fresh diaper on her before tucking her into the pack n’ play. As I was finishing James came in to kiss her head. On our way back down the stairs, I popped my head in Olly’s room to make sure he was tucked in properly.

I collapsed on one section of the sofa while James went to grab a beer. My eyes were shutting when he kicked my foot and told me to go to bed. We needed to finish the conversation from earlier, so I pulled a throw pillow into my arms before broaching the subject.

“You could have gone out you know,” I told him, cuddling deeper into the plush cushions.

“I know. But I need to man up, take responsibility for my actions. You shouldn’t be made to take the brunt of this,” he said from his lounged position before taking a long drag off the brown bottle. “I’ll still want to go out, and I want you to go out too. But I’m not going to continue the after every game party. That’s what got me into this.” I nodded my head in understanding.

“I haven’t gone out since New Year’s,” I confessed, feeling ashamed of my lack of a social life. It wasn’t like I had no friends at all, I just chose to stay at home with Oliver. I don’t feel I was really owed to meet anyone else. And that’s what people go out to do, to meet people in hopes of a relationship. 

“What?! You are so going out with us,” he said, sitting up and watching me react. “I’m sure my mom wouldn’t mind being the one to watch Olly and Piper once I finally tell her. We’ll go out after the team gets back from Columbus. Hopefully its to celebrate a four-and-o series win.” His eyes were wide with the excitement of getting me out in a bar. “You obviously drink or you wouldn’t have fresh beer in the fridge and a nice collection of wine in it’s own little fridge. Do you not have anyone else to go with? I mean I know you have Kevin and his wife, but other single friends?” The topic had obviously gotten him excited. 

“I really don’t,” I said sadly. “Until I met you guys, I really didn’t.” The realization was shocking to both of us. 

“How can you have this crazy natural ability to take care of kids, to basically take care of me too when I went all nonvocal, yet you don’t take care of yourself?” he asked, setting the bottle down on the coffee table.

“I take care of myself.” I couldn’t help, but frown.

“You feed yourself, bathe yourself, clothe yourself, but you aren’t taking care of yourself emotionally. That’s not healthy. You need to talk to people. People who have similar interests and who are over the age of five.” His brow was furrowed and he was looking at me with concern. 

“I’m going to have lunch with Vero while you guys are in Columbus. Maybe I should change it to having her, Carol-lyne, and a few others over to watch the game on Monday?” A small smile spread over his features before he nodded.

“I really don’t want to leave you guys for four days.” His voice was tender. I had never heard his voice like this. “Not now. Not when I’m still trying to get used to this.”

“You’re going to be a good dad,” I told him, mirroring the warmness. “You may have your doubts, but you’ve got what it takes. With a little training, you’ll be good to go.” A tired smile spread across my face as I shook lightly with laughter. “Piper’s gonna be a lucky little girl when you figure it out. Lord knows she won’t date until she’s thirty.” His eyebrows shot up and he rolled his head in exaggerated agreement. “We should know something on the paternity test before you get back from Columbus. Do you think your mom will come down to stay the entire playoffs?”

“I really don’t know. She works part-time, but she really doesn’t need to. So, she may take a leave and stay. Why?”

“I really didn’t think about how long you’d be gone during playoffs. Maybe you should just plan on staying here longer than we really assumed you’d be here. No offense, but my house is more hospitable than yours. Plus, I’m sure she wouldn’t want to be holed up in your house alone for four days at a time while you’re off being a hockey superstar.” I slowly eased up, loosening my grip on the pillow. A large yawn wracked my body, sleep was ready to consume me. “Just think about it, I’m going to bed. The alarm's set, just turn off the lights when you head to bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting on Friday because all day Saturday I will be out and about exploring my new city. Ok, honestly, I'm going to be out doing a shop/restaurant crawl before an early St. Paddy's day bar crawl. But I'll be exploring parts of my new city while doing so.
> 
> Moral of the story, you get a new chapter tonight instead of tomorrow. I really hope you all enjoyed this one. I feel like it needed to be shown that she can handle two kids. And that their situation could work.
> 
> Leave me love. I feed off it. Plus, I enjoy talking with my readers.


	5. I Wanna Get Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m a father.

I didn’t know I was lonely 'til I saw your face  
I wanna get better, better, better, better,  
I wanna get better  
I didn't know I was broken 'til I wanted to change  
I wanna get better, better, better, better,  
I wanna get better 

I’m a father. Not three words I expected to hear when I woke up yesterday. Not three words I expected to hear until I was married. Definitely not after the birth. She’s just over five-months old, and while I’m not upset I didn’t have to deal with a crazy pregnant chick, I’m kinda hurt I wasn’t involved in the birth. She’s absolutely a beautiful baby. I thought Estelle was a gorgeous baby, but my daughter takes the cake - definitely going to hold that over Flower’s head in the room.

I have a daughter. Who the hell names their child Nevaeh? It’s easy to see why I didn’t call the girl again. My daughter is no Nevaeh. Piper fits her. Just in the twenty-four hours I’ve been around her, she’s a Piper. Or a PJ. Her laughs and squeals of joy are like music to my ears.

Granted, it wasn’t like that right away. At first it scared me shitless. What was I going to do with a baby? It’s the first round of the playoffs, I can’t take a baby on the road with me. Of course, leave it to Sid to keep a level head and call the one person we knew who would drop everything to help out.

Violet, how can I describe Violet. She’s gorgeous. Its the first thing I thought a month ago when we met her and Oliver before inserting my foot in my mouth. Once we knew her story, I felt like a chump for even trying to hit on her. All the guys at the skate knew she was beautiful. She’s an approachable beauty though. Her dark hair frames her rounded, feminine features. Nothing sharp about her appearance except her piercing eyes. More than a few times I’ve wished my eyes were as striking as her bright, crisp blue eyes. And don’t even get me started on her body.

For the last month she’s been someone we’ve all enjoyed hanging out with, Sid and Geno more than the rest of us. I mean, I know her, but for her to do everything she did yesterday, well it blows my mind. I never would have expected someone I barely know to take control of a sensitive situation and handle it so completely. It’s when I knew she was truly out of my league. Even a straight-laced guy like Sid wasn’t even in her league. Both he and Geno were showing interest in her; Geno using the kid angle.

And then there’s Olly. He’s a great kid. Not like most kids I’ve been around, and I love kids, but he’s different. Reminds me of a little Sid almost in the way he is funny, serious, and seems older than he is all at once. He’s already taken a protector role with PJ, as he likes calling her, refusing to call her Piper. Seeing how well Olly was turning out, it made the decision to allow Violet to help that much easier.

When we were out picking things up for the initial week, she had to do everything. I felt like such a failure. I have absolutely no clue what it takes to raise a child, to take care of a baby. And when the lady at one of the stores commented on something we had all missed - her eyes, Piper has my eyes - I shut down. It was all they could do to get me to answer questions of color and types of things. I couldn’t handle it. Those eyes were identical to my own. We hadn’t noticed it, no one had. Then late last night as I heard Violet bathing her, and holding her to help dry her, I knew. I just felt something hit me in the gut like a punch from the biggest goon in the league. My world was changing forever.

"Hey how did things go after we left?" Sid asked when we were taking turns with line rushes. Oliver was watching from the bench with Duper, and Kody; both boys in their skates and helmets ready to take the ice as soon as official practice was over. Olly was so excited to skate at the CEC, Flower was going to stay out and let them take shots on him. "You seem to be in a lighter mood."

"Yeah, I, uh, kinda snapped out of it when Vi was giving her a bath. Something just clicked," I explained as Suttsy's line rushed towards Flower.

“Have you told your mom yet?” Sid asked as Geno skated up to us, roughing with me a little.

“No, I’m going to wait until it’s definitive. I need to digest this before I bring her into it,” I told him as Dan called out for Sid and Kuni’s line to get ready. “She’s going to kill me.”

“We do lunch today?” Geno asked, shoving me again. “I cook at her place.”

“Pauly’s taking me to get my car, so you’ll have to stop and buy groceries on your way,” I agreed before he skated off to join Sid and Kuni for a few rushes, Suttsy moving up to center for me and Juice.

“Did Sid bring his girlfriend’s kid?” Brandon asked, nodding over to where Olly and Kody were talking animatedly.

“Violet’s not Sid’s girlfriend,” I rebutted quickly, my brow furrowing tightly. “I brought him with me and Geno.”

“Oh, so you are seeing her?” Brandon prodded again, eyebrow quipped. “Didn’t take you as one to date a girl with a kid.”

“I’m not seeing her. She’s helping me out with something today and I decided to bring him along. You’ve been around Violet, you know she’s not looking to date one of us,” I said vaguely, shaking my head as Sid tripped over his own two skates while taking a shot. “She’s different and a good person.”

“Sounds like you like her,” Brandon chuckled, causing me to roll my eyes.

“She’s too good for any of us, Stan,” I told him, shoving him as we got ready to go up against Joey V, Beau, and Tanner’s line.

Once practice was over, Sid, Geno, Pauly, Flower and a few others stayed out to play around with the boys. Geno had taken Oliver down in a fit of giggles more than once before we headed into the locker room to grab a shower. Kody and Olly were running around the room and lounge like two crazed kids after Chef Sean made them cups of hot cocoa. Violet was going to kill me if he didn’t come down before she got home.

The two were shoving and wrestling around and right before Olly would have stumbled back onto the logo, I snatched him up in my arms. Kody gasped loudly and his eyes bugged out in shock. “How about you two chill out a little while we get cleaned up? No more running in the room,” I told them authoritatively. A snicker rang out behind me as I set Olly down.

“Nice talk, Dad,” Pauly teased, throwing a ball of tape at me.

“When are we going to go home to see Momma and PJ?” Olly asked, catching Tanner and Suttsy’s attention. I quickly told him and Kody to go play with the toys in the lounge.

“Momma and PJ?” Tanner asked, his brow raising and a smirk playing on his mouth. “She have another kid we don’t know about? And why are you going back there?” I nervously looked over at Sid and Paul hoping for a little backup.

“For someone who swears nothing is going on, it sure looks like you are dating her,” Brandon quipped, sitting back in his stall.

“She doesn’t have another kid, we aren’t dating, and nothing is going on between us,” I started, running my hands through my sweaty hair. I took a deep breath before explaining, “PJ is Piper, and she’s my daughter.” The look on their faces was pure shock. “I just found out about her yesterday after practice. A one-nightstand from the beginning of last season. Stan, you were there with me at Mario’s the night I took her home. She was waiting on me when Pauly and I got back yesterday.” Making my way back to my stall to finish stripping my gear, I slumped back against the wood, resting my head on smelly pads. “Come over to Violet’s for lunch. You can meet her and we can talk about it more. I was going to keep it quiet until we had the paternity test results back, but I kinda want them here tonight.”

“Oh, I get them all something from the team store,” Geno spoke up excitedly. “Olly and I went while you had Kadar help you stretch.”

“She’s not wearing your number G,” I laughed, shoving him before he dropped trow to head to the showers.

“Got blank for her. Olly wear my number. Maybe V too,” he joked, wagging his eyebrows twice.

“She’s too good for any of us G, keep dreaming,” I shook my head at his antics.

As quickly as possible, Paul drove me down to get my car and grab a suit for himself before we both drove back up to Violet’s for lunch. Geno was waiting in the driveway and tapped his watch impatiently. Sid pulled in with Tanner and Brandon following shortly afterwards. We all gathered in the kitchen as Geno started prepping the food with his shadow Oliver watching his every move. The kid was in love with having Geno in his life. It was obvious Olly wanted Geno to be more than just his mentor. But I meant what I said. Violet is too good for any of us. Geno would probably have the best shot with her though. He’s good with kids, funny, successful, and responsible. I shook the thought away, what would I do without her? If Geno took her, then who would help me.

“So where is Violet and the darling spawn?” Brandon asked from the opposite side of the peninsula. “I need to see it with my own eyes.”

“It has a name. Piper, Piper James,” I told him, rolling my eyes at his crassness.

“PJ. She’s PJ,” Olly squawked from the countertop beside where Geno was cutting vegetables. “She had a stupid name before.”

“You renamed her?” Tanner asked both brows raised.

“The-the witch named her flipping Neveah,” I spat, picking my words carefully due to the five-year-old in our presence. “So with some suggestions from Violet, I chose Piper. Piper James, or like Olly will only call her, PJ.” They both nodded, Sid and Pauly stayed quiet sipping on bottles of water. They knew everything that had happened yesterday, never judging. “It was something I always wanted, to use my name as a middle name, so that’s what I did.”

When Violet comes in the door, the two new to the secret gaped as she handed me the carrier holding my daughter. Olly quickly went into a gush of how I took him onto the ice. Even though he mentioned Geno, it was me who laced his skates up, took him on the ice, and helped him shoot towards Flower. It made me jealous of Geno and his ability to make kids love him. Then to add to it, Violet seeing Vero out at the pediatrician’s office only further complicated things. I know Violet doesn’t want to lie to someone she was trying to kindle a friendship with, and I know what I have to do. Especially since I want Violet to bring Olly and Piper to the game later.

At three o’clock I leave Violet’s with Pauly after explaining where to park and pick up the tickets to Violet. Marc is the first person I search out after changing into my Under Armor and gym shorts. “Hey, can you call Vero and tell her to wait down here for Violet? She’s coming to the game and will have two kids with her. And they got along really well at Sid’s barbecue.”

“Two kids? And why are you asking me? Shouldn’t Sidney or Geno be the one’s asking?” Marc asked, one eyebrow raised sky high.

“She’s not seeing anyone, if that’s what you are getting at. God, can’t we all just be friends with a girl?” I ask, rolling my eyes and shaking my head. “She’s bringing her son and she’s helping me out. The other kid is mine. I have a daughter.” The look on Marc’s face is almost comical. “Short story, I have a five-month old daughter I didn’t know about. Violet is helping me take care of her.”

“Wow,” he marveled, while nodding. “A daughter? I can’t believe it,” he added with his French-laced English.

“Yeah, and hate to break it to you, but she’s going to give Estelle a run for her money in the ‘Gorgeous Baby’ department. So be ready,” I ribbed, elbowing him a little.

“Oh, what the fuck ever. Estelle is the most beautiful baby in the world. Have you seen her stunner of a mother?” Marc spits back.

“Yeah, well Piper is more beautiful,” I tell him, meaning every word. “Call Vero and let her in on the secret. She saw Violet out at the doctor today with Piper.”

“Oh fuck, that’s the baby she had out?” Marc gapes, Vero obviously told him about seeing Violet. I nod and wait for him to continue. “Shit.”

After a short conversation, Marc went out to make the call and alert Vero. I needed to tell the rest of the team, the sooner the better. The time came easily when Bort and Beau asked if I was going to go out with them after the game.

“I can go to dinner, but not out. And I’ll have guests for dinner,” I told them as I stretched on the carpet below my stall.

“Parents in town?” Bort asked from across the carpet.

“Uh, no. You’ve met Violet and her son Oliver at Sidney’s cookout right?” Bort nodded, and our conversation got more attention from the rest of the guys who were in the room stretching. Sid and Pauly walked in from the hall where they were doing their active stretches. “They’ll be here. I’m kinda staying with them right now.” Whoops and hollers came from a few of the guys making me shake my head. “Not like that. She’s taking care of something for me.” More perverse calls rang out before Geno spoke up from his stick taping to tell them to shut up. “I found out after practice yesterday that I have a daughter.” The room went silent. “And her mother wants nothing to do with her after five-months, so I’m a single dad now. Sid called Violet when we found out and she volunteered to help me out during playoffs. I’m staying there because it’s more convenient to her and Olly.”

I was bumrushed with questions from everyone. Duper was upset I didn’t call him and Carole-Lyne, but they have enough to worry about with their own kids. Same with Kuni. My shoulders felt lighter after letting it be known to those closest to me in Pittsburgh. Next would be telling Dan, Mario, and my family. I dreaded my parents more than what the brass could do to me.

After the game and the media scrum, I showered quickly knowing I had Violet and two kids waiting on me. When I exited the room, Olly was laughing and gushing over Geno. The four of them standing closely like a family, smiling over the win. They made a great looking family, furthering my reason she was too good for me.

I was amazed I wasn’t the only one awake by the time we got back to the house. Both kids were out cold, and Violet was nodding off as I drove us back. It was easier for me to take Olly inside because he was heavier. After getting him in his pajamas and tucked in I dipped in to take one last look at Piper for the night. Downstairs I was shocked after opening up to Violet. How could she never go out? Just the thought seems so mundane. And if she doesn’t go out, then when is the last time she...ya know.

Things started snowballing right before the Game Two loss. First, Noel called to give the results of the paternity test. No shocker, Piper is mine. Easter Sunday is when my secrecy was disrupted. Pete, my middle brother, called. His ex-girlfriend had come to the game the night before and saw me leaving with Violet. After explaining the situation he questioned how I knew I could trust Violet. We had met a little over a month ago and I was entrusting her with my daughter.

"She's good people," I told him as I watched Violet excuse herself to finish getting ready. Her background came up and when Pete was certain my best interests were covered he hung up telling me to call our mom.

"Hey sweetheart, what are you doing up early? Shouldn't you be resting up?" she answered as I walked upstairs to get dressed. Walking past Olly's room, he had his suit laid out and was watching some cartoons in his blue boxer-briefs and socks.

"I'm actually getting ready to go to church," I told her, gently shutting the door for some privacy.

"You're going to Mass. That's great honey," she praised me.

"Um, not Mass. A friend invited me to attend her Greek Orthodox service," I explained, picking out clean socks and fresh boxers.

"A friend. A girlfriend?" I could hear the hopefulness in her voice.

"Not that kind of friend, Ma. Her name's Violet. She has a five year old little boy. Met her through one of the Pens Drop In events with a few of the guys," I disclosed, waiting to hear her next response.

"A single mother? James just be careful, ok? All of you," she told me, worry dripping from her words.

"Actually, she's worth more than Sid, Geno, and myself combined. Her son's father was a Mellon. He passed away before she found out she was pregnant," I gave her the Cliff's Notes version. "She's a great person, Ma. You'll be wishing it was more when you meet her," I laughed, knowing my mother. "There's a real reason behind my call though. And you may want to sit down."

"James, you're scaring me," she told me shakily.

"It's not bad news. It's not really great news at first. But once you meet her, I know you'll think otherwise," I told her listening to a chair slide away from the kitchen table. At this point, I knew I needed back up. I needed the support of Violet as I told my mom. I quickly strode out if the room and knocked lightly on her door.

"Meet who, James?" mom asked as Violet opened the door and gave me a questioning look.

"You're sitting down right, Mom?" Recognition swept over Violet's eyes and she ushered me over to the loveseat in her room. A room I'd never been inside.

"James?" Mom asked in terror as I hit the speakerphone option.

"When you meet your granddaughter, Piper," I told her, my stomach clenched threatening to expel the light breakfast I had consumed. "I have a daughter."

"Oh James. Please tell me this is a prank," she commented, her voice thick with emotion.

"No Mom. I have an almost six month old daughter, I just found out about. Her mother basically dropped her off at my doorstep with little explanation. And before you even ask, we've had a paternity test," I told her hearing her take shaky breaths.

"Oh no. This cannot be true. James you are smarter than to just get a girl pregnant," she sobbed, sniffling into my ear. "What were you thinking? How could you be so careless?"

"It was a mistake. A huge mistake, but just five days with her and I'm ok with this mistake. Mom, she's amazing. She's so beautiful. I can't believe I helped create her," I gushed honestly.

"Did your dad not teach you about condoms? Are you always choosing not to wear one? Could there be more children out there? This is my fault. We should have better prepared you for this lifestyle." Her sentences were rushed and I'm not even sure she listened to what I had said. "I knew we needed to take a stronger stance on protection than you would receive from your Catholic schools. You're brothers and sister will definitely be getting another lecture."

"Mom, breathe," I coached her. "Dad told me to always use a condom. I normally do. Honestly, I can't remember that night too well so we may have used one and it failed. The mother, Jasmine, she didn't tell me until now. And we are in the process of her relinquishing her custodial rights." I paused hoping Mom was catching all my words. "I'm her primary guardian now. I have her one-hundred percent of the time."

"She gave her up? She doesn't want her own daughter?" Her voice was still thick with tears.

"She doesn't. I don't know if she ever did, but she tried. And now Piper is my responsibility," I told her, looking up from the phone in my hand. Violet was beside me with one hand on my left forearm, her right hand rubbed soothing circles on my back. God, she's a great nurturer.

"Her name's Piper?" Mom asked with a small voice.

"Not legally yet, but we are changing it. Don't ask what her original name was. It's horrible," I rolled my eyes. "Piper James. I thought PJ would be a cute nickname for her. Now it's all Violet's son Oliver, Olly, will call her."

"That's a good name," Mom was pleased. It wasn't until then that I realized Piper was in the room, splayed out on a blanket with a few toys. She chose to vocally announce herself with a squeal before going back to blowing spit bubbles. "Was that her?" She asked her voice warming.

"Yeah. She's lying in Violet's floor," I told her. Violet needed to finish makeup and hair so she stood to enter the bathroom. "We are staying with Violet right now. I didn't want to tell you until we had the results back, and I didn't want you to drop everything and come running. Nick and Becks needed you there."

"This Violet, she's a good friend?" I moved to take my phone off speaker and placed it back up to my ear.

"The best. Sid called her after he got to my house Tuesday. She is the only person we knew of without a toddler or multiple kids. She came over with Olly and took charge of the situation. My lawyer is a friend of hers, Noel is handling everything. She took me out to get everything needed to care for an infant. Mom, I'd be lost and a mess without her," I confessed. "She offered up her home to us and will be caring for Piper while I'm on the road these next few weeks."

"I'm coming down as soon as I can get on a flight," she told me

"I figured as much," I told her with a laugh. "I want you here too. Violet says you are welcome to stay here at her house as well. It'll just be easier," I added, crossing the room to lie down on the blanket where Piper was having some tummy time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this rehashed a few things in James' perspective. I felt it needed to be done and I didn't want it to be a dialogue of him saying it. He trusts Violet, but he's a man, he's going to internalize. This chapter skims over a few things, but rest assured, they will be handled in the next chapter.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. James' POV will pop up every few chapters to show how he's dealing with everything.
> 
> Leave me love, it is my candy.


	6. Wait For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gonna open my heart  
> Right at the scars  
> Listen up  
> Gonna do what I'm told  
> Go where I'm told  
> And listen up  
> Take a shot in the rain  
> Walk for the pain  
> And listen up

Piper had been in our lives for five days. For five days, we all would get up in the morning, I would feed the kids, James would help. He’d go to practice, I would work on Oliver’s vocabulary or basic math skills. His tests for two of the schools were Tuesday and Wednesday, we were in crunch time. Piper would be sitting in front of the television with one of Olly’s old Baby Einstein dvds. We had gone to Game Two on Saturday, and all of the guys were upset with the loss.

Early on Friday morning, Noel had called to say the paternity test results came back early; James was Piper’s father. Noel was also pushing the paperwork through the courts to get a family court judge to subpoena Jasmine to have her sign the official relinquishment of custody documents and get the name change approved. Once the custody document was signed, Jasmine would have six months to petition the courts for partial custody. 

The biggest shock came when James’ brother Peter called. It happened after the second playoff game. We had just finished eating breakfast before leaving for Easter Sunday services. My parents had invited Olly and I to attend the services, and I of course wanted to take Piper to her first Easter Sunday services. James had decided he would tag along as well. He was the only one who had something dressy enough for Easter service and brunch at my parents’. The grey suit would be paired with an navy checkered shirt and grey striped tie; he had gone to his house with Olly to pick up more clothes. Olly had helped pick his outfit, meaning he wanted to dress like James. That was until he saw Geno in a grey tweed sport coat with elbow patches the day of Game Two. Too bad, he was going to wear the grey suit he already owned with the shirt and tie to match James’. It wasn’t a perfect match, but it was undoubtedly adorable. To match her father, I had gotten Piper a navy and white striped dress. When it came time to find a dress for myself, the associate at Nordstroms had showed me few dresses to match what I had already handed over to her. At first I was against dressing to match Piper, which would in turn be matching James. But the navy fit and flare with two white stripes was gorgeous and I could wear it more than just to church. And I always matched Olly on special occasions. 

“Since when are you ok to date a woman with kids?” Peter asked. James had answered the phone on speakerphone as he helped clean up the breakfast mess. His eyes bugged out looking over at me.

“Uh, what do you mean? I’m not seeing anyone right now.” James was failing to convince me as he covered up the real answer, so his brother could see through the charade. 

“Well, my ex Laura was in Pittsburgh for Game Two, she’s been seeing Boone Jenner. Well, she messaged me asking what you were doing holding a baby girl while leaving the arena with a very pretty woman and a little boy. So, wanna rewind it and tell me the truth.” James’ shoulders fell and he looked up at the ceiling with a sigh.

“I’m not dating her. And yes, she has a son. Violet, her name is Violet. Her son is Oliver. But the little girl isn’t hers.” He paused to muster up the courage to tell brother. Peter snapped him out of a daze with a ‘well’. “She’s mine. The little girl is mine. She’s my daughter,” he told Peter, sounding very defeated. 

“What? You have a daughter? Since when?” Peter’s voice was booming through the small speaker. “When were you going to tell us? Tell Mom for that matter.”

“I found out last week. We got the paternity test results on Friday. I just want to wait until I got back in town to tell her. You can’t tell her, I’ll tell her today. Either on the way to church or after,” James rambled, his eyes wide with fear. “Pete, you cannot tell anyone else.”

“Church? They’ll let your nasty ass in a church?! And who is this Violet then? If she’s not your baby momma, or your girlfriend. Fuck buddy?” I gaped at the last part, a little offended at the thought.

“She’s a friend. The guys and I met her last month at the youth hockey thing we do. Her son was on the team. She’s friends with Sid and Geno too. More them than me really,” he explained, a small smile shot my way. I had to chuckle a little, because it was true. “Sid called her after Pauly called him to come over. You should have seen those two, Geno, and I trying to figure out what to do with a baby.”

“What makes you think you can trust her? You’ve only known her a month.” With that question, I had dipped out of the kitchen to go get the kids dressed. I didn’t need to hear why he trusted me, knowing he did was enough.

The call to Whitby was made before we even loaded up the car. James didn’t trust Pete not to blab and he knew she would want be on the first flight available to come help once she knew. His prediction was right on the money. At first, she said there must be a mistake with the test. Then she cried. Big boohoo. She blamed herself for not teaching him properly, the Catholic school he and his siblings went to for condemning use of contraception, and back to herself and his father for not teaching him the responsibilities of sex and getting him ready for the NHL lifestyle. Then she cried again before heading out to Easter Mass, needing a chat with God. James found her a seat on the afternoon Air Canada flight direct to Pittsburgh, giving her time to pack, collect herself, and then drive the hour to Pearson after Mass with no rush. 

✦✦✦✦

His composure during the Easter service at our church was stiff. I could tell it had been at least since Christmas, maybe even as far back as two Christmases since he had sat in a pew. Being at a Greek Orthodox church probably didn’t help, no matter how similar to catechism our practices were. He held Piper in his lap, letting her play with his fingers and rubber teething keys. When the priest called out, “Christos Anesti”, he looked over at me in question.

“It means ‘he has risen’,” I whispered after repeating the chant. All throughout the service I would explain to him what was being said. He sat holding Piper who was playing with Oliver while the majority of the church rose for communion. As we rose from the pews just after noon, I shook the hands of my parents’ church friends and greeted them. “Yiasou.”

“Yiasou, oh little Oliver, you are growing up so quickly,” the older woman gushed. “And who is this?” she asked, turning her attention to James and Piper.

“Betty, this is my friend James and his daughter Piper. James, this is Betty. She was one of the first people who welcomed us to the church when we moved,” I introduced them. She looked him over taking in his long, trim, muscled body. Even an older church going lady could appreciate his handsomeness. 

“Very nice to meet you James. Hope to see you both back soon,” Betty told us as she walked away, giving me a wink. A few of my mom’s church friends wanted to set me up with guys over the years. No doubt she was thinking James was a romantic interest in my life. 

The drive to my parents' was full of Oliver describing our traditional Easter meal. Lots of appetizers like Tzatziki and pita bread, feta cheese stuffed kalamata olives, Dolmathakia Yialantzi, which is stuffed grape leaves with rice and grated vegetables, tomato and cucumber salad, and sweet bread. 

"Tzatziki is so good James. It's gonna be your favorite," Oliver gushed from the back seat with such excitement. "Then we'll eat chicken and lamb with spanakopita, Greek potatoes, and couscous. Mommy will make us gyros tomorrow with leftover lamb and Tzatziki." James turned his head to look at me as I drove back into Sewickley Heights with a smile. "Oh, and for dessert GiGi makes baklava and Grampa makes homemade ice cream for baklava sundaes. And then we fry loukou-loukou-Greek donuts. They’re so good." It was always funny to hear Olly stumble over the Greek names of foods.

James' chest shook as he looked back at Oliver who was grinning like a mad man. "How Greek are you?" he asked, turning to face me as I took the exit off I-79. 

"Well, my dad is half-Greek and so is my mom. So I'm half and Olly is a quarter. I like the traditions even if I'm not a churchgoer. I still believe in the practices." I gave a shrug as I turned on to Scaife Road. "Plus, Olly's right, the food is amazing."

Pulling on to Persimmon Road and finally into the long loop driveway of my parents’ home. James let out a whistle as he took in the red brick and hand cut stone home. The home was complete with six bedrooms and baths with four additional half baths. They had even completed a first floor in-law suite for my grandma Grier, who spent the Winter months in Florida with my mom’s brother and his wife. 

We didn’t have time to get out of the car before my mom Aletha opened the stately, wooden front door and swept out to greet us, even though we had just seen her less than thirty minutes ago. She pulled the baby carrier out of James’ hands and ushered us inside while another car pulled into the drive. A sleek black Mercedes sedan I knew has Evelyn and Richard’s. When we were all standing in the two-story foyer with it’s wrapped staircase and sitting area, James and the Mellon’s were introduced as I moved to take Piper from Mom, but she shooed my hands away. 

“We need to feed her so I can help you get lunch prepared,” I told her with pursed lips. 

“Evelyn and I can handle her. You take James on a tour of the house. Richard, Greg’s out on the patio getting the grill ready for the chicken. Olly, you can come test the Tzatziki for me,” Mom ordered, shooing me again before they all went towards the back of the house leaving James and I standing. 

“Ok, I guess I’m showing you the house,” I told him, kicking my heels off by the small seating area under the staircase. “Let’s start upstairs and make our way to the basement. Mom’s really proud of the house. Why they needed so many rooms, or three living rooms and a study is beyond me.” 

Leading him up the stairs, I stopped in the doorway to each guest bedroom before walking into the grand, master suite. The master sitting area was exquisite with a soft blue sofa, ornate armchairs, and chaise all looking onto a fireplace with television mounted above. The master bath was my favorite room in the house. The large walnut cabinets reached to the ceiling, sitting on either side of the room. In the middle of the white marble floor were two dressing seats by the large soaker tub with a crystal chandelier hanging above and a double, steam shower encased in floor to ceiling glass. Making our way back down to the main floor I led him through the first sitting room, past the pool table, stopping inside the study with its dark walnut walls and cream furnishings. We stopped to grab a plate of snacks from the double island kitchen for the remaining rooms while Mom fed Piper a jar of sweet potatoes - they had become her favorite - and Evelyn cut potatoes to roast. 

In the basement, I knew I would lose James’ attention if I didn’t end in a certain room. The media room was state of the art and the resort quality gym and rec room were nice, but the room my dad called his room would trump the entire house. Opening the door, I flipped on the recessed lighting and woke the computer system. When the golf tee came up on the projector screen, James’ eyes lit up. 

“Oh my god. I’m never leaving,” he told me, his jaw slack. I was a little afraid he’d drop his plate of hummus, tzatziki and veggies.

“Ok Tin Cup, let’s go help out upstairs. Dad will bring you down after we eat. I don’t know how to work this thing,” I laughed, ushering him back out and up the stairs. After refilling his plate and getting him a glass of sweet tea, I pushed him out on the patio with the other two, simply mentioning golf before shutting the door. 

Olly was in the family room watching tv and eating a small snack while we waited for the chicken to grill, potatoes to roast, and spanakopita to heat up. I pulled out a stool from the breakfast bar island beside my mom who was baby talking to Piper as she fed her. “James seems like a nice young man,” Evelyn smirked as she sprinkled rosemary, dill, olive oil, and sea salt over the potatoes. “Too bad it wasn’t Crosby you were helping,” she snickered. 

“Sid isn’t the type to get soused, bang a coed, and get her pregnant,” I scoffed, stuffing a large bite of pita bread in my mouth. “He would probably do the second part, just not the other two. And it’s not like Sidney isn’t around. He and Geno are my friends. They are always around. If Geno wasn’t having his Russian friends over or Sid going to Mario’s, then I would have invited them over. Lord knows there is enough food to feed the entire team,” I told them, motioning to both twelve by five islands which were covered to the edges, the Viking stove on the far wall also was covered. 

“Vi, we just want you to be happy,” Mom started, eying Evelyn who nodded. I grabbed three olives and stuffed them in my mouth, trying to hold back from rolling my eyes. “You do everything for Olly, and now you are doing this. You don’t do anything for yourself.”

“You are the second person to tell me that in four days,” I grumbled, huffing at the reality of it. Both Mom and Evelyn raised their brows in question. “James told me I wasn’t taking care of myself completely. That I was able to physically do it, but I wasn’t taking care of myself mentally or doing anything for me.”

“Honey, he’s right. You don’t do anything for yourself. Take a day and go to the spa, get a pedicure, shop for something you don’t need. You know we’ll watch the kids if you need it,” Evelyn reasoned. All the options sounded amazing. My heels were getting rather disgusting and my pumice in the shower just wasn’t cutting it. 

“Maybe I’ll do something tomorrow or Tuesday. James’ mom gets in later, basically we pick her up and then drop him off at the private terminal,” I explained, glancing over to Olly who had his tie loosened and sleeves rolled up. His and James’ suit jackets were draped over the arm of a chair nearby. “I’m really nervous to meet his mom. I don’t want her to think I’m trying to weasel my way into his life. He really hasn’t talked about what she’s like at all, and I’m just really apprehensive. He’s going to be gone for four nights and she’s staying with me.”

“I’m sure everything will be fine sweetheart. She’s probably going to be really thankful he has a friend like you,” Evelyn told me as she walked to the oven to start the potatoes. 

By two o’clock we were all seated at the round dinner table by an open fireplace stuffed to the gills. James had been weary of the spanakopita at first, but ended up eating more of it than the lamb and chicken. Talk around the table was nice. It was a warm family to be a part of and James was welcomed by the two sets of parents with open arms. Olly had pulled Dad away from the table to check the ice cream he had started in the automatic ice cream maker before church while James and I took the lead to clear the table and start a load in the dishwasher. We had stacks of glass containers on one island as Mom readied the batter for loukoumades. Richard pulled James and Dad out to the patio with him for a cigar while I gave Piper a bottle for her nap. We only had a little over two hours before we had to be at the airport to pick up his mom and drop him a the private terminal. Thankfully, he had planned to go right from my parents’ to the airport. 

The two hours went by quickly. James had spent most of it on the patio or in the basement practicing his swing on legendary golf courses. He sat in the back seat of my five-year-old Mercedes SUV spending time with Piper, and subsequently Oliver too. He was torn, not wanting to leave her for the first time. When I pulled into the short-term parking, James unbuckled Piper causing Olly to unbuckle his as well. “Ol, stay put. We aren’t going in,” I told him, glancing at his reflection in the rearview mirror.

“What? Why? Come inside and meet Mom,” James spoke up, half out the rear passenger door. Olly was out of the door and ran around to the other side taking James’ free hand. They waited for me before taking the walk way into baggage claim. We had ten minutes before her flight landed according to the flight boards. Standing out of the way with his back to the small crowds, James was talking to Piper and kissing her cheeks. Olly had his hand tucked in the front pocket of James’ slacks. It was an intimate move and I wasn’t really sure how to take it. The ten minute estimated time of arrival was cut to five, and the plane was pulling into the gate. 

We moved to stand close to where the arrivals would depart the terminal to pick up their baggage. A few families filtered through and a blonde head popped around a man in a suit. Her lips pulled into a smile when she saw her tall son and her eyes darted to the little girl in his arms, who was pulling on his shirt collar. She pushed her way through and quickly dropped her carry-on at his feet. Arms wrapped around the two Neals and squeezed them tightly. When she pulled away she cupped Piper’s face in her delicate hands before noticing Olly still holding on to James’ pocket and myself. 

“Mom, this is Oliver and Violet. Vi, Olly, this is my mom Deb,” James told her before Olly acted bashful hiding his face in James’ jacket before moving quickly to hide behind my legs, his small hands wrapped just above my knee. Piper watched him, thinking he was playing peek-a-boo and squealed. “And this is Piper.” We all politely greeted each other, and Deb took Piper in her arms to gush over the little girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♠ ♠ ♠  
> And Deb has arrived.... cue some Hitchcock theatrical score. How's this going to play out? Obviously, Violet is really worried, and Olly is shy for the first time.
> 
> I had to mention all my favorite Greek foods in the story. I was missing Charlotte's Yiasou festival when I wrote this chapter. ('Yiasou' is 'hello' in Greece. And doesn't translate to 'hello', it's just said. haha)
> 
> Again, leave me some love, I need to finish chapter 13 and can't get the inspiration.
> 
> -S


	7. The One Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every morning when you wake up  
> I wanna hold you  
> I just need to be wrapped around you  
> It's kinda funny when you think that  
> You just got here  
> Now I know I can't live without you
> 
> I can't explain the way it feels  
> I could choke on my own words  
> Sometimes it seems like it ain't real  
> But you're really here, my love  
> Yeah, you're really here, my love

It wasn’t an hour later, and I was pulling into the driveway of the house, carefully watching Deb out the corner of my right eye for a reaction. What had James told her when he called to let her know when her flight was and that she would stay with me? Had he told her anything about my past? Her brow rose for an instant, recovering quickly. I told her she could get Piper and I would handle her bags. Olly had her carry-on and purse while I tugged her pull-along out of the back and grabbed the diaper bag. Leading her in through the side mud room and kitchen, I pointed out where certain things were before taking her upstairs to the room I had dubbed as Piper’s. All the rooms in the house were large. Olly’s room was the third largest, and James’s was actually bigger than the master. 

Sitting her luggage down at the end of the bed, I pointed out most of the drawers were empty, and the closet only held a few of Piper’s things. “Make yourself at home, really. The pack n’ play can be moved into the room James’ has set up camp in if you don’t want her in here. We put her by herself since he likes to have the television on.”

“She just has a pack n’ play? No crib?” Deb asked, looking at the foldable crib.

“We weren’t sure how long he would be staying here. It all kinda hinged on how long you were staying. If you decided to stay through the end of their playoff run, then you all would go back to his house. If it was only going to be a temporary visit, then they would stay here. We really didn’t have time to pick out furniture for her,” I confessed, hoping she understood. “I really had no clue how busy he was going to stay when the playoffs started. I told him if you could only stay for a week or two, that they should just plan on staying here until he headed back to Toronto to train.”

“I see. I can only stay a week this time, Becka still has school and just in case they make it to conference finals and Finals. So maybe we should go look at a crib for her this week? She’s going to need one no matter what. Has she started rolling over yet? This can’t be too safe when she does,” Deb added, pointing out the raised platform of the pack n’ play.

“It actually lowers, this is just until she does start rolling. Which won’t be long because she’s been rocking back and forth trying.” Deb was nice. As long as we kept talking like this, I felt comfortable around her. “Are you hungry? Did you eat before you left Toronto? My mom sent a week's worth of leftovers. Do you like Greek food? I could heat you up a plate. Piper will be hungry for some fruit and veggies. Olly too.”

“I could eat something and feed her,” Deb agreed, smiling at the bundle in her arms. 

It was all I needed to usher her back to the kitchen to grab the jars of food for Piper before running out to start carrying all the food. My mom really had a way with over cooking, but when the leftovers were so good, I couldn’t fault her for it. Once I had three plates of food heated, I called for Olly who was lounging in the family room watching one of the other playoff games, still in his suit pants and button up. He refused to change out of it when he knew James was staying in his suit until he got on the plane for Columbus. 

Olly sat directly across from Deb who was taking turns feeding herself and Piper. He was asking her questions like ‘you're James’ mommy?’ and ‘did you make James eat vegetables he didn’t like? Is that really how he got big and strong?’ I just stayed as silent as possible, chuckling under my breath as I looked over a few food processors and steamers, so I would be able to make Piper some fresh pureed veggies and fruits. No preservatives and organic, I had done it for Olly and it really was better for them. 

“Violet, do you have plans tomorrow?” Deb asked after she finished feeding Piper. “This lamb is really good. Tell your mother she is an amazing cook.”

“Thanks, she doesn’t need to hear it though. She’s very well aware,” I told her with a laugh, looking up from my laptop. “And no I don’t have plans until around game time. A few of the girls are coming over to have a little watch party. Vero, Carol-Lyne, and I think Catherine, maybe more. I hope that’s ok. I can tell them we need to reschedule our get together if you don’t want a big crowd around. We just planned it before Pete called James.”

“Oh, no that’s more than fine. Those are the good one’s to be around,” she told me with a wink. “I wanted to know if you wanted to go help pick out a crib?”

“Oh, yeah,” I agreed with a nod. “I actually was thinking of getting some things to make her fresh baby food. And to be completely honest, I was thinking about it two nights ago to get her a crib while he’s gone. I have a few favorites if you want to see them,” I laughed, pulling up the bookmarked cribs. They were all grey. Grey just went so well with purple and after watching James' episode of NHL36, I think the world knows how much James’ likes purple. 

We sat looking at four grey cribs and bedding for thirty minutes before Piper started nodding off in the old ratty highchair. “I think it’s time to bath Little Miss before she passes out.”

Oliver bathed quickly, and crawled into bed before eight-pm. Deb took her time with Piper, splashing and playing. Using the time to my advantage, I went down and kept looking at bedding for the crib we were going to pick up tomorrow. Chevron and geometric prints seemed like a good fit, not too girly, but in purple and grey. That was until I came across a penguin print blanket with a blue chevron backing. Baby blue goes with lilac purple right? Gotta have something penguin. Looking at the linens had sidetracked me from one of my reasons to come downstairs - make a bedtime bottle for Piper. 

Deb was down the stairs before I had the bottle heated. Once it was ready, I ushered her into the more comfortable family room sofa. She asked about Piper and Olly. I told her about my family, and how I lost Ezra. Then she finally asked about James. 

“How is he handling all of this?” she asked, looking down at the little girl holding her finger and bottle. 

“He had a freak out the first day, clammed up for about six hours while we picked up the things we would need. It was when he actually had to think about her being his. I don’t know how we missed it. She has the same eyes,” I told her, watching Piper’s eyes flutter shut. “He’s really taken to her in the last four days. He kept going on last night about how he didn’t want to leave her. I was certain today he would try to talk the team into letting him take her.”

“We could drive down for the games, it’s not that far,” Deb offered. 

“You could, Olly and I can’t. He has two entrance tests for schools this week. One Tuesday and another on Wednesday. We’ve been working to prep him for six months.” I watched her nod and cuddle Piper closer to her as Piper fell asleep still nursing the bottle. “And of course we hope they can finish the games off on Saturday.” We didn’t have time to continue the conversation because Deb’s phone rang from her cardigan pocket. It was James. At that point, I made myself scarce. The plates from dinner were still in the sink, and I had become accustomed to keeping the sink clear of all dishes. I was making myself busy, and I was sure she knew exactly what I was doing as I wiped down the table and peninsula.

“Violet,” Deb called as she walked into the room. “James wants to talk to you,” she had a smile on her face as she carried Piper. I dried my hands off on the yoga pants I had changed into before taking her phone. She walked out of the room before I greeted him.

“Hey, how’s C'bus?” I asked, leaning back against the granite countertop.

“It’s Ohio, how do you think it is,” he laughed. One thing we had bonded over was our general distaste for Ohio as a whole; I had more experience with the Buckeye state than he had. “Are you and Mom getting along?”

“You know we are,” I laughed slightly. “She’s really sweet. She’s also worried about you.”

“Yeah, but can you blame her?”

“Not at all. I’ve been worried about you too. You can only take so much before you break. I’m just hoping it’s not while you’re on the ice and that you talk it out, not bottle it up,” I told him, listening to the faint sounds of Deb moving around upstairs. “You know what I’m talking about Mr. Five-Thousand-Dollar-Fine.”

“Don’t remind me,” he scoffed. Over the last two years, Sidney has said James’ on ice temper had gotten increasingly worse. I had seen it as a fan during the 2012 playoffs, this past December when he kneed Brad Marchand, and then the last was a five-thousand-dollar fine days before my birthday. Sid had also said, those weren’t the first suspensions and fines; he had a suspension, fine, and a few warnings while in Dallas. With so much change in his life right now, I just hoped his temper would stay in check.

The team had an early optional practice before the game, on top of what Deb and I had planned, I ended the call early. Deb was lying down on the guest bed, cuddling Piper as she slept. One little knock on the door and I set her phone down on the nightstand. I couldn’t help, but to reach out and touch Piper’s pajama clad foot before leaving the room for my own. 

When I woke up on my own and not to a crying, babbling baby or by Olly jumping on my bed, I panicked. Knocking my glasses off the nightstand in a fumbling move to grab them, I let out a curse before delicately placing my feet on the ground as not to step on them. It wasn’t until I got to the balcony on my way to the rooms on the other side of the house from the master bedroom, that I remembered Deb was here. She let me sleep in. 

The smell wafting from the kitchen was scrumptious. I smelled cinnamon and maple. At the breakfast bar Oliver was cutting into a stack of French toast, while Piper watched from the ratty highchair, which would be getting replaced today. We had an hour before the stores would open, and it looked like Deb had taken the initiative with the kids today. I only was on the receiving end of help like this a few times a year. 

Once Deb had finished breakfast and told me to sit with my cup of coffee and plate with two pieces of French toast and turkey sausage, she sat to feed herself and Piper. I had to urge her out of the kitchen to get ready for our shopping trip. Piper was content in the highchair chewing away on Sophie the Giraffe. The way she was gumming the rubber toy, I knew it was only time before she started really teething.

The day went by quickly. We made stops back at USA Baby, Pottery Barn Kids, Babies R Us, and Target. Lots of Starbucks was needed as well as a quick lunch at Panera. We ended up with the back of my SUV full and Pottery Barn was delivering the crib the next day. The grey crib was gorgeous and the simple grey and purple medallion bedding went perfectly. Deb had wanted to buy more things, but I had to admit there would be packages arriving the next morning as well. I had gone crazy on buybuybaby.com buying every stuffed WubbaNub pacifier, teething toys, funny bibs - one was even a Steelers bib, and a couple outfits. Nothing trumped the online shopping I did at Gymboree, Baby Gap, and J.Crew. J.Crew happened because Olly needed a few outfits and then I couldn’t stop myself. Both kids would be well dressed under my watch. 

After running into Whole Foods for a few days worth of veggies, avocados for guac, salsa, chips, and a few other things from the prepared food section, we toted everything into the house leaving us only thirty minutes until the others arrived. Olly took it upon himself to feed Piper. I don’t call him my little man for nothing. Between working together to heat up the food, make guac, and start Piper’s new things in the wash, Deb and I made a good team. 

Oliver hadn’t made it through the day without gaining a two new sets of sheets, new Lego set, and a Captain America dress up set; he was happy as a clam. He was excited to play with Kody and the girls when everyone arrived. As soon as he had a lamb sandwich in him, he ran around the house making sure all of his ‘cool’ toys were in the downstairs media room. It was the largest room in the house, and was home to the largest television. 

Right on queue, the ladies all showed up each with food for what was now becoming a buffet. Carol-Lyne arrived first and while the bigger kids started running around she kept three-year-old Lola close to her. “So how are things going with Deb here?” she asked almost as soon as Deb took Piper upstairs for a diaper change.

“Really well. I’m kind of surprised,” I confessed, hearing another car pulling up out front. “She seems to trust me because James and the guys do. We talked last night about Ezra and Olly. And today when we went shopping it was really nice.” A knock on the door had us walking back toward the front door to let both Vero and Catherine in with Estelle and Alexander as Deb came back down the stairs with Piper. 

In all honestly, throughout the game we barely paid attention. It didn’t help that going into the third, they were behind. The only thing snapping us back into watching was James getting called for boarding on a weird call, sending him to the box. The third got us back into the game instead of talking about kids, how Deb felt to be a grandma, and then onto the house and Ezra. I didn’t mind talking about him. It was nice to remember him, to tell stories no one in the room, but myself knew. 

“He was the love of your life?” Catherine asked, watching Alexander play with Kody and Olly. The three of them were playing with all sorts of action figures, the young Alexander not really grasping the full extent of the play, but loving the interaction with the two older boys. 

“I thought he was,” I smiled, watching the same scene play out. “But then nine months after losing him, I met the love of my life. Nothing can beat the love I have for him,” I added, my heart swelling as I remembered holding Oliver for the first time. “But, yeah, I still think Ezra was my great romantic love.”

“Don’t you believe in multiple sole mates? That there is more than one person out there for you?” Deb spoke up, training her eyes off the game over towards me. “You’ve found one of them, who’s to say you won’t find another?”

“I used to think so, but I don’t know if I deserve another love. I had Ezra, and now I have Olly,” I confessed, shrugging my shoulders. 

“You deserve it,” Vero spoke up. “Over the last week, you have proved you deserve it more than anyone.”

Everyone grew quiet as the third period started and the guys started playing better hockey. With five to go in the game, they were winning. The Bluejackets were getting under the guys skin. And by guys, I meant James. He was mouthing off and the ref had to escort him back to the bench to diffuse any type of situation James’ mouth would get him into. After time of play ran out, most of the kids were asleep or well on their way to dozing off to dreamland. 

Deb had given Piper a bath during the first intermission and fed her a bottle in the second period. First twenty-four hours as a grandma was good to her. First twenty-four hours of being away from his daugher was not going well for James. He had told the coaches and Mario on the plane ride to Columbus. They were going to release a statement to announce James’ custody of Piper on Thursday when the guys were back in town. A plan was being devised and a decision on how to it would be announced would be made on Wednesday. 

Once everyone had cleared out and I was cleaning up the kitchen, James called from the hotel. “You can’t let them draw out a penalty, or worse another fine or suspension. You are smarter than that James,” I heard Deb tell him from the family room. “I know they say some nasty stuff, but they are trying to get under your skin to get you off the ice. It’s not going to help anything to fight them. No more dirty hits. Play smart.” She wasn’t afraid to tell him like it is. He needed that, especially after this year. 

“We had a really nice day. We all went shopping, and Vero, Carol-Lyne, and Catherine came over with the kids to watch the game.” She paused and I could hear her footsteps walking into the kitchen as I finished wiping down the counter and starting the dishwasher. “We went shopping for more things for Piper. She needed a few things so we went to get them. Don’t worry about it.” She rolled her eyes at me dramatically. “No Piper is asleep, you can’t talk to her. We’ll FaceTime tomorrow and you can see her.” Her face softened as she listened to him. “Yes, Violet’s right here.” She held the phone out to me. “He wants to talk to you. I’m going to get ready for bed. The deliveries will be here early.”

I nodded before putting the phone to my ear. “Hey, good game.” I heard him shoot air through his teeth and past his lips in a ‘pfft’. 

“It was a good third period. Heard you had the ladies over.” I could picture him lounged back on the bed. Had he changed out of his suit yet into his lacrosse shorts or was he wrinkling the Italian silk suit he had taken with him?

“Yes, you knew that,” I told him, wondering why he wanted to talk to me if he was just trying to small talk me.

“How were things with my mom today?”

“It went really well. She’s a really nice lady and she’s loving being a grandma. She let me sleep in and fixed French toast for breakfast. Can we keep her?” I joked, pulling my hair loose from it’s hair tie. “Seriously though, you have a great mom.”

“You do too. I didn’t get to tell you how great yesterday was. I want one of those golf simulators.” His chuckle resonated through the phone. 

“You have the open rooms available. Granted, one needs to be Piper’s,” I told him.

“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that,” he started. “I think I want to start looking for a bigger house.” I questioned him ‘why’. “Well I want to really have a home for her to grow up in. Her own room, a playroom, rec room. Kinda like yours or Geno’s. You were right, my house isn’t really kid friendly.”

“Alright. That’s a big step.” 

✦✦✦✦

My nerves for Oliver’s exams over the next two days were killing me. Adding to the fact most of my friends extended the series to a Game 6 by coming back into Pittsburgh tied two-two, my nerves were completely shot. This left me sitting at the peninsula in the kitchen with a cup of tea after midnight on Wednesday. Peppermint tea was supposed to relax muscles, thus relaxing the brain and allowing for sleep. Yet, I was on my second cup and my thoughts were still spinning. 

I was still sitting, staring into space, when James walked up the steps from the basement garage. “Why are you still up?” he asked, dropping his bag by the door. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” I mumbled, pushing my glasses up my nose. He walked around the counter and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. “Piper’s teething.”

“Really? That’s a good thing right?” he asked, resting his chin on my head. We never did more than a brief hug. This was more intimate, but I guess over the last week we had gotten closer. 

“Yeah, but she’s really cranky. Your mom finally got her to sleep. It’s like two white caps just popped up in 24hrs. It’s only going to get worse,” I told him with a sigh.

“Are you sure you still want to do this? If it’s too much, I can ask mom to stay, we can go back to my place,” he offered, giving me a squeeze.

“No, that’s not what I meant. I want to help. I’m kinda already attached to her. The last two days have just been tough,” I shook my head, leaning into his frame. “It’ll be easier once I find out where Olly’s going to school next year.”

“When will the schools say something?” he asked, moving his arms and gripping my shoulders, feeling the tense muscles under the skin. He rolled his thumbs over my neck, finding a large knot. “Maybe you should try a hot bath,” he recommended, pushing to try to break up the bundle of muscle.

“We should know something by Friday. Maybe as early as tomorrow. Sewickley Academy should be first to let me know how he did on the exam. I hope it was enough, it’s the closest and undoubtedly one of the top two schools in Pittsburgh. If he doesn't get in there, I have to drive further to drop him off and pick him up daily,” I explained, letting my head lull forward as he worked the stiff muscles. “That feels really good. You have good hands,” I murmured, exhaling and trying to relax a little more. 

“So I've been told,” he said in a teasing tone. 

“Ugh,” I groaned, shaking him off of me. “And you had to make it weird, perv.”

“I simply made a comment, you took it to the gutter, pervert,” he laughed. “Go take a hot bath, that should put you to sleep.” He was right, it did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how many people are reading this, and I may take this down here. For those who do read, thank you. I'm going to put together a playlist of the songs either mentioned in the story or used as titles.


	8. You've Got A Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olly finds a new BFF.
> 
> You've got a way with me  
> Somehow you got me to believe  
> In everything that I could be  
> I've gotta say-you really got a way  
> You've got a way it seems  
> You gave me faith to find my dreams  
> You'll never know just what that means  
> Can't you see... you got a way with me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been two weeks and I'm sorry.

Oliver was accepted to the Sewickley Academy. I've never been more relieved. Knowing with certainty he would have one of the top educations in Pittsburgh elated me as a mother. It allowed me to really have fun with his developmental lessons. 

Piper was another story. The poor girl had two teeth coming in that we could see, and I was sure the top front two were soon to follow the bottoms two. Her cheeks stayed a feverish blush and her discomfort was made clear. The happy girl from the first week had turned into a crying mess who refused to sleep or eat, while drooling on everything. 

Prior to Game 5, the Penguins organization and James himself released a statement regarding Piper:

"It is with great joy we welcome a new member to the Penguins family. On October 24th, 2013, Piper Neal was born and her father has recently been awarded full-custody after learning of the birth. This is an extremely sensitive family matter. Both James, his family, and the Penguins organization ask for privacy while he gets to know his daughter and learns what it takes to be a father. We thank you in advance for these considerations."

At the same time the press release went out, James had me snap a photo of the two together so he could post it on his Twitter with a caption of "Last week, this baby girl came into my life. Meet Piper James Neal, my beautiful daughter." The photo was cute and thankfully we were able to catch her during a cheerful time. After the game, reporters asked general questions to which James tried to answer before steering it back to the looming Game 6 in Columbus. Everyone had questions as to why it took 6 months for him to meet and announce the birth of his daughter, and some gossip blogs on Tumblr called him out for his whorish ways. 

It was a bad decision Deb and I had made to google "James Neal Daughter". So many "fans" had their opinion on the matter. A few used it as a jumping board to talk about his one-night stands and shady past. It was nothing his mother nor I needed to read. 

“I blame myself,” Deb spoke out as we sat huddled around my laptop. “I failed to teach them how to handle this life.”

“What? No, you cannot blame yourself,” I told her, turning my attention away from the website on the screen. “You could never know something like this would happen. Or that he would become so famous. That fan girls would track his every move,” I told her, motioning to the screen. “It was the dream he would become a famous hockey player. Some dreams don’t come true, he was really luck his did. Look at Mike and Pete, they are still trying to make it. And from what James has told me, it wasn’t exactly like this in Texas. You raised a great son. He’s not perfect, but who is.” I paused for emphasis. “And I see the way you look at Piper, would you really give that up now to have the ‘perfect’ son? I really don’t think you would.” She looked at me through teary eyes and pulled me into a tight hug.

At midnight on Monday after they clenched second round playoff berth, James came waltzing in with a smile while I stood in the kitchen, trying to comfort Piper who was wailing in pain. We had tried everything safe for an infant. Baby orajel worked for a few minutes until she drooled it all away. Sofia the Giraffe had seen better days. The newer toys picked up over the weekend weren't helping this late at night. She was tired and in pain. Not a great combination. 

"Bad night?" he asked, setting down his travel bag. 

"Ya think," I answered sarcastically, bouncing the littled girl in my arms. He walked over to take her from my arms, and she leaned into his embrace, crying into his polo. "I just gave her some Tylenol, it should kick in soon."

"I can't imagine what it feels like to have your mouth hurting this young," he mentioned, rubbing her back as she twisted a hand into the polo's lapels. "I remember what it felt like as a teen having braces, but to be a baby."

"Tell me about it. I had braces too, and my mom always thought I was exaggerating," I agreed, with a smile. "Good game, by the way."

"Yeah, few days off before we play again. Maybe we can do something once mom leaves and before Dad and Nick get here. Then Becks will be here to go to prom. I know I promised you a night out, but maybe the four of us can go out to eat, shopping or something," he asked, swaying back and forth. "I need to repay you for all the stuff you bought. That crib was expensive."

"Don't worry about it," I shrugged, pushing the hair back off my forehead. “So Becka and Mario’s son are dating? That’s gotta be a little odd. I told your mom I could do her hair and makeup for the dance.” I paused letting him nod. "Speaking of your mom, she's in your room tonight. She was up with Pipe last night."

"This has been going on for two nights?" he asked, to which I nodded. "Aw, Daddy's Little PJ really doesn't feel good," he told her, holding her tight against his chest. She really was turning into quite the Daddy's girl. The bond was there and he rarely had to try to calm her, it just happened. Tonight though, I could tell she was feeling the Tylenol kicking in as she chewed on a toy. 

“She hasn’t really eaten much today. I’ll make her a bottle. Why don’t you take her up to the room and get ready for bed. You want anything?” I asked, getting a bottle out to fill. He shook his head and cuddled Piper closer to him.

Deb was leaving the next day, only to come back with Rebecca in a little over a week. It seemed James’ little sister was dating his boss’ son. Deb had shared a few photos of the pair with me and they were an adorable little couple. Soon most of the Neal’s minus Mike and Pete would be in my house. I wasn’t really sure where they were all going to sleep. Sure there was the garage apartment, but I felt weird putting them up out there. 

After dropping Deb off at the airport, James drove us over to the Ross Park Mall. He was in the market for a few things and he wanted to spend the day with the three of us. I had stopped at the jewelry counter in Nordstrom for a gift for Mother’s day. 

“Is this for you or...?” the twenty something sales associate asked as she showed me a bracelet. My mom had noticed James’ David Yurman bracelet and raved about it’s simplistic beauty. It was really nice.

“No, for my mom. I’ll take this one, the cable bangle, and you carry the Alex and Ani bangles right?” I paused for her to answer. “Ok, two of the grandma bangles,” I told her with a smile while Piper gurgled and laughed from her stroller. “No, three of the Alex and Ani bangles. All grandmother.” Deb’s first Mother’s Day as Nana would be memorable. 

I was signing the signature pad when I heard the sales associate gasp. “Oh my, that’s James Neal,” she whispered. I glanced over my shoulder to see him approaching with a few bags holding Oliver’s hand. Oliver was now dressed in black skinny jeans, a t-shirt which read “Heinz: I put ketchup on my ketchup”, a jean jacket with the sleeves rolled, red Chuck Taylors, and a floppy beanie.

“What did you do to my son?” I asked amused with the choice. 

“Do you like my new outfit Momma?” Olly asked, running and leaving James in his dust. 

“Do you look all hip? How can you be my son?” I asked, messing the beanie up on his head. 

“Here you go Ms. Boyle,” the associate announced walking around the counter to hand me the bag. She gave me a shy smile before glancing in James’ direction. 

“Oo, what’d you buy?” James asked, nodding towards the bag as he hung his bags on the stroller. 

“My mom a mother’s day gift, and all three of the grandma’s a little gift,” I told him with a shrug. “Lets get out of here,” I nodded towards the exit. 

“James got me some really cool shirts,” Olly gushed as he gripped my hand. 

“Did he now,” I quipped as we walked away from the counter. 

“Isn’t my outfit cool?” he asked, popping the collar of his jacket.

“Yeah, it’s super cool,” I laughed, glancing beside me as James beamed with joy. He was proud of himself for making Olly’s day. 

“You got my mom a Mother’s day gift?” James asked as we paused at the shoe department. 

“Just a little bangle. It was only like thirty-five bucks. And it will be from Piper,” I told him as I picked up a Tory Burch leopard print loafer.

“Can I get that for you in your size?” a nice dressed gentleman asked as he slid up to the table.

Before I could get out a ‘no’, James spoke up and told the man to bring it and the black with gold ballet flat in a nine. He just smile great big and shrugged again. As soon as he saw they fit he announced, “We’ll take them.” He slipped the man his credit card as I protested. “Would you hush, I owe you more than two pairs of shoes.”

Three days off between rounds was welcomed. The next two days were spent lounging around the house and preparing for the youngest and oldest Neal men to join the party in Pittsburgh. They flew in the evening on the thirtieth and we all went out for a nice dinner at one of James’ favorite steakhouses downtown. 

Peter had taken to his grand-daughter just as quickly, if not more than, Deb had. He had her laughing all through dinner, only putting her down long enough to cut his steak then went back to holding her as he ate one handed. Nick was a hit with Olly. The two made faces at each other from across the table and joked back and forth. As soon as we got back to the house, Piper was asleep for the night, but Oliver was wired. He and Nick tore off down the stairs to the basement to play some video game. Nick would be sleeping down on that sofa during his stay.

Before we all turned in for the night, James, Peter, and I sat in the family room watching the Bruins fall to the Canadiens in double overtime while talking. Peter was a very jovial man. He and Deb both had warm, funny personalities and I could see how they paired up to create five children. 

“Jame says you’ll be up in the suite with Vero and Duper’s wife Saturday night?" Peter asked as James grabbed them both a bottle of water to chase the beers they had just finished. 

“Yeah, Olly’s pretty attached at the hip to Kody Dupuis and it’s easier with Piper. She normally falls asleep during the second period and is back up at the end of the game for a bottle. It’s a little more quiet and keeps her shielded,” I told him our reasons. James loved having Piper at the games even if he knew she wouldn’t remember. “I have a feeling Olly’s going to ask to sit with you and Nick though,” I laughed as a joyful squeal echoed up the stairs followed by a ‘yes’. James stopped his walk back to the sofa to shake his head and laugh. 

“Those two are going to be worse than Geno and Olly,” he commented, handing a water to his dad. “You should see Olly and Geno. Olly will climb G and wrestle him to the ground,” he explained. “They are comical.”

“I really think Geno is Olly’s best friend,” I laughed as Olly came stomping up the stairs. “Hey, Piper is asleep, walk softly.”

“Mommy,” Olly looked at me with big, electric blue eyes. “Can Nick stay in my room?” he asked so gently.

“You want Nick to stay with you? Are you sure he wants to share with you? He’s got a few years on you, Bub,” I asked, quirking an eyebrow and looking from him over to the Neal men. Nick came up the stairs more quietly than Oliver had. 

“He said he would, as long as you said it was ok,” Olly asked, bouncing up and down with excitement. I glanced over at Nick who told me it was ok. 

"Alright. But you need to start getting ready for bed mister," I told him, playfully smacking his rear. Olly quickly ran over and grabbed Nick's hand and pulled him to the stairs talking a mile a minute. "Quiet please. Piper is sleeping."

"Ok, we can't wake PJ," Olly said softly from halfway up the staircase. 

"I think Olly found a new best friend," Peter laughed.

"Why can't he like me as much as he likes Geno and Nick? I take him to skate and let him beat me at Mario Kart," James pouted as he watched the spot where Olly had disappeared. 

"You let him win, do ya? What was that yesterday about him being crazy good, then?" I asked pointedly. The look I received in return was enough to make me chuckle loudly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe I let this go for two weeks without an update. Life hit hard. I also may have had a personal meltdown. 
> 
> I'm going to get back into the swing of things. I promise. Inspire me.


	9. Settlin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I ain't settling for just getting by  
> I've had enough so so for the rest of my life  
> Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high  
> Just enough ain't enough this time  
> I ain't settling for anything less than everything, yeah
> 
> With some good red wine and my brand new shoes  
> Gonna dance a blue streak around my living room  
> Take a chance on love and try how it feels  
> With my heart wide open now you know I will  
> Find what it means to be the girl  
> Who changed her mind and changed her world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters before the weekend. Ways I'm working to say I'm sorry.

Coming back into Pittsburgh, we had a three-one series lead. We only needed to win one more game. I know when I get back to Violet’s, the house is going to be packed. Mom and Becks got into town right before the game tonight. The team jet was touching down right before two AM on what is now Thursday morning. I wouldn’t fall into bed until almost three, and Piper would be up before eight. This guy was not looking forward to only five hours sleep. 

Playoffs weren’t going so well for me. I had two goals, one in each series so far, and was thankful enough to have two assists this series, but more than a few of us weren’t playing well. Geno is the only one. If we can just close out this series and move forward to the Eastern Conference Final, then I think we can pull it together enough to make it to the Cup Final. 

I’m not sure where Becks is sleeping, so I try to be as quiet as possible as I pull into the drive and enter the house. Over the past three days in New York, Nick and Olly had bonded even more, sending multiple photos of the two of them. This makes me have no doubt he’s still camped out in Oliver’s room. Sitting my suitcase down by the door, I slip my shoes off and grab another Gatorade from the fridge. There’s a light on in the family room, so I peek over the back of the couch and there is Violet asleep with a book.

“Hey, Vi. Wake up and go to bed,” I whisper gently, shaking her shoulder. She turned and woke slightly, eyelids fluttering. “Hey, go to bed sleepy head.”

“Hmm, I’m sleeping here tonight. Rebecca is in your room. You can take my bed,” she grumbled, grabbing her phone to check the time. “You need a bed more than I do tonight. Tomorrow, your mom and I are going to go get a Aerobed for the office for Becka.” 

“Are you sure?” I asked, leaning further over the back of the couch. 

“I’m positive,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Are you hungry? Do you want me to fix you something? I got some vanilla Greek yogurt. I could make you a bowl of fruit, granola, and yogurt.”

“I can fix it if I want something. Go back to sleep, it’s late,” I chuckled, grabbing her book to mark her place before placing it on the end table. “Quit mothering me. Mom’s here to do that,” I joked as I pulled the throw blanket she had kicked off up, pretending to tuck her in. 

“Ok Dad, go wind down. Your sister is excited to see you,” she told me, reaching up to turn off the light. “Oh, there’s some of the almond butter packets, string cheese, and that good organic beef jerky. Nick went crazy at Whole Foods. And I got more of those KIND bars you demolished of mine. You’re welcome.”

As I backpedaled towards the kitchen, I couldn’t help but thank my lucky stars for a friend like Violet. Everything was easy to find in the pantry and fridge. I untucked my polo and used it as a pouch to cart my goodies up to Violet’s room. Laid out on the bed was a clean set of jersey shorts and a tshirt. No doubt it was Vi. It could have been my mom’s doing, but with Piper, Nick, and Becks here, she probably left somethings to just happen. No, this was something Violet did when she decided to switch the rooms around for the night. She even turned down the bed, leaving the far light on to tell me which side of the bed to sleep on - not hers. The TV remote was on the nightstand waiting for me to switch it on. 

After quickly switching out of my dress pants and polo, I ventured into her bathroom for the first time ever. There were his and hers sinks, a deep soaker tub, and a white marble steam shower. Had I know she had a steam shower, I would have weaseled my way into using it more than a few times. I could easily see which side to the bath she used, her products placed neatly on a mirrored tray and in a wicker basket. On the opposite side she had my toothbrush, face wash, and shower stuff laid out for the off chance I felt like showering. After seeing her shower, I was going to make use of it in the morning. Tonight, I just wanted to wash my face and go snack on my loot from the pantry. 

I couldn’t be sure when I fell asleep, but I woke up to the television playing low, my arms wrapped around a pillow that smelled of lavender, rosemary, and mint. My mom used lavender fabric softener, just like Violet, but the other two I knew from a few of the guys liking this one expensive shampoo. A giggle threw me off as I contemplated the aromas currently smushed into my face. That’s when I felt a small hand tickle the bottom of my foot which stuck out from under the duvet and top sheet. My reflexes kicked in and I jerked my leg away from the little hand. 

“Olly, what are you doing?” I asked, sleep still coating my voice. 

“Waking you up,” he said innocently and giggled again. 

“What time is it?” I asked, rolling to my back as he jumped up on the bed beside me.

“Almost eleven,” he replied, climbing right on top of me. “Nana Deb says it’s time for you to get up. She made French toast and bacon.” Nana Deb? When did this happen?

“Ok, I’m awake. Did you leave me any?” I asked, tickling his sides. “Knowing you, she had to fry five pounds of bacon.” His giggles echoed off the walls as I tossed him back on the other, unslept on, side of the bed. Our tickle-wrestling match went of for a few more moments before my stomach got the best of me. 

The day was spent lazily around the house for the most part. A call, right as the ladies were getting ready to go out and get an air mattress for Becka, announced that Pete was leaving Tennessee and needed picked up at one. The house was becoming packed to the gills, but Violet simply shrugged it off letting Becka know she could crash in her room on an air mattress and Pete would take the media room. 

Dad and Olly ended up running to the airport while Nick and I moved things around to accommodate the extra guest. It was worrying how long Mom, Becka, Violet, and Piper were out shopping. Once Dad was back from the airport, Olly bent our arms to go down to the pond with fishing poles. He wasn’t too good at casting, just dropped the line straight down off the retaining wall before locking the reel. The amazement in his eyes as the rest of us cast out towards the middle of the pond. I was getting ready to have him hold my rod, when Dad beat me to it. Olly was wide eyed as Dad handed him the short, little Zebco Thirty-Three back making sure not to cross lines. 

A few times we had to grab him by the back of his shirt to keep him from falling into the pond, but overall, we had a good time before Mom yelled from the back patio they they were back. Pete was more than animated when he walked in to see Becka and Violet dancing around the kitchen with Piper to Footloose. His eyes gravitated to the swing of Violet’s hips, and rightly so. My own eyes lingered only snapping away when Olly ran up to them, Becka grabbed his hands and they began dancing together. 

Piper was laughing and full of smiles as Violet twisted and turned with her. I leaned against the peninsula and watched them. When Pete slid up behind Mom, wiggling her back and forth while she chopped up a salad I couldn’t help but laugh and shake my head. Violet heard my chuckle and spun around with Piper, dancing my way. 

“Your daddy thinks we’re funny, Piper,” she cooed at my bright eyed little girl. “Tell him you want to dance with him. Get ‘em,” she added, leaning her over into me playfully. We did this a few times before Piper reached for me and I was pulled into the fun going on in the kitchen. 

“Nana Deb, dance with me!” Olly squealed, spinning away from Becka. Violet took over chopping the salad. The song ended and Mom opened the refrigerator and pulled out marinated steaks and told Dad and I to figure out how to heat up the grill on the back patio. 

An hour later we were gathered around the patio table. Talk was light, mostly Becka and Violet talking about the dance the next night, and the two Peter’s telling me how to get the puck past Lundqvist. Olly was situated between Nick and Pete, both taking their chances to make him laugh. More than once Mom had to chastise them for doing something dumb with their food, things Olly didn’t need to mimic. I was probably the one who first taught them, now it would backfire on my best friend’s son. 

Best friend? Was she really my best friend that quickly? For all she did for me and Piper, I guess she very well could be. It’s been awhile since I bonded so quickly with someone who wasn’t a teammate. It took a season for Geno and I to get so keyed into each other. Pauly was probably my best friend in Pittsburgh, but since we weren’t driving to the games and practice together he had started hanging out with Bortz and Beau a little more. Geno was busy with his parents and friends. With Nick around, Olly hadn’t even been asking for Geno to come over. 

The next evening, Mom had planned a dinner out with everyone -minus Becka since she and Austin were going to Hyeholde for a special night; I still wasn’t thrilled with my baby sister’s dating my boss’ son - after the game, including Violet’s parents. It was going to be odd having a seemingly family dinner with the Boyle’s. Things were pushing us all together and I can’t put into words how it makes me feel. It’s like a part of me is excited to have this huge melding of what I believe are two great families. Then the second part of me couldn’t understand why it was happening. Sure, their daughter was taking care of my daughter, of course Mom would want to meet them. It still all felt odd. 

For the game, Mom and Violet sat in the box with Piper, while Dad, Nick, Pete, and Olly had seats in the lower bowl. Getting four seats had been tough, but our travel/ticket guy had gotten four really great ones. Olly was excited and it was rubbing off on Dad. I hadn’t seen him so excited and kid like once in the last ten years. The last was when he got to skate and shoot around on the ice at Soldier Field in March. Having a granddaughter and a little boy around was having a great effect on him. 

We all met up at the restaurant after the loss, everyone else was waiting on me. Pete was entertaining Olly, keeping him awake until he had eaten something other than a hot dog and pretzel. Piper was asleep, sucking greedily on her Penguin WubbaNub with her little hands wrapped possessively around it and her favorite lamb blankie. I bent down to kiss her forehead before taking the empty seat between the stroller and my mom, Violet on the other side of the stroller. 

There were times when I thought about the future and a family. I had never pictured what it would look like, but just sitting down with the majority of my family and hers, I hoped it looked like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all are enjoying this story. I absolutely love it, but I know the world of fanfic craves smut and this lacks smut.


	10. It's Not A Bad Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now how about I'd be the last voice you hear tonight?  
> And every other night for the rest of the nights that there are  
> Every morning I just wanna see you staring back at me  
> 'Cause I know that's a good place to start
> 
> I know people make promises all the time  
> Then they turn right around and break them  
> When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, now you're bleeding  
> Don't you know that I could be that guy to heal it over time  
> And I won't stop until you believe it  
> 'Cause baby you're worth it
> 
> So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me  
> 'Cause you might fuck around to find your dreams come true, with me  
> Spent all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free  
> So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me  
> It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me  
> Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me

Dinner with everyone went very well. Mom and Deb made plans to have lunch while the Neal’s were in town, and Dad and Peter made plans to go golfing while James was in New York. No one was going to New York, being presumptuous of a series win was bad luck in Pete Sr.’s eyes. Everyone enjoyed the “family” dinner, no one more than the mothers. Both Deb and Mom had a gleam in their eyes. The same gleam Evelyn had the first time she thought I may be finally seeing someone. I couldn’t help, but roll my eyes a their hopefulness and I wasn’t sure how to let them down easily. 

The following afternoon once James was on the team jet to the Big Apple, Dad, both Peter’s, Nick and Olly - because it was harder than anything to separate Nick and Olly - were off to one of Pittsburgh’s many golf courses for a quick game. The report back to us when the Neal men and Olly got back to the house was that Pete had coached Olly into asking a girl for her number for him. The story telling only had Olly in a fit of giggles for successfully getting the number for his new friend. 

Oliver was enjoying being part of a bigger family. Maybe a little too much. He wanted Nana Deb to cuddle him, to sit by Nick at dinner, have Pete Sr. cut his chicken up and read him his bedtime book. These were things he did when we were with my parents or the Mellon family. Jack was his favorite person in the world, well that’s before we were thrown into this crazy hockey world. 

While the men were out golfing, and Rebecca off with Austin, Deb and I took Piper to pick up a few new big toys for her. She was sitting on her own, and scooting on her butt a little, so crawling was going to happen soon, with walking soon after. What better way to get her ready for all of that than with a saucer, a walker, and a bouncer? One plain white and purple walker, a crazy ExerSaucer, and ExerSaucer Jump later, we were at home putting them together. The normal ExerSaucer was her first big toy and she loved it. She was grasping and pulling on the toys attached in front of her. 

Nothing happens as fast as the first years for kids. In one month, I could pinpoint all the ways in which she had grown and developed. One month and she was sitting on her own. Eating solids, cut her first two teeth, with two more white caps. She had gotten used to the pain some, but it didn’t make me feel better for her. Fruit pops were now a favorite in the house among everyone. It started as yogurt pops and pieces of frozen watermelon, and the boys quickly ate us out of those. Instead of making only our own, Deb and I bought out most of our favorites at Whole Foods to keep them out of Piper’s ridged treats. I had never used Pinterest like we had been using it for Piper. 

When the Pens lost Game 6 and were coming back to Pittsburgh in a last ditch effort to beat the Rangers, I knew if they couldn’t finish with a win that Piper and James’ time in the city could be coming to an end. And I wasn’t ready for my time with Piper to be over for the summer. 

“How long does James normally hang around the city once the season is over?” I asked Deb as I finished loading the dishwasher after the game. It wasn’t something I wanted to ask in front of everyone. My question could be seen a few different ways, and I only wanted Deb to answer it. “I mean, should we start getting things ready just in case? Start getting things ready for Canada? I know the team and Noel have helped get her dual citizenship started.”

“He tends to stick around for a little while, golfing with friends, going to Pirates games with Pauly. But this is all new, he could want to head up to Whitby after a week or so,” she responded, handing me a bowl to put on the top rack. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he asked you and Oliver to come with him.”

“What? Why would he do that?” I asked, shutting the machine and pressing the start button. The look was gracing her face again. “Deb, it’s not like that. And the sooner you and my mother understand it, the better.”

“I just don’t see why you two can’t try to be more. He’s changed so much in the last month for the better. You’ve helped make him better,” Deb said softly. Her features were pleading almost. “The way you two are together and for those kids. I think you are selling yourself short not to see if there is more there.” I took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to word my response. My fingers gripped the edge of the granite and I let the coolness ground my thoughts. 

“Even if he is changing, and for the better, it’s not me who is behind that. It’s the little girl upstairs,” I said pointing to the ceiling. “And I had my happiness before. I have Oliver as proof. It’s not fair to go looking for a second chance. Some people go their entire lives without finding one.” Deb knew there was no point in arguing with me. It was a moot point and we wouldn’t find common ground on it. 

As I lie in bed waiting for sleep to come, my mind cannot stop going to the conversation with Deb. Would he ask us to come along? And why would he, other than he is afraid to do this on his own? 

Just as I got to sleep, a light flipping on in my bathroom and the subsequent clatter of a contact case and glasses. The water cut on and I sat up wondering why of all bathrooms, James was in my own. Slipping out of bed, I tugged the tank top and sleep shorts to cover as much as they could as I leaned on the door facing, squinting to try and see him more clear. “James, what are you doing in here?” I asked, voice hoarse with sleep.

“Mom’s in my bed with Piper. I guess she woke up and had a hard time getting her to sleep, so I instead of going back down to the washroom, I came in here. Sorry, I tried not to wake you,” he told me, looking up from the mirror. His dress shirt was unbuttoned and hanging open and I thought I could see the outline of his glasses perched on his nose. The only thing saving me from staring at him was my inability to see him very much at all without my glasses. “I was going to steal a pillow from you and go down to the sofa once I was changed,” he pointed to his shorts and shirt lying on the counter top. 

“You can’t sleep on the sofa, you need your rest,” I told him, rubbing my nose a few times as it itched with sleep. “You can have my bed. I’ll take the sofa,” I added, shaking my head.

“No, I’m not putting you out of your own bed,” he held his hands up in argument. “I’ll be fine on the couch for one night.”

“And let you blame me for making you sleep on the sofa if something happens? No way,” I barked, mirroring his movements. “You can take the bed.”

He stopped for a moment and thought over what he was about to say. “Would you compromise and we can share the bed?” he asked, with a pained expression of uncertainty.

“What? You and me share a bed?” I questioned, my eyebrows reaching as far north as they would go.

“It’s a big bed,” he reasoned.

“Yeah, and our mothers would just love to know we shared a bed,” I told him exasperatedly. 

“What?” he asked, stilling his movements.

“You didn’t catch their little glances the other night at dinner? Or tonight when you’re mom almost begged me to see if there was something more here,” I told him, motioning between us both.

“There’s not though. We are friends, good friends, best friends probably. But that’s it,” he said, agreeing with me quickly. As much as I wanted to believe I had no feelings for him past that, to hear him say it caused my heart to clench painfully. But I just nodded my head in agreeance. 

“Which is why it wouldn’t be a good idea to share a bed,” I tried to explain. 

“Fuck it, fuck what other people think. Friends share beds all the time. Go back to sleep,” he said, turning back to the sink to pick up his toothbrush. “I’ll even put up a pillow wall if you can’t stand the thought of sleeping next to me,” he laughed, toothbrush hanging off his lips. Before he started brushing, he shrugged his dress shirt off and this was enough to send me back to my cozy spot in bed. I was back to sleep before I felt the mattress move under his weight. 

The next morning I was up with the sun. Normally, I was up early with Piper, but today I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. Reason, the six-foot-two, lanky man in my bed. Dark bags pooled under my eyes as I downed enough coffee to kill a kitten. When Deb makes her way down with Piper in her arms for her morning warm rice cereal, I was sitting in the small seating area off the kitchen with my fifth cup of coffee. She made small talk and questioned where James was sleeping. "He's in my room," I told her, keeping it as minimal an answer as necessary. I was still shaken from how I had woken up. 

It wasn't as if I woke up how a romcom writer would have played it out. You know, I would have woken up with my back snuggled into James' chest, his breath hitting the back of my neck in little puffs, and for comedy's sake, of course he would be aroused. But I'm not in a rom-com. I'm in my own crazy life. The life where until I’m told ‘nothing’s there’, I don’t want it, but as soon as those words are uttered, I’m questioning my previous decision. How did I wake up? It was fairly normal for me, except my hand was intertwined with a much larger hand and being held closely a warm, solid chest. The pillow I had fallen asleep hugging was still there, but James was cuddled up to the other side of it, gripping my hand. There was something incredibly intimate about it, and I just couldn’t shake the pull in my gut.

While Deb fed Piper, I sat quietly sipping my coffee looking out on the back patio. The air was thick and my eyes felt dry and red. Thankfully, Deb picked up on my mood. Nick was the first to come down asking for breakfast, and Deb handed Piper to me for her bottle. Which is where we sat when James made his presence known, barefoot, dressed in his gym shorts and tight fitting t-shirt. There was a tightness in my chest when he stooped down to drop a kiss on Piper’s forehead, a hand resting between my shoulders in mock balance support. 

The little girl in my arms was affecting my resolve. In no world would developing feelings for a man who had no intentions to develop feelings for me be a good idea. Why is being told you can’t have something, always make you want what you can’t have? (Oh, girl that’s too damn bad. Gah, stupid Eminem.)

James couldn’t know how I had woken. He was so deep in REM sleep, his lip and fingers were twitching. There was no way he was conscious, but I can’t stop from being overly jumpy and jittery when he comes close to me. More than a few times Deb shoots me a worried glance before pulling me away from the group as we wait for our cars after dinner. 

“Ok, what’s wrong? Is it about how soon they could be leaving?” Deb spoke quietly, adjusting Piper’s tee while I held her. Nick and Pete were swinging Olly back and forth while James talked with their dad. How do I answer that question without starting the entire conversation from the night before up again. 

“No, I don’t know,” I offered, letting a sigh slump my shoulders. “It’s not something I can really put into words.”

“You could come with them,” she tried again. “He’s got more than enough room at his house. Pete can come back home to clear some space.”

“No, Deb, we can’t do that,” I disagreed, pulling my necklace from Piper’s small mouth. “You can’t chew on that,” I laughed, tickling her belly. 

“Vi, it’s something to think about. Even if it’s just as friends,” she suggested with some sass which stopped as soon as James sauntered over to extract Piper from my arms. 

“What are you two whispering about?” he inquired, dropping a succession of kisses to Piper’s cheeks to get her to laugh. 

"Talking about tomorrow night," I answered quickly. "Gotta figure out how we are all getting there."

This series had been different with the team staying at a downtown hotel for control purposes. Curfew was strictly enforced and new father James was definitely no exception. He was leaving straight from dinner to head right to the hotel. I could tell his nerves were high, not wanting to let the Rangers beat them on home ice in Game 7. Piper calmed him down, but it would be 24 hours before she could do that again. 

\---

We lost. The season was over. We lost. 

I had never seen so many professional athletes just give up. Sid gave up. It was like I had entered the Twilight Zone. We out shot them, but Lundqvist was a brick wall only allowing one of thirty-six shots past. 

The only happy moment which would stand out for the rest of my life was during warmups. I had skated out and made one lap before finding a piece of ice to stretch. As I picked up a puck to join shooting practice something in one of the corners caught my eye. Standing on the lip of the boards on the opposite side of the glass was my daughter in her matching jersey. Violet held her little arm and waved it, no doubt saying things like "who is that" and "smile at daddy." Beside them stood Mom and Olly, the latter waving exaggeratedly and turning once I got closer. On his back, the white letters and numbers no longer read "Malkin 71", but "Neal 18" had taken their places. He actually liked me enough to forgo Geno's jersey for one of my own. 

When the final buzzer rang out, I almost couldn't believe it. It felt like a dream, no a nightmare. After a year of adversity we just collapsed. The room was somber as the regulars had media availability and others striped their uniforms for what could be the last time. A few guys already had rumors of free agency. A good part of the team was up for contract renewals. I was thankful for having a few more seasons on my contract. 

A couple of the guys started planning to get drunk, needing to numb the pain and forget the series pronto. I was going to wait until the next day when the majority of the team would get together to have one last hoorah before getaway day and starting our summers. The clan had gone home after the game. One text to Violet had told them not to wait for me. 

Back at the house the kids were in bed and the only ones left awake were Dad, Pete, Becka, and Violet. They were settled on the sofa, beers in every right hand, but Becka's. Hugs, pats on the back, and a few "you'll get 'em next year"s were shared, Violet dashing into the kitchen to grab me a beer as I tossed my coat and tie over the back of the couch. She returned with a longneck bottle and a sandwich, always mothering. 

By noon the next day, a golf game and the rest of the evening had been planned. At six-pm most of the team had already convened at one bar to start the crawl. When Geno walked in at seven, I was surprised to see Violet tagging along. 

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked, looping an arm around her shoulders while Geno ordered her a drink. 

"Geno stopped by on his way and your mom pushed me out the door. I know this is like team bonding-slash-goodbyes, and I told them that, so I'm sorry for crashing the party," she explained, worry etching her brow. 

"No, I'm glad you are here. I owed you a night out. A kid-free night," I told her, shaking her shoulders. 

"But no other women will be here, right? So it'll be me in the middle of a group of hockey players and leftover college kids," she pondered, looking around for signs of any of the guys wives or girlfriends. "Plus, you can owe me a kid-free night another time. I really don't know if I want to be around here when the debauchery starts."

"You're staying. Deal with it," I stated matter-of-factly before Pauly pulled her into a drunken hug. 

Things get a little blurry from there on out. I remember taking shots with some college kids, telling the bartender and owner how sorry I was for the team letting Pittsburgh down, and my Twitter notifications let me know I had tried to make out with most of the girls in the bar. Classy James, real classy. 

I had woken up in my own bed. Not my bed at Violet's, but my own bed in my own house across from Pauly's. My bed was a mess and I was naked. A loud whoop was hard to contain when I found a used condom and wrapper thrown in the floor. At least if I'd been an idiot, I had been a safe idiot. A taxi receipt time stamped two-twelve was sticking out of a pair I of jeans I found in my livingroom. Then a pink lace thong was on my kitchen island on a scrap of paper. Chrissy was thanking me for a good night, apologizing for having to work, and leaving her number and asking me to call her sometime. Both the underwear and note were quickly tossed into the trash. 

After a hot shower, three Gatorades, Tylenol, and scrounging up some clothes to wear, I called a cab to take me back to my car, parked on a street near the first bar we had gone to the day before. Pete snickered as I stumbled in looking green, asking if I needed some hair of the dog. He may be looking for a place to live this summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry It took me so long to post again. So much going on in my life. Good stuff going on in my life. I thought I'd get home early enough yesterday to post, but my sweet newborn niece took all of my time. I didn't want to leave her for one second I could spend with her before my sister moved 10 hours away. I really hope this post makes up for it.


	11. Runaway Car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Stop this runaway car_  
>  I wanna get off, I wanna go back  
> If I left you there then I left it all behind 
> 
> _'Cause all I'm feeling now_  
>  Is the weight of the world bearing down  
> I don't have answers to any of my questions anymore 
> 
> _'Cause I might have been wrong_  
>  I might have been scared all alone  
> Might have been standing on the top of the world 
> 
> _What a difference a day makes, I turned and watched you walk away_  
>  I might have been standing on the top of the world  
> 'Cause I might have been wrong 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to check out the playlist for the song featured as titles/in the story. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJtSTIjrq7jTOe5BRVxMn5OWYDsoWfCim
> 
> I'm going to be better about posting. But I have to finish a few chapters. And I'm sorry.

With the season over for the Pens, I knew it was only time before James packed up and went home to Whitby. Geno was only going to hang around Pittsburgh for a few days or so, then leave for Minsk for Worlds, then on to vacation and training. As soon as the last game was played, I started dropping a comment here or there to Oliver to get him ready for both men’s departure. Today we had planned to spend the day relaxing by my parents’ pool, but the rain was coming down keeping us indoors. 

Olly had pulled the guys down to the media room/rec room to watch Homeward Bound - a movie which had been one of my favorite movies growing up and now a favorite of Oliver’s. Sidney was the only one missing from our little group. Being the face of Pittsburgh hockey and the NHL had him busy as the season ended. Pauly was snoring lightly from his section of the sofa while Olly made both Geno and James sit with him. I had taken over the chaise lounge, holding a sleeping Piper to my chest. This little girl had my heart just as much as Olly did. I was pathetic.

The loss of Piper’s weight on my chest woke me. I was covered with a fuzzy blanket and the movie had now changed to Monster’s Inc. Olly was also asleep, but Geno and Paul were missing. A grumble formed deep in my chest as my body tried to adjust. Piper was babbling in James’ arms as they both looked down on me.

“She’s been awake a while, just lying on you talking up a storm. I’m surprised she didn’t wake you. That, or the load she just dropped in her diaper,” he laughed and began walking around the end of the chaise towards the stairs. “Pauly and G went to grab Nicco’s for dinner. We ordered a lot of food. Couple pizzas, chicken tenders, zucchini sticks to smush for Peej, spaghetti, few hoagies.”

“Sounds like the entire menu,” I told him with a sleepy voice and smile. “How long has he been out?”

“About thirty minutes. I gave him juice and applesauce almost an hour ago. The guys should be getting back soon,” he said before disappearing up the stairs. I stretched my arms and legs, working the kinks out of my back, shoulders and neck before standing to wake Olly. For about ten minutes I sat on the couch with him, cuddling him as he woke. 

“Mommy, why can’t we go with Geno to Russia, or Canada with James,” he asked, nuzzling his face into my shoulder. “Or why do they have to go?”

“They have to go, because they need to train and get ready for next season. We can’t go to Russia, because it’s not our place to go to Russia. I know you’ll miss Geno, and he’s gonna miss you too. I’m sure we can ask if he’ll Skype or call while he’s gone. And we can ask James if we can come visit them later this summer,” I tried to reason with him as much as you could with a five-year-old. “Geno and Pauly went and picked up pizza, wanna go up and see if it’s here?”

“It is,” James called from three steps up from the bottom. “Geno says hurry up before he eats it all.” This made Oliver pull away from me and dash up the stairs. “I was going to ask if you guys wanted to come up for a couple weeks,” James spoke as I stood, folding the blankets on the couch. “After two months of you all in my daily life, I can’t imagine going two months without seeing either of you. Plus, Piper has bonded with you. That’s the term right? Bonded?”

“Yes, it’s bonded. Here I am worried Olly’s going to have a meltdown when you all leave, and it’s really going to be me. I’m not sure what I’m going to do this summer,” I told him as I walked to the stairs. He took two steps and met me at the bottom, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. He smelled spicy like his cologne and deodorant. “I’m going to miss you both. It’s been really nice having you here. This house is so big, and it's gonna feel empty with just Olly and I here.”

“How ‘bout as soon as I get used to being a single dad, you guys come up to visit? I am so used to having your help twenty-four/seven and I need to know what I’m doing. Granted, Mike and Pete will be in the house with me, and Mom’s just down the road and will watch her while I’m training. I need to know what to do so I can do it while I’m not on the road next season.” He gave me a squeeze and pulled away. “I need you to coach me, but you can’t do it all.” A small nod was interrupted by my stomach growling. 

The next day, James took Olly with him when he went to play golf with is buddies at Long Vue. With my parents out of town, I decided to take Piper over for some pool fun alone. When we got back home after a few hours in the sun, my shoulders and cheeks had a slight tinge of pink while Piper’s little body had only lightly tanned due to California Baby SPF 30+. The boys had taken the spray SPF 18 for themselves, leaving me with the SPF 30 or a Coppertone Tanning SPF 4 - obviously four wasn’t enough for me even though I tanned well. 

Piper loved the pool. She floated and splashed from her Hippo float in front of me as I floated in my lounger. I blew bubbles in the water to make her laugh and swished her around quickly in the water. It was a fun day, and it solidified how much I was going to miss the blue eyed girl. 

“Mommy! James is gonna teach me to golf!” Olly screamed as I entered the house with Piper on my hip. “He let me putt and bought me my own putter!” I stood wide-eyed staring at my screaming son. James walked into the mudroom with a sheepish look. “He said when we visit them in Whitby, he’ll take me and really show me how!”

“Oliver, stop screaming,” I told him as Piper started to squeal back at him. “That’s awesome, Bub. Grandpa and Pops will be excited to have their little man golfing too.” I dropped the pool bag by the coat and shoe racks before kicking off my flip flops. Both of us had already changed out of our bathing suits, but I could smell the salty water on my body. “She could use a bath and a nap. Piper tell your daddy to take care of that, huh. Tell him,” I said in a baby voice bouncing her around. James moved closer and she reached out for him to take her. 

Fiddling around the kitchen I started a red sauce with Italian sausage to stew while I ran up to wash the saline drops and tanning lotion off my body. Olly was helping James bathe Piper and I could hear the three of them splashing in the bath water. He said he needed time to do the fatherhood thing on his own without my help, but he was pretty good at it. It looked good on him. 

Our days were winding down with them here and I was going to get as many Piper cuddles in before she left for Canada. Her passport had arrived days ago in preparation. James had even started the process of getting her Canadian dual citizenship and passport. 

“So my dad sent me a text, asking if you were really asking to be traded,” I posed the question as I boiled the pasta. He was feeding Piper a healthy serving of pureed green beans. 

“I didn’t ask to be traded, but it’s a possibility. Especially with Ray’s firing and Dan’s eminent firing,” he told me. “I don’t want to be traded. All my friends are here. If I get traded, who would help me with Piper? Some dumb teammate I barely know? Not likely.” 

I let the subject go and he started talking about a few golf trips he was going to plan with friends. A few days here and there before going back to Whitby and then Minneapolis for Nisky’s wedding. His departure from Pittsburgh for the summer was looming and I wasn’t looking forward to it.

“I think I want to sell my place and get something bigger, closer to here,” he said out of the blue. “I talked to Mom and Dad about it when they were here, but I really think I want to. What’s your opinion?” he asked, wiping Piper’s face as she slobbered green puree all over her face. 

“You want to move to Sewickley?” I asked, turning from the stove. 

“Yeah, closer to you and Olly. And Sid and Geno. Plus, it would be safer for Becka with her spending most of her time with Austin when she’s here,” he rationalized. His points were decent. “Oh, I think she wants to come down for a week soon. Is that ok?”

“Of course. She’s a doll. I’ll get her room ready for her,” I told him with a smile. 

Later that week, we started packing up his house to prepare him for selling the home he hadn’t used since April. Rebecca made her way back to the ‘Burgh to spend time with Austin and help us pack up the little things James hadn’t already transferred to my house. Two golf trips had been completed by the time he headed back to Whitby. His house was sparse, only the furniture was left, and the realtor started showing the house to buyers. 

\-------

Three weeks, they had been away for three weeks. I spent the time cleaning the house from top to bottom, spent three hours a day around my parents’ pool, cooked two weeks worth of dinners and soups to freeze, and continued working on basic reading, writing, and vocabulary in preparation for the end of August school start date. Oliver was a smart kid and I was going to do whatever I could to get him to the top of his class every year. The saving grace was Olly loved to learn. He loved reading, he loved learning about new things. 

There were days I’d walk to Olly’s room to drop off laundry and I couldn’t help, but linger in the doorway to Piper’s room. James would be back for a charity golf tournament, but was only stopping by to pick up his car before heading down to Nemacolin for the event. He would stay for three days before heading to Minnesota for Matt’s wedding. 

I was lounging around my parents’ pool while Oliver swam and my dad grilled some lamb burgers when I got a panicked phone call that Friday. “They traded me,” James’ voice was morose and my heart dropped all the way to my feet. “I’m going to Nashville,” he added, just as somber. 

“What? Why would they do that? There isn’t anyone from Nashville they could use, right?” I asked, my voice reaching higher octaves in terror. The squeaky nature of my tone caught my dad’s attention as he closed the grill and walked over to where I sat watching Olly swim.

“They said they needed to make some changes and I was the first in a long line,” he told me, grit evident.

“James, I’m so sorry,” I reiterated, a lump forming in my throat. “You had so many plans for Piper here.” Dad kicked my foot to draw my attention to him so he could mouth ‘trade’, and I could only nod with a frown. The silence on the other end of the line was breaking my heart. “Hey, are you ok?” I heard him take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Not really,” he stated as evenly as possible. “I don’t want to leave.” I took this as my cue to get up and walk further away from where my dad was standing.

“I don’t want you to leave,” I swallowed harshly to keep the knot from growing in my chest. “Being without Piper has been hard for three weeks. I don’t think I can handle this,” I confessed. We talked for a few more minutes before one of the guys knocked on the hotel room door.

Before walking over to where my mom now stood drying off Olly and my dad was pulling the burgers off the grill, I took a minute to take in what had happened. James was undoubtedly my closest friend now. Piper was only second to Olly in my life. This entire situation made me want to cry. It was going to break Olly’s heart. Pushing the tears which had gathered on my waterline, I turned to tell my parents and Oliver the news. Just as expected, Oliver had a meltdown and refused to eat as he cried in one of the loungers. The trip to Whitby in the coming days couldn’t happen soon enough.


	12. Don't You Wanna Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Don't you wanna stay here a little while?_  
>  Don't you wanna hold each other tight?  
> Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight? 
> 
> _Don't you wanna stay here a little while?_  
>  We can make forever feel this way  
> Don't you wanna stay? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a few trigger warnings. See end notes.

Pulling up in front of James’ modest Whitby home was slightly odd to me. I was looking forward to meeting Mike. As much as James spoke of him during our FaceTime calls, I felt like I already knew him. They all rushed out of the house, Deb carrying Piper. James was right not to bring her with him on the drive. Two hours in a car for an eight month old was not the best idea. Leaving James to help Olly out of the SUV, I darted to steal Piper from her Nana. When her eyes met mine, I wanted to cry. Her face lit up and she reached out for me as I took her. 

It was so great to have that little girl back in my arms. Three weeks was way too long. I was attached and I wasn’t sure what I was going to do when she wasn’t a constant in my life again. James followed Olly as he ran up to give Deb and Peter a hug, then slap five with Nick. James stood next to me as I talked to Piper, placing his hand on my mid-back. Thinking I missed her was nothing like how I really missed her. How was I going to handle them being over five hundred miles away?

“Over the last week, she would look around for you anytime anyone said your name,” James said softly. “It’s kinda heartbreaking.” My heart cracked to pieces. 

“Don’t tell me that, I’ll steal her when I go back,” I told him, kissing and squeezing the little girl. “I didn’t know I missed her this much.”

“We missed you guys too,” he replied. “So mom and Becks are going to watch the kids tonight, we’re going out.”

“What? I want to spend time with everyone,” I turned to face him. 

“Don’t worry, when you can’t get away from them when we go up to the lake next week, you’ll be saying you wish we could go out with Stammer and the guys,” he laughed.

“Stammer?” I asked, not recognizing the nickname.

“Steven Stamkos,” Deb told me, leaning in to give me a hug. “Go out, the rest of the trip will be all family, plus you’ll have Mike and Pete here at the house. Olly’s excited to get to stay with Nicky.” Her expression told me not to argue. “Now come meet the elusive Michael.”

I didn’t miss the looks from Mike when James and Deb introduced me. “It’s gonna be nice to have another girl around here for a while,” Rebecca joked, hugging me as the boys unloaded our bags. 

We all sat around the living room catching up and snacking on food Deb had stocked the boys' pantry and fridge with for our visit. Before long, Deb and Peter were ready to leave with their two youngest and two they referred to as the "grandkids". This struck me as peculiar. It was one thing for a child who grew up without a father to insert himself, but did they think of us as family so quickly? When I went to grab things for Olly's overnight, Deb stopped me and smiled great big.

"I may have gotten him a few things special for tonight," she was truly excited to have him staying in her home overnight. "I have James' old room all ready for him." This family was going to do me in when it comes to their generosity and welcoming nature. 

I watched Nick carry Olly out, over his shoulder before they both crawled into the rear seat of the black Suburban Peter drove. Just like that, the little girl I was looking forward to cuddling all night and my son were off to have a sleepover without me. 

"Time to show you to your room and start getting gussied up for tonight," James said, tossing his arm around my shoulders. The five bedrooms in the older house were smaller than those at my house. But I could tell these rooms were only intended for sleeping while the rest of the house was for lounging and having a good time. Piper's room and the room I was staying in shared a Jack and Jill bathroom. I couldn't help, but glance into her room and see both a crib decorated identical to the one still in my guest room and a twin bed with a navy blue and baby blue bold striped duvet, the same shark sheets I had gotten him months ago, and completing the display, a new floppy puppy. The familiarity in the room made me smile. 

It wasn't thirty minutes when James came into the room, announcing they were waiting on me. And how Stamkos and Tavares were five minutes from the bar. I felt like I was trying too hard not to look exhausted from a day of travel and time with the Neal family. My face was covered with more eye makeup than I normally wore, and my hair had more product in it to make it look less limp. 

James told me the outfit I had selected was not appropriate for the bar we were going to that night. He was dressed in a nice pair of faded jeans and a plaid button down, one too many buttons undone and rolled sleeves. I pulled out a pair of gold shorts and a loose fitting, white v-neck tee and printed Sam Edelman Gigi sandals. When he saw the look together, James approved and we were dashing out the door. 

The bar was a borderline club. The place was packed and music was playing loud. We made a stop at the bar, where James shook hands with the bartender, telling him who all was on his tab tonight. A few moments later James was handing me a vodka-cranberry, and then pulled me further into the bar to find his friends. 

Thankfully, the two hockey players had grabbed a high top table and stood around it chatting. "Stammer, Tavares, this is Violet. We keep an eye on her tonight," he introduced, before turning to me. "Vi, this is Steven Stamkos and John Tavares." We all exchanged pleasantries. 

They both started asking why I put up with James willingly, his brothers wondering the same thing. I really didn't think he was that bad, little moody after losses, but an overall nice guy. 

James was the first to step away from the table in search of tonight's prey, followed by his own brothers and Steven. John stood talking to me until someone he used to play hockey with waved him over and I was left all alone at the high top. 

In Pittsburgh, the one night I went out, none of the guys ever left me alone. Granted I knew most of them better than the four that James had brought me out with. Taking my phone out I deleted promotional emails and sent Sidney text: "Captain's Log: Night One - Whitby, Ontario. Out at a packed bar with three Neal's, Stamkos, and Tavares. They all left me alone. I miss you and Geno more now than ever. Heck, even Pauly. Will you be back in Pittsburgh any time soon?" During my one night out, Geno and Sid made sure I was never left alone up until Geno and I decided things were getting too intoxicated for us and went home. 

"What is such a pretty girl doing standing all alone?" a voice asked, causing me to look up. The owner was a tall, tanned guy with chocolate eyes and sun faded brown hair. He wore an outfit similar to the one James wore and a bright, white smile. "Hi, I'm Caleb," he greeted, hand sticking out for me to shake. He wasn't gorgeous, but he wasn't ugly. And he was at least talking to me, so I didn't see the harm in it. 

"Violet," I offered, letting his hand engulfed mine. 

"And why are you all alone, Violet?" he asked, leaning against the high top a few feet from me. 

"My friends all went to talk to people," I told him, glancing around to see most of the guys now in conversations with pretty girls who obviously enjoyed being in the presence of hockey players. 

"Looks like you need company and another drink," Caleb said, motioning to the glass which held three-fourths less alcohol. "Vodka?" he asked, to which I nodded and he turned to the bar. I was going to turn down the drink when he got back with it, but I didn't feel like leaving my spot leaned up against the banister behind me to grab one on my own. 

The drink he brought me had an added sour of lime to the tart cranberry. We talked, him more than me, and I found myself downing the drink quickly. When he returned the second time with fresh glasses, it was a vodka-Red Bull for me. "You seemed a little tired," he shrugged, watching me take a sip. He had gotten sugar-free Red Bull. I could taste the aspartame bitterness, but shrugged it off. If I was going to be bored to death by a guy because my friend and his friends left me alone, then I was going to get drunk. 

I was finished with the drink then excused myself to the ladies' room. The alcohol had clouded my brain like that of a first time drinker. One beer or a couple glasses of wine were normally my limits, but three vodka cocktails were a little more potent. James had a short blonde backed up to the wall and his hand resting beside her ear on the wall, trapping her as they flirted back and forth. Would he bring her back to the house or would he go to her place? I really didn't need to hear him or his brothers having sex. 

At the sinks in the bathroom, I felt a little dizzy. Then a little woozy, grabbing onto the sink basin to still myself. It was then I knew I needed to find someone I had came to the bar with. Anyone I had came to the bar with. 

Three steps away from the bathroom and Caleb was waiting on me. The guy was a certifiable creep. It's when it really hit me. Whatever he had put in my last drink was coming on full-force and I could barely try to pull away as he wrapped his arm around me and started pulling me towards the door. My eyelids were fluttering as I tried to find someone, anyone I knew. My tongue was like sandpaper on the roof of my mouth as I tried to call out to James who stood twenty feet away with his back to me. Nothing came out, just a squeak as I stumbled over my own two feet. 

Toward the door, another guy stepped up to my free side, helping Caleb with his task. Turning and trying to pull away from both of them, I ended up almost tumbled to the ground catching the attention of the doorman. 

"Guys, she's gotta go. Too drunk to be here," the burly man told them. They agreed and hoisted me higher. The guy who is supposed to keep people safe in a bar thinks I'm just drunk. I tried to argue, ask for help, but my tongue and lips couldn't form coherent words. This must be what it feels like to become "locked in" your own body. Like Mos Def on the old episode of House. Except no one was looking out for me, trying to figure out what had locked me in my own body. 

A car was waiting outside, I tried to pull away one last time and failed. But I had to try again. I willed all of my muscles to pull back and away from the two men looking to assault me. Oh God, that's what they want to do. They want to rape me. The thought made me panic and I tried once more to pull free before they could get me in the car.   
.  
The way Caleb and his friend were pulled away from me, I knew it wasn't my doing. I almost fell to the concrete sidewalk which was littered with gum, spit, and what could be any liquid imaginable. Two arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me up just in time to see James swing and connect with Caleb's nose. Was his name even Caleb? 

Steven and Mike had the other guys pinned to the back glass of the SUV, Pete was trying to pull James away, leaving only John to be holding me upright. The last thing I saw was James go to swing again, before my world went black. 

\-----------

A beeping noise rang out next to my left ear as I tried to open my eyes. The air was filled with the fake sterile smell. The smell which was supposed to make you think everything was super clean, when in reality you could probably catch M-RSA off every door handle. My nose twitched and I could feel the steady flow of oxygen being pumped directly up my nostrils via the nasal cannulas. From what I could tell, I was in a private room rather than the open, curtained off area most ERs had. The clamp on my finger measuring my pulse-ox was the culprit to the beeping noise which was giving me a headache. Or did I already have the headache?

A groan formed in my chest, and as it passed over my vocal chords, more discomfort hit my body in the form of a burning sensation. Swallowing just made it worse. "Hey, you coming around?" a voice sounding almost familiar asked. Another groan and trying to open my eyes that felt like they were the steel curtain. 

One millimeter, I got them open one millimeter before they shut again. Second time they opened a little further. "Don't fight it. The drugs are still trying to counteract whatever they gave you. Just rest," the kind voice told me. The only thing I could do was force out a frustrated sigh. 

Ten minutes later, my mouth subconsciously tried to wet itself, only to part my dry lips and pull my tongue loose from the roof of my mouth. It was like the stickiness of peanut butter holding it. Half-lidded, my eyes opened a few times to re-wet my contacts. Sitting in the chair next to me was Mike, his shirt rumpled and he looked tired. 

"Hey, there you are," he smiled, leaning forward. 

"Water," I croaked, my vocal chords being so dry they could hardly muster the one word. Mike scurried to grab a plastic cup with a straw, holding it to my lips so I could drink. "What happened?" I asked after downing most of the cup, the water hitting my empty stomach and giving me a chill. He paused to pour more out of the pitcher. 

"You were drugged, obviously," he tried to joke, then his smile fell. "Steven saw those guys basically carrying you out. He grabbed all of us and we got you away from them."

He was being vague, purposely. I could tell the way his eyes darted to the door hoping for someone else to come. "James punched the guy," I asked after he held the cup out for me again. He nodded looking solemn. "Where is he? James," I asked. 

Mike sighed, letting his shoulders drop. "He's talking to the cops," he told me, looking down at the blankets on the bed. "The bouncer said he was going to call the cops after James broke the douche's nose. We told them we weren't waiting around and to send them to the hospital. They got here about an hour ago."

"What time is it?" There weren't any clocks on the walls that I could read. The light in the room was turned on low, but the fluorescences in the hall were glowing stark white. 

"Two-thirty. We've been here since right after midnight. They pumped your stomach and gave you something to flush the drugs out of your system," he explained. "Those guys fled before the cops arrived. At least that's what they told us when they met with everyone." 

The feelings of shame and embarrassment washed over me, making me turn away from Mike. I was so ashamed I had fallen prey to a guy who drugged me. Ashamed he almost had me in the car. If Steven hadn't have seen me, then I would either be a rape victim or worse. The tears falling from my eyes stung. “Are they going to arrest James?” I got out shakily.

"I don't think so. He was protecting you from much worse. And there isn't anyone else pressing charges." He paused, placing the cup on the small table and stood. "They are just out in the hall a little ways down. I'll see if he can come in."

"Please don't leave me alone," I whimpered in fear. Everything was hitting me again. The panic as they tried to force me in the car. The fear of becoming another crime statistic. Well that one I still was. I was a victim of an attempted assault. 

"Just going to poke my head out the door," he soothed me. I turned my head to watch him, ready to yell if I lost sight of him. But he leaned out the door and motioned for someone to come in the room. With the door opened more I could hear the rubber soles running on the tile, just before James skidded to a stop and rushed to my bed. 

He pulled me tight against his chest, rubbing my back with his left hand while other laid heavy on my shoulder; it was cold. The tears started pouring and he just held me tighter. He was something safe to me. I could tell he had been just as scared as I was. 

"I hate to interrupt, but we need to get a statement from Miss Boyle," a deep raspy voice spoke from near the door. 

James pulled away, wiping my tear stained cheeks with his left hand, his right coming to rest in his lap. It was wrapped with plastic wrap and a ice pack, he had gotten hurt. He noticed the panic in my eyes before the words made it to my lips. "I'm ok, just swollen. The doctors x-rayed it to be sure," he said with slight laugh. "Vi, the detectives need to talk to you. We filled them in on what happened outside of the bar, but they need to know what happened before." I nodded, understanding the drill from years of watching Law & Order: SVU. Another sob was threatening to hiccup it's way out, so I bit my lower lip and looked over his shoulder. 

"Mr. Neal if you wouldn't mind waiting-" the older detective started. 

"Can he stay," I pled. "Please?" They nodded and watched as James situated himself beside me to face them. Before they could ask the first question, I slid my hand into James' left palm and squeezed it tight as I took a deep breath. The detectives, Blake and Humphreys, asked for a run down of the evening from me. When I got to the part where everyone broke off leaving me alone at the table. James squeezed my hand before dropping it and slipping his arm around me. They asked for the guys name, what he looked like, what his friends looked like, what kind of car. All of these things were a blur in the light of it. Detective Blake said they had a call out to other ERs for someone with a broken nose. 

The doctor and nurses came in while I was talking with the detectives to check on me and make sure the drugs were worked out of my system. And not thirty minutes later I was handed a pair of scrubs to put on, my outfit had been cut off me to get me into the worn cotton hospital gown. They had been stuffed into a clear plastic bag that one of the guys carried to the car.

When I was face to face with the three men I didn’t know well at all, I couldn’t tell you who looked worse, me or them. Steven looked tired, Pete was a little jumpy, Mike looked relieved, but then poor John. He looked like a scared little puppy, no doubt this is the first time he’d ever caught a girl as she passed out, let alone from being slipped a date rape drug. 

By five-am we were finally back at James'. Exhaustion and the effects of the day were winning and I couldn't wait to climb into the queen bed waiting for me. Steven declared James was going to have to deal with him taking up the other side of his bed tonight, John would take one of the couches. It took everything left in me to make it up the stairs and find a t-shirt and sleep shorts. Scrubs washed at the hospital lacked the softness of a well worn Columbia tee. 

The few minutes to myself caught up with me and tears were streaming down my cheeks again, taking what was left of my eye makeup with them in grey-black streaks. A light knock had me scampering to find something to wipe my face before who I assumed was James entered. I came up empty and this just caused more tears as our eyes met. He sat down a bottle of water and a box of Wheat Thins before disappearing into the bathroom, the water running for a few moments as cabinets opened and closed. When he sat down beside me on the bed he had a wash cloth in hand and turned my head to face him. Gently he wiped my face and any traces of the offensive black makeup. 

"There all better," he said with a small smile, admiring his handy work of transforming me from Carrie after the blood bath to a less scary looking woman. "You need to get some sleep," he told me, standing to return the wash cloth to the bathroom and retrieve the sustenance. I simply nodded and stood to turn the covers down. He was by my side and tucking me in when I realized I was going to be left alone, something that had me scared again. He was saying goodnight when I grabbed his wrist stopping him. 

"Please, don't leave me alone," I pleaded, a lump gathering in my throat again. "Stay with me tonight, please." He looked at my hand holding his arm below where his tattoo sleeve stopped, and then towards the door. "I really don't want to be alone." With a sigh, he nodded then told me to wait a moment before leaving the room. Five minutes later he came back in a black Under Armour tee and red lacrosse shorts. Crawling under the covers, he reached to turn out the bedside lamp. Wiggling my way closer, I knew he would fight me, but I needed to feel safe. And I knew tonight, his arms could accomplish the task. He accepted, thankfully, and as I listened to the beat if his heart I felt him press a kiss to the crown of my head before I fell into a restless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Date rape drug, attempted assault, pre-attempted rape. 
> 
> I'm sure someone will hate me for doing that to her, but it will serve a purpose. I would love to talk it out with you all and explain some things, if you want.


	13. I'm So Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life isn't always what you think it’d be  
> Turn your head for one second and the tables turn  
> And I know, I know that I did you wrong  
> But will you trust me when I say that I'll make it up to you?  
> Somehow, somehow?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song title is also my apology. I'm so sorry.

It was close to noon when I groggily woke, feeling an arm thrown across my stomach, a mess of brown hair on my shoulder. All night, well morning, I kept waking up, making sure she was still beside me. Last night was more than enough to scare the both of us. I wouldn’t have slept well in my own bed. If she hadn’t have asked me to stay, then I probably would have been up pacing the hall or sitting right outside her door. Having her right beside me with my arm securely around her shoulders made me feel better, just as much as it made her feel safe.

Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly before tightening my arm around her, pulling her closer. Her arm which was lying across my stomach gripped my hip as her face turned into my shoulder. She pressed her face hard into my shoulder, then felt my t-shirt covered side. One deep breath and she was turning her face up to look at me. Her makeup from the night before smeared all around her bloodshot eyes. The wet wash cloth had only gotten the worst of it without removing any extra.

"Hi," she smiled meekly.

"Hey, how do you feel?" I asked, reaching over to brush her bangs out of her eyes.

"Honestly, I feel like I was hit by a Mack truck," she winced at the sound of her own voice. "My head is pounding and my whole body hurts like I was in a car accident."

"How are you, ya know, emotionally?" I was treading water, trying not to cause more duress.

"I'm mad at myself. I can't stop thinking how I could have been so stupid. What would have happened if Steven hadn't seen, if you all would have gotten outside just 15 seconds later," her voice quivered as she spoke.

"Hey, you are safe. I'm never going to let anything like that happen. I'm an idiot for walking off and leaving you alone. It's my fault," I told her, squeezing her against me and resting my chin on her forehead.

"I'm sorry I messed up your night, it looked like that girl was sure thing," she mumbled into my chest.

"She doesn't matter. You do. I should have been with you making sure you were having fun and safe. I'm the ass here," I whispered into her hair. I could hear my brothers stomping up the stairs and try looking into my bedroom before they walked the rest of the way to this guest room. They were arguing over whether they should knock or just peek in the room.

"I'm asleep," Violet whispered before pulling away slightly and closing her eyes.

Peeking in the room won, Mike and Pete popped their heads in like one Friends Thanksgiving episode. My brow shot up and I motioned for them to be quiet. They slid quietly to the side of the bed glancing from the "sleeping" Violet in my arms and back to me.

"Has she woken up any? Mom's worried sick. She's been calling all morning," Mike whispered.

"And Nick said he's running out of things to do with Olly to keep his mind off asking for either of you," Pete added.

"She woke up earlier. Doesn't feel too great. Can one of you go grab her a Gatorade and some Tylenol or Excedrin? I think she's going to need it." Pete nodded and left the room in search of those things. "She's going to need something to eat. Is there anything we can fix her or can you see if Mom can make her something?"

"Mom is already fixing some chicken pasta to bring over when she's ready," Mike nodded as he spoke. "So, uh, you slept in here?" He asked with a shit-eating grin.

"She asked me to stay with her. She just went through something traumatic and needed me. After all she's done for me, it's the least I could do," I quietly told him, glancing to see if she was going to feign waking up to no avail. "I probably would have sat outside her door anyway." At this confession, I felt her fingers move slightly against my side.

"Are you sure that's the only reason?" Mike asked knowingly.

"What are you even talking about?" I asked confused. Pete reappeared with the pills and drink, ending the conversation. "Go call mom and tell her to be over in thirty. I'll wake her up, get her to take the meds, and make her shower." Thankfully, they leave like I told them and she opens her eyes slowly. "Here, sit up and take these," I nudge her to lean up on her elbow enough not to choke on the Gatorade.

"You really are a great friend,” she said, her chin quivering as she took another gulp of Gatorade. “What am I going to do without you and Piper?” she followed up sadly.

“It’s only an hour and half flight. I’ve already checked,” I laughed. It was true, I had. It was the third thing I had done after finding out about the trade. “We just won’t see each other as often as every day,” I tried to make light of the situation. “You guys can come down before the season starts, and we, god that’s odd to not mean the Penguins, play the Penguins in October. You two can come down for that too. You aren’t getting rid of us,” I nudged her with my elbow. “Olly’s going to have more frequent flyer miles than any other five year old on the planet,” I joked.

“It’s not funny. I need her little smiles in my life,” she took a deep breath and a pout set on her mouth.

“We’ll talk about it later, go get a shower. It’ll make you feel better,” I told her, patting her leg before getting up to go take a shower of my own.

The shower was spent thinking about all which was going on in our lives right now. A trade, an assault, a move, losing friends. Everything was so screwed up. I wasn’t supposed to be traded. I was supposed to have a long career in Pittsburgh. Playing alongside Geno was the best thing that had ever happened to my career. We had chemistry. Sure this past season wasn’t the greatest. Everyone on the team had their own personal issues. Geno was let down in Sochi, Sid was, well no one knew what was going on with him, and I had a five-month old dropped on my doorstep.

Now, Piper is eight months old. She’s only reached these developmental levels because of Violet. And I had been a horrible friend and let this happen to her last night. It seemed Nick had kept Olly entertained most of the night, and up early this morning. Olly was slumped against Pete on the loveseat watching what looked like Harry Potter on tv after we all had eaten. And that's all we did on their first day. Well, I had to take a wonderful call from my trainer Gary. He proceeded to bitch me out about priorities before checking to make sure Violet was ok. Gary was interested in my friendship with Violet on a teenage girl level. It probably didn’t help their visit was all I could talk about when he was trying to make plans for my training.

“Be ready to do suicides tomorrow. Fuck putting your training off a month, I’m more angry about this. I knew you were a dumb fuck, but this takes the cake, Neal,” Robs had spat when I called him once Vi was settled on the sofa with Piper and Olly, while mom was playing nurse.

The afternoon and evening was spent in the living room watching Disney movies and playing Mario Kart, until I mentioned there were some gifts in the garage. Mike helped me carrying in the boxes and the-

“GOLF CLUBS!” Olly squealed. “Momma, look golf clubs! Are they mine? Like my very own?”

”Buddy, calm down a bit. Your mom doesn’t feel good, remember,” I told him, holding him at arm’s length as he ran over to look at the black and white bag I held high away from him.

“James,” he whined, jumping up and down.

“What is all of this?” Violet asked, flipping a box flap back.

“You know how you bought Piper all kinds of stuff? Well, this is me buying Olly all kinds of stuff,” I explained, scooping Olly up horizontally so he would quit fighting me. “Hey, we have rules for using these and we are going over them before you even touch them.”

“Nice ‘Dad’ voice,” Violet joked as she and Piper pulled the plastic covered clothing out of the two boxes. When she pulled out a bright purple sports bra, her eyebrow quirked in question.

“And maybe a few things for you,” I told her with a shrug. “Under Armour was offering up a lot of free stuff. Don’t open the smaller box yet, though.”

It was then time to go over the rules of golf clubs. “You only use the clubs when an adult, and that excluded Pete, is present. If we are here, then we can putt just about anywhere, but no hitting the ball hard like we do on the course of driving range. If, and only if, we have the driving net out may you hit the ball hard and into the air. We will go to the driving range and we will teach you,” I did my best to explain things to a five-year-old, albeit a smart five-year-old. “Do you agree?”

“Yes,” he called out.

I bounced him a few times, “Do you promise?”

“Yes,” he squealed while laughing. “James!”

"No swinging in the house. You just hold them," I told him before sitting him and the bag down.

"You didn't have to do all this," Violet spoke softly as I sat down next to her on the sofa. Piper was crinkling a t-shirt still in the thin plastic bag in her tiny hands.

"You didn't have to help me," I explained, pulling the bag away from Piper's mouth as she went to chew on it. "I cannot even begin to repay you for all you've done."

"You repaid me last night," she told me, voice wavering as tears pricked the corners of her eyes.

"Hey, don't do that," I quickly whispered, one arm draping over her shoulders and the other across Piper, pulling them both into my side. "You're safe. Nothing happened. Sure something could have, but it didn't. And I'm not going to let anyone even try to hurt you again," I sealed it with a kiss to the top of her head.

Last night changed things. It changed how Violet reacted. It changed the way I looked at things when it came to her. I had been a bad friend. I was indirectly to blame and I had a lot of making up to do. She was my best friend and I hadn’t treated her as such. I had been taking advantage of her generosity and it was like a slap in the face to realize it.

Once Olly had taken every golf club out of the bag to inspect, I called him over to open his other box. Inside were different shirts and shorts from the gold apparel company I preferred - and had done a photoshoot for. A few of the shirts matched ones I had myself. Fuck Geno, Olly was gonna look up to me. I planned to steal the title of favorite if it killed me.

The biggest surprise for Olly was Robs had told me I could bring him in while I’m training. Tomorrow he would tag along and Robs had a few things created just for Olly. Hopefully having Olly around would keep Robs from literally murdering me tomorrow. Or it would do the exact opposite and he’d cause me to puke and cry in front of Olls.

It was no surprise everyone called it an early night. Stress had taken a toll on everyone. Once Olly and Piper were down and their door closed, Violet wrapped her arms tight around my waist. Standing in the hallway with my arms wrapped around her shoulders, Violet broke down again. Slowly I walked her into my room, taking a seat on the bed and pulling her down on my lap where she cried into my neck.

That night she slept in my bed, clinging to my waist. My heart hurt for her and I knew even the attempted assault could leave lasting effects on women. Extracting myself from her arms the next morning was tough, but I needed to get breakfast in both Olly and myself before heading down to Toronto for training.

The look on Pete’s face when I finally made it down the the kitchen after splashing my face, well he found something really humorous. Mike had already started getting our eggs scrambled and slicing the avocado. A few sips of coffee and I was back up the stairs to wake Olly. His hair stood in every direction when I got him and Piper down to the kitchen. Pete just ruffled it more when he helped in up onto the barstool. Our pediatrician here in Canada had told mom a few new foods to introduce to Piper and watch for reactions. Scrambled eggs were one of them and we were thankful she didn’t have any reactions, because she loves them. Her breakfast has consisted of her bottle, eggs, and either some pureed fruit or a little banana cut up small for her. She really does well at picking up the small pieces of egg and banana.

Looking back, I’m not sure what I would do without Mike this summer. He had filled a spot vacated by Violet. A plate had been made to keep warm for her, and a bottle was warmed for Pipes before I knew it.

“Go brush your teeth, wash your face, and get dressed in one of your new outfits,” I told Olly while picking up Piper and she greedily drank her bottle. “Not the golf outfits,” I called after him as he ran out of the kitchen.

“Aw, dad, you ruin all the fun,” Pete joked as he followed Olly up the stairs, coffee in hand.

“Uncle Pete is crazy,” I told Piper as we followed everyone else’s paths up the stairs.

In my bedroom, Violet was still asleep with her left arm lying straight out, like she had tried finding me once I was gone. This caused a pull in my chest. I should have woken her up rather than just leaving her. When Piper saw Violet, she wiggled and reached out herself, wanting to get to the bed. I haven’t seen her drop her bottle and scurry across to someone as quickly as she had for Violet in that moment. The head butt alone should have been enough to wake Violet up, but the squeal sealed the deal.

Violet groaned before smiling, eyes still closed as pull Piper into her chest. “Morning snuggles are the best,” she mumbled into the top of Piper’s head.


	14. Home Alone Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It feels too good to let it end right here (I ain't going home alone home tonight)  
>  So lets not let it end, let it end right here (girl you're going home with me tonight)_
> 
> _So lets go shot for shot for shot 'til we forgot what we came here to forget_  
>  Ain't a clock, a tick, a tock that's gonna stop a night we won't regret  
> So put your drink down, throw your camera up, flip it around and snap a payback picture  
> I'll Send it to my ex, I'll send it to my ex and send ‘em both a text  
> Saying we ain't going home alone tonight  
> Girl you ain't gotta, I ain't gotta go home alone tonight 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm a horrible person. I know. All I can say is I'm sorry. Life and my new city have kept me busy and entertained for a long while. I had this chapter basically written for a while, I'm not happy that it's shorter. But it didn't make sense to force it to be more.

My alarm clock had been the cutest alarm clock since Olly. Mom and Evelyn had woken me up like James had a couple times, but there is a big difference between Olly and Piper at this age. Olly was never as cuddly as Piper. She loves to be snuggled. Olly wanted down every time someone picked him up and would throw an unholy fit until he was back on the ground. Piper will curl right into you and lie her head on your shoulder. She loves to play with long hair or necklaces, tangling her little hands in there and pulling. 

Piper and I spent the day with Deb and Becka. Lunch at a local favorite, shopping for the kids, and exchanges of stories. It wasn’t until Becka’s best friend picked her up when it was just Deb and I that she started with the questions.

“I know you don’t want to talk about the other night, so all I’ll say is I’m here when you need to talk,” Deb offered as Piper and I sat in the floor of the Neal family home. “But let’s talk about the trade. How are you handling that news?”

“I mean, I’m not thrilled that I won’t get to watch her come September. With Olly in school, I’ll be twiddling my thumbs at home for something to do. I can’t exactly work part-time as a lawyer. That’s a lifestyle I cannot handle with a five-year-old,” I explained as Piper pressed buttons on the VTech toy. “I know I told him that he would need to find permanent help, but now that I can’t offer, I’m crushed.”

“You’ve gotten used to them being in your life,” Deb commented, sipping on her cup of tea. “They’ve gotten used to you and Olly in their lives.”

“What can we do though? He can’t just say ‘no sorry, I’m staying in Pittsburgh. Trade me back’. It doesn’t work like that,” I shook my head, letting Piper crawl over towards me. 

“You could move to Nashville,” Deb quirked an eyebrow. 

“That’s not an option and you know it.” I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes. My own father had asked if I would be moving from Pittsburgh once Olly had cried himself to sleep the night of the trade. 

“Would you be happier being in the same city as them? Because they would be happier with you and Olly in the same city as them,” Deb pushed, pursing her lips tightly. 

“Of course I would, if that city was Pittsburgh,” I admitted, pulling Piper into my lap to sit with a plush book she was chewing on. 

She just didn’t understand, there was no way I was uprooting my life, Oliver’s life, to move 7 hours away for a friend and his daughter. No matter how much I loved Piper, I couldn’t do that. I was not going to be a babysitter for a professional hockey player. My law degree is worth a lot more than being a nanny.

We didn’t have time to debate the wishful thinking Deb and my parents shared. Bursting in the front door Olly kicked his shoes off haphazardly as he called for me and “Nana”. God do I love him, but the little turd sure isn’t helping my case. 

“Mommy, Nana, look!” he squealed, causing Piper to startle slightly then start crawling her way from my lap. “Look, look. I look like James! Gary even made me my own special protein shake,” he exclaimed, show us a Blender Bottle with something beige in it. 

“You’re gonna get bigger and stronger than James and Michael,” Deb fed into his excitement and reached out for him to come sit with her. 

“It’s a smoothie. No protein powder,” James whispered as he bent down to snatch up Piper as she crawled towards Olly.

"Gary let me sit on James as he did push-ups. And then I was a monkey while he did chin ups," Olly continued excitedly. 

"Yeah the others only had max thirty pounds on their waste and I have a fifty pound monkey on my back. It was great," James grumbled sarcastically. 

"Well at least it was just one day," I offered. 

"Ha! If only. Gary invited him back the rest of your trip. Thank God we are going to the lake this weekend. I can lift on my own," James explained, rolling his eyes. 

"Nuh-uh, Gary said I'm your trainer next week!" Olly laughed loudly. "I get a clipboard and all!"

The excitement continued into the evening as Deb and I whipped up a big family dinner. It was a tame, family evening. Boring to some, but while we spent time together, it was pretty perfect after the last 48 hours. 

The next morning I was slightly shocked to find James in my bed again. It was early, an hour before he had to be up to go train with Gary. Just like the last two nights, I was cuddled into his side with his arms protectively around me. His reaction was cool as a cucumber when he told me he couldn’t sleep. However, the next morning when I woke up in his bed and had no recollection of moving from the guest room to his, I was slightly more worried. It was becoming a pattern. 

It had been four days since the night we will never forget, John and Steven wanted to meet out for dinner before we headed up to the lake. Once Becka had shown up to watch the kids for the evening, James, Mike, and I drove closer into Toronto to meet the others. Both men greeted me with hugs and asked how I was, John lingering cautiously to be certain. I let him know I was coping and thanked him catching me before I fell to the cement. Steven had received many thanks from James for grabbing everyone when he saw the guys leading me out of the bar. For which, James announced tonight was on him. 

In an attempt to convince James to at least split the bill fifty-fifty with me, I lost. “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have left you alone. I owe them. I owe you,” he stated matter of factly.

Dinner was nice. They had picked a meat and potatoes place with a nice wine list. So nice, even Sidney would have appreciated the bottles we ordered. 

"So PK is having a party on one of the rooftop bars downtown," Steven offered, as the group finished their wine. 

"Sounds like it could be fun," James offered, looking over towards me. 

"I don't know. I'm not really up for a party or being around a bunch of people I don't know with alcohol around," I tried explaining. 

"I won't leave your side," he pleaded, his hand finding my upper back just above where the wooden chair ended. 

"You go ahead. I'll catch a car back to your place, or the train. The train is probably cheaper. I'll call your mom and have her pick me up at the station," I started planning an escape from being made to travel further into Toronto. 

"You aren't riding the train," James' voice was hard and commanding. "I do not feel comfortable letting you venture back to Whitby alone."

"I'll go with her," Mike spoke up. "We can take your car and Stammer can bring you and Pete home tonight or tomorrow."

James was reluctant to hand over his keys. But ultimately after a little chiding from Steven and Pete, he dropped them in Mike’s palm. When we parted ways at the valet stand, James whispered that he would be home that night in my ear as he hugged me tight.

The ride back to the house was mostly quiet. Mike and I were still uncomfortable around each other; trying to feel the other person out. It was late enough when we got to the house that both kids were asleep and Becka was lying with her feet over the back of the couch. Her hair fell over the edge of the cushion while she typed furiously on her cellphone. I was quite certain she was going to drop it right on her face. 

"You guys are back earlier than I thought. Does that mean I can leave? Jessica and Bridget want to go driving," she flipped around quickly looking behind us. "James still outside? Think he would let me borrow the G-wagon?"

"He's still with Stammer and John. And you know he would never let you drive his truck. Are you crazy?" Mike rebutted with disbelief. 

"Worth a shot," she shrugged. A series of fast texts were sent from her phone while Mike and I kicked off our shoes and grabbed waters. "Pipes went down at around 8:30, Olly fell asleep by 9:25 watching Despicable Me."

As quickly as we had arrived, Becka was gone. 

We would be driving up to the lake cottage the following evening. Our trip was so jam packed with things going on, it didn't feel like a vacation at all - not that life was all that stressful. The lake came with a promise of lying in the sun next to the water as it lapped against the shore, sitting by a fire as the wood crackled and roasting marshmallows, and sitting on a boat watching for a floater to bob in the water. 

James had gone on and on with summer cottage stories. Most involving he and Michael playing a trick on Pete, which makes it my belief just added to Pete's middle child syndrome. 

When thinking of cottage and summer treats or food to make, my first thought was homemade ice cream cookie sandwiches. And I had intended to prep the cookies earlier in the week, but with the circumstances I hadn't gotten the chance. Plus Pete and Olly would have gotten into them. After changing into lounge clothing and brushing the red wine from my teeth, I set about gathering the ingredients to mix up the chocolate chip cookies. 

“It’s after ten o’clock, you’re going to bake now?” Mike questioned as he grabbed the last Gatorade from the fridge. 

“Yes, it’s the only way to keep Olly and Pete from eating them all like they did the Timbits we got the other day. I only got two of them. Took Pipes for a diaper change, came back to the rest of the 40 pack gone, and Olly had a stomach ache,” I explained as I began measuring out ingredients. “Can you put some more Gatorade in the fridge. James will want one in the morning, then you’ll all need them after training tomorrow.”

“Yes, Mom,” Mike joked, walking out to the garage to grab a flat. “You and James are super close. I don’t even think his longest buddies know his habits like that. I only know because he asks me to toss him one every morning,” he asked, noisily placing the bottles on the top shelf.

“I’m a mom as you said. It’s part of what I do. It’s like knowing Olly and Piper will need a snack on the way to the lake since dinner will be later than normal. Piper’s going to sleep later than normal tomorrow, because she chased Olly around the back yard earlier. And Olly will ask to room with Nick because he thinks they are best friends,” I rattled off a few things I knew would occur. 

“So similar to you and James ending up in the same bed, we just know that’s going to happen,” Mike stated, a mischievous smirk shot into my direction. 

“I-uh, after the other night, it’s uh, it’s tough to be alone,” I tried explaining. It was tough to explain to a guy, but even more because I didn’t have a problem being alone. I just felt safer with James beside me. “I just needed him.”

“He needs you too,” Mike murmured, his features softening. “You really don’t understand how much of an impact you have had on him. He couldn’t take it when the other night happened. He sat for all of two minutes once they got you in the room, then he paced until they let us back to where you were. And then paced some more. He really cares for you. And Olly too.” 

“We really care about them, too,” I told MIke, planting my hands on the countertop. “So, you going to help me bake or are you going to continue and yap about your brother?”

✦✦✦✦

The house lights were still on when I wrangled a drunk Pete through the front door. The party was no fun, and then Stammer’s girlfriend called upset about God knows what. I didn’t think I would come home to people still awake, much less a squeal and giggle I knew was coming from Violet. Rounding the corner the scene in front of my eyes made my jaw clench and my fingers curl into my palm.

“Stop,” she pleaded in a humoring way as Mike held her close and threatened to spray her with the faucet sprayer. 

Clearing my throat caused them both to jump apart, the sprayer clanging off the cabinets and spraying them anyway. “James,” Violet greeted me, her smile never wavering. “You didn’t stay out long.”

“Party wasn’t much fun, someone got wasted. Looks like you guys had fun,” I couldn’t keep the snarly tone from escaping. 

“Made some cookies for the trip up to the lake,” Violet told me in a very nonchalant way. Like she and Mike hadn’t been flirting heavily when I walked in. 

“Cookies?” Pete called out drunkenly from my side. 

 

“No way. You don’t get any cookies tonight. You get Gatorade and a peanut butter sandwich,” Violet instructed, grabbing the bottle from the fridge. “Can one of you get him upstairs, the other make the sandwich, and I’ll find some aspirin.”

“You take him, I’ll make the sandwich,” Mike decided, giving me a pointed look before glancing towards Violets retreating form and back to me again. “Not trying to steal your toy, so put your claws away. We all know, she's yours,” he added, dropping his voice. 

“Not mine. She's my friend. My friend who is off limits to my brothers,” I spat at him. “And you were there. You saw what she went through. So make the damn sandwich and shut your mouth.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he grumbled as I turned to get Mike up the stairs. “Who's sleeping in whose bed tonight?”

The next morning I couldn't hold in the groan as Mike quirks his eyebrow while sipping his coffee. “So you must have been in the bathroom when I walked by your open bedroom door this morning. And when did you start making your bed?”

“Shut the fuck up,” I mumbled, pouring myself a cup of coffee before going back upstairs to get Piper and Olly up. 

“Aw, dad’s letting mom sleep in, is kids gotta be quiet,” Pete chuckled over his cereal as I brought both kids downstairs.

“You’ve gotta be fu-flipping kidding me,” I growled, watching my two brothers snort and laugh. They really thought they were so funny.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Hold, hold on, hold onto me  
>  'Cause I'm a little unsteady  
> A little unsteady  
> Hold, hold on, hold onto me  
> 'Cause I'm a little unsteady  
> A little unsteady_

While the drive to the lake house isn’t that long, it’s my first ever road trip with kids in the car. Last trip, mom had driven up with Piper and Becca a day early, and then Mike, Pete and I drove back a day later. I’ve heard the horror stories, Violet even prepared me for a meltdown. Especially for the time of day we were driving up, Piper would probably throw a fit over not being able to see Violet or I’s faces. Hopefully Olly can entertain her enough from his booster seat. An hour and a half with no stops - let’s face it, we will be stopping at least once. I swear Olly has a bladder the size of a peanut. 

We made great time, stopping twice. Once for Olly, the second for Olly and Piper who decided to meltdown because her giraffe Nubbawub fell towards the car door and Olly couldn’t get to it. The sharp squeals increased until it was hiccuping sobs. We pulled off at the closest gas station to calm the crying which only spurred Olly to have to pee again. 

“No! I want James to take me,” he pleaded as we unbuckled. A glance and nods were exchanged as we chose the easiest route towards a cry-free car ride. The G-wagon was loaded down with things mom and I had picked up for the trip and I knew it would take a long enough time to get unloaded as it was. 

Pulling into the gravel drive of the lake house, I could see Nick and Dad in the back I stacking chairs and rolling the umbrella out. Olly took off towards them, jumping into Dad’s arms like they hadn't just seen each other earlier in the day. Nicky took over showing him down to the dock and pointing out different things. 

When they made their way back up the lawn mom and Becka had come outside to help carry bags inside. “Olly, come here for a second,” Violet called, passing Piper over to me. 

“Oliver, there are some rules about the lake, ok?” She paused, waiting for him to nod. “You are not to go down to the water without someone with you. That means Mommy, James, Nana, Grandpa Pete, or any other adults need to be with you. You do not stick a toe in the water without an adult present. These are the same rules as you have at GiGi and Grandpa’s house ok?”

“Yes, I’m not a baby, Momma,” Olli all but grumbled. 

“You may be five, and you may be a good swimmer, but bad things can happen,” Violet steeled as she spoke these words. The pain setting into her eyes was profoundly obvious. “And no one here wants something bad to happen to you,” she finished.

“Nope, we want to keep you around. Who’s gonna help me teach Pipes to shoot a puck?” I backed her up. 

“Aw, look at that. Dad’s backing Mom up,” Pete spouted off as he and Mike made themselves known. “So touching.” This caused both of my parents to shoot looks my way as I rolled my eyes. 

Everyone was settled into rooms; Mike and Pete weren’t happy they got placed in the room with bunk beds with Olly and Nick. They grumbled a few times under their breath what made it fair that Becka was going to end up in a room by herself. Mom had given Becka and Violet the room with the two double beds, leaving the only other single bed room besides the master to Piper and myself. 

Setup continued, setting out chairs that were put in the shed after our last trip, placing cushions out, getting the fire pit ready for later, and warming up the grill. Dad and I were building a fire for after dinner, while Mike arranged chairs and got sticks ready for roasting marshmallows.

“So, you’ve had a good week aside from the incident the first night,” Dad led the conversation. “How’s she doing?”

“She’s coping fairly well. Had a nightmare or two,” I explained a little while rolling newspaper to stuff between logs. “She didn’t want to be out in a crowd of people she didn’t know when we went out with Stammer and John. Doesn’t really like being alone.”

“Especially at night, can’t sleep alone. Right James?” Mike egged the conversation on. “You may want to talk to James about a few things if you don’t want to have a third grandchild soon.” And he darted off to grab more sticks.

“You and Violet? Took you long enough,” Dad questioned, his voice lifting an octave. 

“What? No. We aren’t-don’t listen to Mike and Pete. They don’t understand how men and women can just be friends,” I tried to explain. “She doesn’t feel safe at night.”  
`  
“And what about you? Doesn’t sound like she’s the only who’s having trouble sleeping,” Dad pushed for more information. So what if I can’t sleep that well because I worry about her. To end the conversation I rolled my eyes and asked about what time we would be getting up the next morning to go out fishing. 

Dinner was a quick meal of grilled chicken and vegetables, something Olly would eat a lot of so that he wouldn’t get a stomach ache on S’mores later. It felt eyes were all on me at dinner though. Between Olly not wanting the chair between Violet and I, shoving me down so he could sit on the other side of me, then how he climbed into my lap asking if we were going to go golfing. 

After dinner, Violet took Piper up for a bath while I got Olly through a shower. Mike and Pete got dish duty and grumbled about it the entire time. Piper was still splish-splashing as Olly ran passed the door in his pajama bottoms, still throwing on his t-shirt, yelling for Nicky. Piper was giggling and splashing water everywhere. Violet’s hair was pulled up into a high bun as she knelt by the tub corralling the toys and attempting to rub her down with a soapy washcloth. 

“Hey, you ladies almost done?” I questioned from the doorway, moving to sit on the closed toilet as Piper worked on pouring water into a funnel and not quite having the fine motor skills to do it.

“Say we’re playing Dad. Let us play,” Violet spoke for Piper, no doubt making a funny face and causing her to light up and giggle. 

“Vi, I wanted to talk to you about something,” I tried to start, stopping take a deep breath. She turned to where she was able to look at both Piper and I before I started speaking again. “I think, at least while we’re here, we need to make sure one of us doesn’t end up in the other’s bed. I know it’s a comfort thing, but Mike and Pete are starting shit and I think we should just cool it a little. I mean you’re only in Canada for a little longer, so why set it up for either of us to have trouble sleeping when you go back to Pittsburgh.”

“Oh, ok,” her face dropped. Fuck.

“Look, it’s not-it’s-I don’t want to you to not feel safe when you leave and have to sleep alone. And I don’t want to lose sleep wondering if you are ok,” I reasoned with her. Her chin was pointed towards the floor as she nodded softly. I can’t stand to see her sad, just like I can’t stand to see Piper or Olly sad. “If worst comes to worst, then ok. But we should try,” I added, pulling her into my arms.

The night went on around the fire talking, laughing, and drinking. Olly and Nick made S’mores, Becka, Mom, and Violet sipped on glasses of sangria, and both Mike and Dad eyed me curiously when Violet brushed me off as I patted the empty spot next to me when she returned from putting Piper down. Leave it to me to trigger the most emotional reaction from Violet I had seen yet. 

Getting to sleep that night was not the easiest, but years of training my body to rest when I needed it to got me to dreamland. The next morning as Dad and I got up to go fish a little before Pete and Nick stirred up the wake, Violet was already up, dark circles showing under her eyes. I couldn’t help but to feel guilty. She had trouble sleeping and I was to blame. I could only hope she would nap during the day and sleep better that night.

Just like the morning before, Violet looked like the walking dead. The dark circles were almost purple today. “Hey, go back to bed. You need to sleep,” I told her, rubbing her shoulders.

“I’m fine,” she shrugged me off, going to make a fresh cup of coffee. “Do you want breakfast now?”

“Not yet, I’m going to get a run in before Ol wakes up, then eat before we leave to golf,” I fought to hug her as she leaned on the counter. 

 

“James, stop,” she grumbled, pushing and elbowing my ribs, never breaking free. 

“Go back up to bed. Hell, go grab Pipes and lie down in my bed with her. You need more rest,” I mumbled into her hair, squeezing her tightly.

“I’m fine,” she snapped. “Please get off me.” Sleep deprivation was getting the best of her. 

Seeing anyone you care about struggling after a traumatic incident is just as hard on you as them. Do you give them space, do you smother them with how much you care, or do you just act normal? Acting normal doesn’t seem to help. Just like she waited me out in April, I was going to have to wait her out now. 

The morning run and golf with dad, Mike, and Olly went well. Olly was kind of scary with a driver, but the kid had aim. We putted around the practice greens and ran through a couple buckets or five at the driving range before the four of us - three really - played 18 holes while Olly learned to keep score. We had snacks in the clubhouse and piddled around the Pro Shop before deciding to head back to the house. 

The girls were out on the deck sunbathing. The monitor sat on a table far away from a bikini clad Violet, who looked to finally be sleeping. 

“Momma, golfing is so much fun!” Olly exclaimed running over quickly. So much for Violet getting some sleep. 

While he held her attention, mom silently let me know she had only slept for about thirty minutes. We could only hope she would get some sleep tonight. 

Dinner consisted of grilled chicken, corn on the cob, steamed on the grill squash and zucchini, and roasted potatoes. My mom was an amazing cook. She had to be with 4 hockey players to feed. 

After dinner instead of playing games or sitting around the fire, Olly and Nick picked a movie for us all to watch. Pete had just taken the last seat beside Violet on the sofa when I thumbed for him to go squeeze into the love seat with mom and Oliver. 

It was still early. The sun hadn't begun setting over the lake, but halfway through the movie Olly and Violet had fallen asleep. Olly was draped over Pete and Mom’s laps while Violet slumped with her head on my shoulder. 

“If you all get him in bed, then I'll deal with this one?” They agreed to carrying him up once the movie was over. No way I was carrying her up the stairs. I would kill both of us by missing one step. “Vi, come on, let's go up to bed.” I whispered, shaking her gently. 

Manhandling her as gently as possible, I walked her up the stairs as she leaned heavily against me. “I'm sorry I snapped at you this morning,” she groggily mumbled, pulling me into a hug, her arms loose around my waist.

“It's ok,” I reasoned, pulling her closer. The scent of her shampoo and lotion hitting me hard. 

“No, it's really not. There is no situation that makes it ok. It was bratty and mean,” she explained, her words hitting my collarbone before my ears. “You and your family mean too much to Oliver and I for me to treat you that way. I'm sorry.”

“Apology accepted. Now come on. Let's go to bed,” I ended the conversation pulling away slightly. Violet then pulled to move further away. “Where are you going?”

“To bed, like you said.”

“I said ‘let’s go to bed’, be quiet and don't wake Piper,” I told her, opening the bedroom door and tugging her inside behind me. If she needed security to sleep, then I would give it to her. 

“James,” she spat in a whisper.

“Shh,” I hushed her, pointing towards the crib. “Piper’s sleeping.”

“But you said,” she motioned towards the both of us, and then the bed. 

“And look how that worked, you didn’t sleep,” I told her as harshly as I could in a whisper, while turning the bed down. “Now get in the bed.” 

When I formulated the plan to get her to sleep, I figured she would be dead asleep in ten minutes, or she would lie away for an hour wanting to talk. She was out in five minutes flat. Little puffs of air hit the skin on my chest exposed by my loose tank top. Through the night she never woke up, but she woke me up talking in her sleep a few times. Babbling nonsense then burrowing her face into my shoulder. 

Babbling was what woke me up at seven-am. It was coming from the crib along the wall. Little luddles repeated over and over as Piper flicked her tongue back and forth. Her favorite way to mimic anyone when they babbled back. Thankfully she was content, not crying, but probably had a wet diaper and was hungry for breakfast. She was just going to have to lie there until it was absolutely necessary to get her up.

That lasted no more than ten minutes.

“Da-da-da-da-da,” she chanted from the crib. “Da-da-da-da-da,” getting louder. Why cry when you can progressively start yelling for your father?

“Ok, I hear ya,” I whispered loud enough for her to hear me as I started extracting myself from Violet’s vice grip.

“Urmm-no,” Violet grumbled, holding me tighter and rolling her face into my neck. 

“Piper is awake and needs changed,” I reasoned, tossing the blankets off my body.

“No,” she protested again, which was followed by a squeal from the crib. “Ugh, ok,” she said rolling over and burrowing back into the pillows and blankets. 

As I walked out into the hall, Mom was coming back up with a cup of coffee for Dad. “How did she sleep?” Mom asked, pausing to lean into kiss Piper’s head. 

“Not getting out of bed yet. She grumbled and then rolled over to go back to sleep. I’d say she doesn’t get up until ten or eleven,” I told her, adjusting Piper in my arms.

She offered to take Piper for me, but I shrugged it off. I need to get breakfast in myself and Piper before working out. Giggles and scrambled eggs first thing in the morning were always welcome. I still found it hard to believe just three months ago she was dropped on my doorstep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, life happens. When you stare at a computer screen for 8 hours a day at work, you don't want to stare at one at home. I'm determined to get this story finished. I'm thinking no more than 5 more chapters. Just bare with me. I apologize.


	16. Tangled Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want more than what this is  
> My lips are busy kissin' you  
> So I'd just like to stay  
> One more night in paradise  
> It feels so right to me 'cause girl
> 
> I'm tangled up  
> I can't ever get too much  
> I'm tangled up

A two week Canadian vacation turned into a month long trip. Oliver learned basic golf technique, which resulted in a few bruised shins for James. Grampa Pete taught him to cast his own fishing line. Only catching Pete in the scalp once. All this did was further knit us into a family we had no real ties to claim. And Olly wasn’t the only one with new tricks during our trip. Sure we had plans to visit, but those were separated by weeks. 

It had been four weeks since I had watched Piper take three steps towards Olly. Four weeks since I had cuddled the crying girl as we loaded up the truck to head towards the airport. Four weeks since Olly pouted the entire trip from Whitby to Pittsburgh. Four weeks since Olly had his first big attitude problem. 

In those four weeks, Olly had started school. He enjoyed meeting the kids in his class. Enjoyed showing off how good he was getting at writing his name in the lines, drawing shapes, and sounding out simple words. He was excited about school, but he was more excited about flying to Nashville. 

He barely slept last night. Olly begged and begged to sleep with me. Every hour or so, I was shaken awake. “Momma, do you think James will remember to get my juice?” or “Mommy, are you sure Nana Deb and Grampa Pete are going to be there? I really miss them. Should we just go to Whitby instead?” His anxiety about not seeing someone he obviously cares about caused me to only getting a few hours sleep before getting up to catch our flight. 

Two years ago, on only my third flight since Ezra had died, three year-old Olly and I had flown into the same airport for my cousin’s Nashville wedding. In the small weekend, I had loved the city. All the food was amazing and the people were top-notch. Not to mention a city with Publix, Whole Foods, Kroger, and Trader Joe’s. 

Walking off the concourse into Baggage Claim, Olly was jumping on the balls of his feet trying to spot someone we knew. By the luggage belt where our bag would come out, the tall, lanky body with horrible hair stood dancing back and forth with Piper. “James!” Olly squealed, pulling loose of my hand to run right for him. I’m not sure how he managed it, maybe just hockey player balance, but he scooped Olly up in his free arm. Holding both kids, Olly who had a death grip on his neck, and Piper who was now bouncing with joy, James had never looked happier. The belt hadn’t started moving by the time I stood in front of him, pulling Piper into my own arms. Soon the four of us stood huddled together waiting for the luggage. I had never felt a such a weight lifted from my shoulders. 

When we finally pulled up in front of the house James had purchased just south of the city, I was amazed. The house was gorgeous. A contemporary mix of right angles and stone work. “I bought it off one of the guys in Kings of Leon,” he boasted gleefully, proud of himself for living in the same house as a member of his favorite band. “It’s not all ready, mom has been buying things to decorate it and said she wanted your help this weekend. But the important rooms have furniture and are decorated. Piper’s room is amazing. Mom has really outdone herself.”

The house was all high ceilings, large windows, and gorgeous plank floors. A large front room was mostly empty, except for a brand new farm style dining table with fabric backed chairs. “Mom found Restoration Hardware. Said we needed a dining table big enough for all of us,” he commented as we stood in the stone floored entryway. The rest of the room would be a formal sitting room once the sofa and chairs were delivered in the coming weeks. 

“James, is that you,” Deb called from around the corner. Which caused Olly to yell out for her and take off running towards the back of the house. 

We found them hugging in a gorgeous kitchen. Dark walnut cabinets, Subzero fridge and freezer surrounded by pantry cabinets and double oven, nice island, and a huge Viking range. This was way more kitchen than the non-cook James would need. Grey mini-subway tiles wrapped the backsplash. Opposite of the kitchen was a wall of windows and the family room where James’ big leather sofa had new cozy armchair friends. A built-in cabinet held a few photos on it’s top, the biggest being of the lot of us from over the summer at the lake. Finally looking out the back windows, I couldn’t believe the gorgeous patio, pool and spa. Behind two big sliders off the family room and front sitting room was a slate tiled sunroom with it’s own balcony sitting area. I had seen three rooms and I was floored with how gorgeous the house was. And by how different from his Pittsburgh and Whitby houses it was. The views of the foothills beat the golf course anyday.

The master is on the main floor, off the left of the kitchen. It was sparse except for furniture; a brand new king-sized bed and matching nightstands, padded bench sitting at the foot of it, a cozy loveseat - which looked a lot like the one from Pottery Barn in my bedroom, and a monstrosity of a TV opposite the bed. The bed was a low fabric headboard, tufted, but very simplistic, while the nightstands were made in the fashion of an old printer's cabinet. Drawers made to look thin and scalloped drawer pulls. It was a very nice look. “The dressers were on a longer delivery schedule. Should be here next week. One will go under the TV and then another over here,” James pointed out before leading me into the ensuite bath. 

His and her vanities sit opposite each other with a large soaker tub, I was envious of, snug between on the wall under a large window. The shower was large, but nothing like my own or my parents’. River pebbles accented the large granite tiles and antiqued gray cabinets. The bathroom led into a huge walk-in closet, the white cabinets and shelves only a fourth full. 

“Mom is doing all the decorating. She gives me so many options and I just have to chose the one I like the best. So don’t think I’m all fancy and shit,” he joked as we walked back into the bedroom. 

“It’s really nice James,” I told him, adjusting Piper in my arms. “Where’s this girl’s room?”

“Upstairs. It’s where all the other rooms are. It looks amazing,” he explained, motioning me out the door and towards the stairs. He pointed out a small room which he said would be an office later on across from his bedroom, but only held a leather sofa he said was a sleeper. The second floor landing was a room in it’s own, and would serve as a small play area for Piper - a few toys and a mat already out. A small sitting area sat half a flight of stairs up into tower which James explained would house a comfy sectional and a couple low bookcases, causing me to joke about when was the last time he had read a book. “Piper is going to read. She’s going to be smarter than me,” he confessed with a smile. 

There were three rooms on this floor. One was bright and held a nice queen-sized bed with a tall, tufted padded headboard; it would be the main guest room, and where I would be sleeping. Piper’s room was huge. It held her crib which Deb and I had picked as well as a queen sized bed. The walls had a nice lattice wallpaper to accent the medallion print on the quilt. In front of the three panel window was a tufted loveseat with new lamb and giraffe stuffed animals. The corner holds a cute poodle rocker; in the far corner of the room, on the other side of the bed, a big bean bag chair covered in faux fur. Deb and Peter were obviously camped out here by the clothes laid out on the bed and sofa. 

“James, I could have stayed in here. Let your parents have a rest,” I told him, watching as Deb chased Olly up the stairs. “Or even Olly, he could have slept in here,” I added.

“No, Olly has a surprise,” James replied with a nervous smile before glancing over at Deb who beamed. My brow furrowed and he ushered us out into the living room/playroom. “So, for months, Piper had her room at your place. I wanted Olly to have a place of his own here,” he continued, walking over to a closed door. 

“James, he is fine sleeping in a guest room,” I told him, my apprehension to what was going to happen next apparent. “I mean, we won’t even be here that often to warrant it. We won’t be back for six weeks and then who knows.”

“That’s not the point. I wanted him to have his own place here,” James offered, hand poised to turn the knob.

“I get my own room?!” Oliver exclaimed, eyes wide. Great, now there is no turning back.

“Yeah buddy, you get your own room. It and Piper’s rooms are the only two completely finished,” he remarked, pushing the door open for Olly to run through. 

“Wow!” Olly exclaimed. “It’s so cool.” He spun around in circles taking in it all. 

The bed was a reclaimed wood platform with a six-foot high back, two swing-arm sconces over each side. Four shelves staggered, split between each side. An album cover framed on each with a little knick-knacks and a Baby Taylor guitar. The Beatles, George Strait, Kenny Chesney, and Kings Of Leon. “Jared signed a few things and it looks good with the green and the blue,” James commented, motioning to the blue and green striped bed - Olly’s favorite colors. 

This room had a built-in bench seat below a double window. The walls were dark grey, and the ceiling stripped a lighter grey and a navy blue. On the wall opposite, there was a big “Olly’s Room” written in chalk beside a dresser with a television perched on top. A green bean bag chair was in one corner, just like Piper’s room. On each side of the bench seat, centered just perfectly were two framed jerseys: a black Penguins jersey with ‘71’ on the arms and a Predators ‘18’ jersey. 

“Momma, look!” Olly squealed, pointing at both. His excitement riled Piper up as she pushed and wiggled to be let down. Everything was so much, it was overwhelming. For six months I let them become my world. To me, this room was more than he meant for it to be. 

The evening settled down to, as Deb put it, family time. We all crowded on to the sofa and chairs for a while before Nick and Olly went upstairs to play a video game or watch a movie. Not only would I scoff if someone tried to take Piper from me, she had the same ideas. Even when she didn’t want held, she was standing in front of my legs with a toy. Bath time was our one-on-one time, followed by cuddles and a book at her bedtime. The feeling of relief washing over me as I held the sleeping girl was indescribable. Her little hand was fisted in my shirt. She had been getting so big and a month without holding her daily made me feel weak. Giggles were like musics to my ears, and hers were a symphony. So much time had gone by, James peeked his head in to see if she was asleep. Bath and bedtimes had taken over two hours. Two well spent hours. 

✦✦✦✦✦

I don’t know what I expected during their trip down to Nashville. Being in the same house, I couldn’t sleep the first night. Getting up to get a glass of water, I ended up outside her door and quietly pushing it open. Somehow she had been able to get to sleep, so her bed must be more comfortable than mine. Even if they are the same exact mattress. Her alarm - who sets an alarm on vacation? - woke both of us at eight. Confusion passed over her features quickly upon finding me in her bed, cuddled right up next to her. But it was gone and she was telling me to get up, we were going to the Pancake Pantry for breakfast and we had to go early to beat the lines. They ended up being some of the best pancakes I’ve ever had - sorry Mom.

Saturday was spent around the pool and in the basement theater watching movies with kids. It may have been lazy and boring to some, but the seven of us didn’t need to go out in the mess of people. Sunday started much the same, up a little earlier to head down to Franklin for breakfast at Loveless Cafe - Mom and Violet had planned to hit up the famous Nashville places, Violet even chose a casual upscale place where we were going to dinner. 

For two days, we had basically traded kids. Sure, from time to time Piper wanted kisses from me, and she laughed at funny faces I had made, but she wanted Violet. And Olly was either climbing me, wanting to show me something that was ‘so cool’, or asking to sit beside of me. He wanted a new jersey and shirts to wear to school on Fridays. I wasn’t sure how well that may go over in Pittsburgh, but I called up the back office and asked for them to get me a goody bag for him together. 

It had taken everything I had not to tug on Violet's arm each night, pulling her into my room to sleep. Or worse, going to crawl in bed with her again. There had to be boundaries. If I wanted to cuddle so badly, then I should go out and find myself a girlfriend. The thought made my stomach sour. 

Dad wasn't helping things much at all. Monday was exceptionally hot and they kids couldn't stay outside in the pool all day, no matter how much they both wanted. The pool was riddled with toys Dad had thought Olly would enjoy, and we were left with the task of skimming the water of all of them. 

"How you holding up?" he questioned, wringing the water out of a Nerf ball.

"What d'ya mean?" I responded, answering his question with another.

"They're leaving. They won't be back for over a month. How are you going to hold up without them? Without her?" he clarified, intrigue showing with a quirked brow. 

"I-I'll be fine. I'll have-I'll have Mom here to help until I find a nanny or something more permanent," I sputtered, using the net to corral a water pistol. "It's not like my happiness and ability to be a good father to Pipes is correlated to her proximity."

"One, don't try and sound smart, you just end up sounding like Ben Affleck in Good Will Hunting. It doesn't land. And two, take a look around. You didn't buy this big house, all this new furniture, and ask her a thousand times if she liked it, without there being more to it," he gave his reasoning. And once I heard it, it actually made sense. 

"I'm not stupid," I grumbled, my shoulders slumping while I tried to get the last toys in without falling back into the pool. 

"I never said you were," he rebutted. "Look, I just see how happy you are around them. Not just Violet, Olly too. And Piper is the same way. I know you say there isn't anything there between the two of you. And you are lying to yourself."

Once all the toys were in the patio box, Dad left me standing in the shade. Every word he had spoke hit hard. Every item purchased for the house hit harder. Sure Mom had given me the options, but underneath my final choice was "what would Violet pick" or "how would she organize this?" It was like a punch to the gut. I had decorated the house in hopes of her liking it. Did Olly really need his own personalized room? No. But it was in hopes that he would. 

"Fuck, I'm in deep," I whispered out loud to myself as I gazed out over the rolling, green hills. But how deep? What did this mean? Or was it all just an attachment to an ideal neither of us could live up to being. In no way do I deserve her. And even if I could somehow be good enough for her, was it even an option. 

For the rest of the night I was jumpy. Everytime Violet or Olly said my name, I would jump out of my skin. And when she took the seat next to me on the patio couch around the fire pit, I almost made up and excuse to go inside for a minute. With Piper in her lap with a bottle and the fire glowing on her cheeks, she had never looked more beautiful. She was fresh from a shower, her hair hanging around her shoulders and not a speck of makeup gracing her tanned skin. 

Olly had hung off Dad and Nick most of the day, but he came up to my left and made me scoot over, closing the gap between Violet and I. My right arm had been resting on the cushion, and as Violet leaned over into my side, I couldn't stop myself from placing it across her shoulders. So there I sat, one arm tucking Olly into my side, and the other doing the same with Violet. 

It was their last night; their flight was leaving at noon tomorrow. Violet was upstairs lying a dead to the world Piper down in her crib, while Dad was supervising Nicky getting Olly to bed. Everyone was getting ready to sack out for the night and I was standing by the island in the kitchen. Mom patted me on the back, telling me she loved me before padding up the stairs.

It was quiet when her soft voice broke me from my trance. She was standing in her trademark black yoga pants and one of the tank tops that came for her in the Under Armour shipment. Black frame glasses were now perched on her nose as she spoke. "You ok? You look out of it, lost almost."

I watched as she pulled a bottle of water from the fridge before leaning next to me at the island. Something came over me and I didn't want her to go back up to the guest room. “Hey, come sit with me,” I whispered, unable to find my entire voice before leading her back out to the patio sofa. The fire pit is barely burning, embers glowing red-orange against the dark of night. 

“What’s up?” she questioned, sitting down sideways on the sofa next to me so she could look at my face. 

“Nothing,” I deflected, pulling on her upper arm. “I just wanted to spend time with you. You leave tomorrow and I feel like I haven’t gotten the chance to just hang out with you,” I added as she melted into my side. 

We sit talking about nothing, just basking in the September night air and the closeness. I can’t help thinking this could be us. We could do this after every home game. We could put Olly and Piper to bed, then sit down to watch tv or a movie. Or just talk like we had been. 

“James?” she broke into my thoughts quietly. She was looking up at me, brows posed in question. Had she just asked me something. “Are you that tired? Where did you just go?” she asked just as quietly. 

“Uh, yeah, I guess I am,” I brushed off the rush of feelings. I wanted to kiss her. Pull her into me and kiss her.

“C’mon, you should go to bed,” she explained, pulling out of my grasp to stand. Violet is in no way strong enough to pull me up, but she tugged my hand and led me off the sofa into the house. In the great room she shoved me towards the hall leading to my room. Quickly, I grabbed her wrist as she turned, pulling her into a hug. We stood for a few moments like that. Me holding her tightly to my chest. Not knowing what to do about these feelings I was having was almost too much. Do I just make my move and possibly run her off? Or do I just take what I can get? 

“St-could you-I mean only if you want, could you, uh, stay down here tonight?” I stumbled as she started to pull away. Smooth. “I just need you close by. Is that weird?” 

A small smile pulled the corners of her mouth and she shook her head. “No it’s not weird. Let’s go I’m tired.”

When we both crawled beneath the blankets, she laid down facing me. The humidity had brought out the natural wave to her hair and from the way the waves were lying on the pillow, it was like she had been posed. God, she was beautiful. 

“It’s been so odd not having you and Olly in the house. Everyone else made it easy to squash the feeling for the summer. But with it just being Mom here, it hits like a ton of bricks," I confessed, taking both of her hands from under her pillow and holding them tight in my own. "It's going to be even worse when you're gone this time," my voice dropped to a whisper as I went on. 

"My house is no different," she laughed lightly. "With all everyone out of town, plus you and Piper not coming back, my house just seems too big."

"Won't be long and G will be back to take up some of the space. And Ol's hockey starts back up in two weeks too," I reasoned. 

"Well, yeah. And Sid was back a few times once in June, twice this past month. He was mad I extended my stay in July. I was supposed to help him get a few of the guest rooms set up," she rattled on. Now that I was aware of my feelings, hearing her talk about plans she had made with my former captain pained my heart. 

He was, by all means, perfect. Sure he could be a dick from time to time, but he always made up for it. Successful, rich beyond necessary, good looking, and humble, Sid was perfect for Violet. He was the male version of her. I had to do something, and the only thing I could think of was to shuffle my face closer to hers quickly and stun her with a kiss. 

Soft and supple, her lips slotted against mine and with a little encouragement, I felt her press them more firmly. It was over in less than ten seconds, but when I pulled away slightly her eyes were wide and the same lips hung open in shock. Her eyes were searching for my reason for just kissing her and I just smiled sheepishly before pulling her close to tuck her head under my chin. 

"It's late. We should go to sleep," I whispered into her hair. It took a few minutes before she realized I would not be uncoiling my arms from around her shoulders and torso. Then she finally let the tension melt away some and gently threw her arm around my waist. 

I had either royally fucked our friendship, or got it on the path to something better. 

The next morning I woke up before Violet. After five minutes of just lying with her still in my arms, I slid out of bed in hopes to make a gesture to show my intentions behind the kiss. But halfway through frying her sausage and eggs to go with the pancakes and fruit I had planned, I was interrupted. 

"Smells good bro," Nick sniffed over my shoulder. "Make enough for me." He never tried to form a question with his words. 

"You can-," I started. 

"Mmm, are you making banana pancakes?" Olly asked sleepily while wrapping his arm around my leg. "Those are Mommy's favorite."

"I know Bub," I told him, feeling very defeated. It may not have been a grand gesture, but my attempt had been thwarted. When I looked up to see Violet standing in the doorway leading from the hall I couldn't stop another sheepish smile from pulling my lips. "Morning," I told her quietly. 

"Mommy look! James is making your favorite pancakes," Olly excitedly pointed to the box of Hungry Jack and bananas on the counter. 

"I see that," she told him, never breaking eye contact with me. 

And just like that the next round of Neals were shuffling into the kitchen. Mom handed Piper off to Violet and pushed me away from the stove, muttering how I would have burnt the house down. 

"You were making breakfast?" Dad questioned over his coffee mug with a smirk. I could feel my ears start to burn which just made him chuckle. 

"Shut up," I grumbled, throwing a grape at him before making my own cup of coffee. 

It came time to take them to the airport too soon. Dad and Nick had a flight out about the same time, so they sat in the back seat with Olly, giving Violet the front. My hand itched to reach over and lace our fingers together. It was too much with Nick and Dad in the car. Everyone had checked into their flights the day before, and even though Nick and Dad had to go to the international terminal, it didn’t stop Olly from dragging Nick inside after we said goodbye. Dad however gave me a hug, strong pat on the back, and a ‘do something’ glance before he followed them inside leaving Violet and I alone in the curbside drop-off. 

“I’m going to miss you,” I told her, pulling her tight against my chest not wanting to let her go. Things had gotten real in the last twelve hours and the thought of letting her go for six weeks was like a dagger to the heart. 

“I’ll miss you guys too,” she muttered into my shoulder. “We’ll talk and facetime though. We have somethings to talk about,” she added, pulling away slightly. Her right brow was quirked up. She wanted to know why I had kissed her, but we both knew it was too long a discussion to have while illegally parked in the departure drop-off lane. 

“Yeah,” I agreed, unable to not glance down at her lips. Fuck it, was all I thought before crashing my mouth against hers. Last night, last night’s kiss was, I guess, sweet. It wasn’t meant to do more than see if my new feelings were all for nothing. But this kiss, the way her lips parted when I nudged them open, the twist in my gut when she let me slide my tongue against hers, and her fingers clenching into my t-shirt, was so much more. 

“Hey, you can’t park here. Keep it moving,” airport security said as they walked over, the words pulling us apart. 

Violet was dazed to say the least. “I have to go,” I whispered, leaning in to kiss her softly. “See you in six weeks. Call when you land.”

“Yeah,” she got out a little breathlessly. Score one for this guy. “Ok,” she nodded, a flush traveling from her cheeks to her chest when she finally looked me in the eyes again. “Bye.” And just like that she turned and strode swiftly into the terminal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I couldn't force another chapter, and just had to get this one out there. I have had this chapter written for over a year. I added a little at the beginning but other than that, it has been waiting patiently for your viewing. The hope is you love this chapter as much as I do. 
> 
> Now just to finish Chapter 17.
> 
> -S


	17. Flowers In Your Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _So now I think that I could_  
>  Love you back  
> And I hope it's not too late cause you're so attractive  
> And the way you move  
> I won't close my eyes  
> Cause it takes a man to live  
> But it takes a woman to make him compromise 

How I got through six weeks, six weeks without knowing what James had been thinking when he kissed me, was beyond me. He dodged my leading or outright questions about either time. I honestly though I had dreamt the quick press of his lips on mine that night in his bed. But, the one at the airport had happened. I'm pretty sure my socks were still orbiting the earth with the force at which he knocked them off. 

He deflected, dodged, and redirected over text, phone, and even FaceTime. At this point I felt he would make a better goalie than forward. Honestly, I’m not sure why he had kissed me. People do crazy things when they feel like they are losing people. Could he have just kissed me to find a way to keep me around, or did he mean something by it. I refused to let myself hope one way or the other. 

The abrupt, short conversations with me were only confused even more by his lively, animated talks with Oliver. A few times James made sure he was still ranking number one to Olly since Geno was back in town. Which of course spawned a chat over how pretty Geno's girlfriend was. It was official, Oliver had a crush. 

Tonight, Deb and Piper were picking Olly and I up at the airport for a week long stay in Nashville. James will be out of town until tomorrow night, but with decorations still left to make and food to be prepared I decided to come early. 

We spent all day Saturday at Party City, and Michael’s between planning out what food to serve for a few kids and mostly adults. By the time I crawled into bed, I was seeing tissue paper flowers and striped paper straws even when I closed my eyes. When the bed moves behind me in the quiet of the night, I turned to cuddle Oliver into me, but I was met with a much larger torso. I woke with a start and a hand muffled my scream, causing me to flail about to get away. 

“Shhh,” I heard through low laughs. “It’s just me,” the low voice told me. Then it registered, James was home. 

I shoved him away and reach for my phone to see it was after two-am. “What are you doing? It’s the middle of the night and you think waking me up from a dead sleep is a good idea?” My heart was hammering in my ears, adrenaline coursed through my veins. “I’m never going to get back to sleep,” I told him, swatting at his hands which keep reaching out for me. 

“C’mere and shush. You’re going to wake everyone up,” he griped, finally getting a grasp on my wrists and pulling me into his chest. “Hi,” he whispered once I had quieted down. His head was tilted down on my pillow. The look in his eyes was something I hadn’t seen before as I whispered back. Without warning, his lips were pressed against mine once again. His lips were slightly chapped, but the moist pillowy pressure was nice. While the kiss was nice, it caused a tightening in my chest and I could feel a panic budding in my stomach. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he told me as he pulled away with a soft smile. “Let’s get some sleep,” he stopped me as I started to speak. “We’ll talk tomorrow.” 

Tomorrow, how can I sleep when all I want to know is what the hell he’s thinking. Or what the hell I’m thinking by allowing it?

The next morning I woke up to tangled legs, wrapped up in arms, and breath on my neck. Deb and Piper were in the kitchen when I stumbled in search of coffee. It had been well after James had passed out that I too was able to get back to sleep. 

When I mumbled something about waking Oliver, Deb spoke up. "He was still dead to the world thirty minutes ago. I'm guessing James got in ok. His bedroom door was still open and he isn't in his bed," she commented with a hint of teasing, while a smirk pulled her lips. My face felt like it was on fire as I scurried up the stairs to wake my son. 

All day things kept occurring which only led to confuse me more. When James finally rolled out of bed, once he had a cup of coffee in his hand and Oliver in his other arm, he walked over to where I was cutting up toast and eggs for Piper. He kissed her forehead as she babbled out "da da da da" and then turned as if it was nothing to drop a kiss on my temple with a "good morning".

Deborah was incorrigible, truly a menace as she watched her son's antics. 

It was a touch here, a graze there, squeezing me with a tight hug before going to practice, and then the kicker, pulling away to say "we'll talk when I get home." Sealed with a kiss. 

My stomach was doing flip flops. Yeah, I couldn't hide it. I wanted the talk to go in a specific direction.

A few hours later he strolled in freshly showered and was handed a crying Piper. She had hit her head on a chair just minutes before he walked in and had been screaming bloody murder. Something about the crook of her daddy’s neck was all the little girl needed to calm her down into quiet tears. I was beginning to think he had some sort of pheromone which could calm Piper instantly. And who was I kidding, he had a similar effect on me. 

The rest of the evening was spent on the sofa watching Toy Story to appease the masses. Chasing a one year old and getting things ready for the party weighed heavy on me, and I was down for the count. A gentle hand brushing hair off my face woke me, and a blurry figure told me it was bedtime. That night I was wrangled into James’ bed, but I was barely awake when my head hit the pillow. 

Who knew a one-year old’s birthday party could take this much out of a person? It probably would have been a lot less stress to just hire someone to do all of this.

I was beginning to think James was an octopus in a former life. The next morning I woke on my back with his lanky limbs draped over my legs and torso. Extracting myself made me feel like I was caught in a Chinese finger trap. The more I struggled, the harder he clung to me. The week was jam packed with one year photos, three games, food prep, and the party itself. Not to mention the talk James and I needed to have. I couldn’t lie around in bed waiting for James to wake up. I struggled against his grasp a couple more times before he pressed his mouth to my ear.

“Go back to sleep. Whatever it is will still be there if you sleep another hour,” he whispered sleepily. 

“We have photos scheduled and you have practice. Breakfast needs served and she needs to get a nap in before we meet the photographer,” I tried explaining. 

“No, stay in bed and cuddle with me,” he whined, rubbing his nose into my hair.

“Ok, if I stay in bed, then you have to finally talk about things you’ve been avoiding.” I didn’t pull any punches, and I knew he wouldn’t want to talk about it first thing in the morning. James’ preference was to have serious talks at night. There was no way we were talking about the kiss at seven-thirty in the morning. 

Just as I had expected he dramatically sighed while flopping backwards and letting me out of his grasp. After sitting up, I turned and patted his cheek. “You are so predictable.” As soon as the words left my lips, he pulled me down into a lazy kiss. 

“I think I keep you on your toes,” he chuckled releasing me again. 

He was right. As predictable as he could be in certain situations, he was very spontaneous. Making plans past his hockey schedule was very new to James. 

Photos went well. Piper loved being the center of attention. Olly however didn't enjoy sitting around while Pipes was cooed over. More than once he asked why he wasn't allowed to go to practice with James. 

The Preds were a young team. Not many players had kids. The organization was very different from the Pens as well. The Pens had many players with kids around Oliver’s age, which made it easy for James to have him tag along to watch practice. We weren't sure how the new org and coaches would feel about it. 

Olly was also excited to wear his newest jersey to the three games this week. He had made me pack both his Preds and Pens jerseys of James’ along with Geno’s. As much as Olly loved James, Geno was his quote/unquote bestie. 

Days seem to pass by quickly. James got the ok to take Olly to watch Game Day Skate. He was going to sit with Matt Cullen and his three boys on the bench. Jame found out Matt’s middle son Wyatt was the same age as Oliver and made plans for all four boys to skate after practice later in the week. 

The Preds Family Room was more intimidating than the Pens rooms had ever been. Blonde and young everywhere I looked. And to each their own, but I stuck out like a sore thumb. The ladies in Pittsburgh enjoyed looking fashionable, but they took it to another level here in Nashville. Makeup was camera ready and the heels were over four inches. 

After the game Tuesday night, we waited in the family room, I received speculative glances from two girls who looked like they were right out of college. Deb and I had taken seats on a loveseat, Olly was passed out in my arms, and Piper had been out since the second period. I had never been more thankful for the nannies the teams provided in the family room. 

“Hi, you’re Violet, right?” a brunette about my height asked, causing me to jump a little.

“Yes,” I answered cautiously.

“I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Bailey Weber, Shea’s wife,” she told me, holding out her hand. “Is this your son? Oliver, right?” She motioned to my son, who was now drooling on my shoulder.

“Nice to meet you. Yes, this is Olly,” I said, trying to adjust his mouth closed. 

“Shea told me to be on the lookout for you with Deb.” She shot a smile to my right where Deb sat texting Pete or one of her other kids. “He said James had been excited for your visit.”

“Yeah, I think we all have been. Judging by the drool on my shoulder, some more than others,” I joked. 

“You and Deb have been getting party stuff ready, right?” she asked, her eyes glancing over my shoulder twice.

“Uh, yeah. Decorations have been purchased, and we had her one-year photos taken today,” I explained. “Are you and Shea coming to the party Friday? James said he invited everyone on the team.”

“It depends on our son. We have a two month old, Beckette, and Thursday morning, we are going for his first round of shots,” Bailey replied. 

“Oh, yeah, if he’s not feeling well, stay home. No reason to risk it,” I told her. “Believe me, this one was a mess after his first rounds. I’m not sure with Piper, she was teething after I took her in April. It really could have been either.”

“Don’t remind me. I’m taking her next week for her one year shots,” Deb spoke up from beside me. “And her father won’t be around for two weeks. Lord help me.”

“I’m just hoping for no high fever.”

“I’m sure Beckette’ll be fine,” I reasoned. “But he’s probably gonna be a nightmare,” I joked, causing Bailey and Deb to snort.

⬥⬥⬥⬥

Craig Smith was talking about this restaurant he and his girlfriend had been frequenting. He was saying something about the salmon when I saw Bailey Weber talking with Violet. I clapped Craig on the shoulder twice before making my way to them. They shared a laugh as I stopped behind the sofa.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, settling my hands on her shoulders.

“Mom talk,” she shrugged, looking up at me.

“Oh and because I’m a dad, I won’t understand?” I asked, squeezing her shoulders in jest. 

“No, you don’t understand because she stops crying whenever she is in your arms. And it’s so not fair,” she rebutted, leaning her head over on my hand. “So, you don’t understand how it feels to feel hopeless.”

“Maybe not with her,” I muttered under my breath. “Y’all ready to go home?” I followed up quickly.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Can you carry him out? My arm is asleep,” she questioned.

“Sure,” I nodded with a smile. I moved fluidly and lifted Oliver off her lap. He automatically clung to my neck as I readjusted him.

The players took up the closest spots in the garage, so the walk to the G-Wagon and back down to my Ferrari was hard on my tired arms and legs. My legs always felt like jello for hours after a game. And walking up the incline carrying Olly while Violet pushed the stroller with a sleeping Piper, I couldn’t help but want to walk like this for miles. Even if I collapsed while doing so.

They had beaten me home and Violet was standing quietly in the kitchen sliding a bottle of water back and forth on the counter when I walked towards my room. All of the lights were off except of the one over the stovetop, she was waiting up for me. As I hung up my suit and slid on cotton gym shorts and a tshirt, I got the feeling Violet wanted to talk. I couldn’t hide from her. I needed a snack and more water. 

After dropping my head back and taking a big breath, I made my way into the kitchen. “How the hell did we let it go to a shoot out against Arizona?” I grumbled as I went straight for the fridge to pull out a fruit salad and water.

“Here let me,” she offered, taking the bowl from my hands. As she spooned the fruit out, I let out another long sigh causing her to glance over her shoulder. “You ok?”

“Yeah, no, I don’t know,” I replied, shaking my head before turning my gaze to the countertop. “Just start of the season woos. I mean, we’re winning, so I shouldn’t be too upset.”

“No, you shouldn’t,” she agreed, sliding the bowl towards me with a fork. “You want some almond butter with that? Or we picked up some raw cashews and almonds.”

“A scoop of almond butter would be good,” I nodded, digging into the snack. I paused only to let her drop the dollop of nut butter on the fruit. Then pulled her into my side before resuming. “It’s harder this year. New guys, new city, new staff. I’ve got mom, but she won’t be here as soon as we find a nanny.”

“Yeah, she says you won’t agree on anyone. Do you want me to look at resumes?” she offered, leaning her head over on my shoulder and stealing a piece of apple from my bowl. 

“Hey, that was mine,” I chuckled and stabbed at her fingers. “I just don’t trust anyone with her. Can I just clone you?” A clone of her would keep me from losing her if things went south.

“No, I don’t need a Dolly the Sheep version of me in the world,” she told me with a hip check. “Plus, if you had a clone of me, then you wouldn’t want me to come around.”

“Not true at all,” I said with a mouth full of food.

“So, I think now would be a good time to not avoid the talk we need to have,” she announced as I finished the last pieces of fruit.

Shit. I could lose her right now. If she kept talking, then she would tell me how I had to stop kissing her. The easiest way to keep her quiet was to kiss her. 

“Or not,” I replied, taking my bowl to the sink.

“What?” she clipped at me. 

“I don’t want to talk tonight,” I said with a shrug.

“Well, I do,” she told me, squaring her shoulders to me.

“Too bad,” I smirked. I took a moment to glance over her angered face before striding over and backing her against the refrigerator. “I don’t want to talk,” I added before leaning in to kiss her.

She tried to push me away in protest, her hands flat on my chest and pushing gently. I stood fast, taking her hands in mine and lacing our fingers together. Stooping down some, I pressed her into the refrigerator. A gasp parted her lips and I took that as an opportunity to deepen the kiss. Her tongue met mine and I swear my knees almost gave out, pushing more of my weight into her. 

My hands had a mind of their own when they skimmed down her arms and sides before slipping around her waist to pull her against me. Her hands found my shoulders and the hairs that laid long against my neck. When I began the kiss, I had only wanted to postpone the talk we needed to have. Now, I was thinking the kitchen wasn’t the best place for what I had in mind.

“MOMMY!” was shouted from upstairs. “MOMMY! MOMMY!”

One word was like a Gatorade bath after a win.

“James,” Violet said softly, pulling away and looking down at my chest. 

We were both breathing heavily and I didn’t want to let her go. My lips found her forehead as little feet scurried from one room to the next upstairs. 

“Oliver,” she called as she pulled herself away from me. 

The footsteps scurried towards the top of the stairs and then down half way. “Mommy,” Oliver whimpered as I followed Violet to the stairs.

“What’s wrong?” she asked in a whisper, holding her arms out for him to come the rest of the way down.

He had tears streaming down his face. “No,” he squeaked out. “Monster in my dream.”

“It’s ok. It was just a bad dream. There aren’t any monsters,” Violet told him, rubbing his back soothingly. 

“Are you sure?” he asked, sucking back sobs.

“Didn’t we tell you?” I asked, stooping down. “We had a monster exterminator come in and make sure there weren’t any. Especially in your room.”

“You did?” he asked, wiping at his nose.

“Yep. We don’t have any monsters in this house. I thought we told you,” I told him while poking him gently in the ribs. 

“Can I sleep with you and Mommy?” Olly asked, looking up through damp lashes. His lower lip had been puffed out since he had come down the stairs. 

Violet’s eyes went wide, jaw wagging as she tried to come up with an answer.

“Yeah, buddy. You can sleep with us tonight,” I told him, taking the initiative. Glancing from one to the other, I shrugged Violet’s way before turning back to Olly. “You want to go get your puppy?” 

He nodded and grabbed my hand. “Go with me?”

“You take him, I’ll finish getting ready for bed,” Violet offered, standing from her stooped position. 

I didn’t know why she continued to keep her things upstairs. Or why she hadn’t been ready for bed when she came down from changing. She had to know she wasn’t sleeping in that room tonight. Or any night, if I had my way. 

Was that what she wanted to talk about? Was she going to tell me she didn’t feel the same for me? But, would she have kissed me back like she just did? Ok, so maybe we really did need to talk. I needed answers, and now we can’t talk because of the little boy who would be sleeping between us. 

Except for the occasional kick in the stomach or groin, sleeping with a kid in the bed for the first time had gone better than anticipated. That was until I was woken up by a knee in the stomach and kick in the nuts as Oliver crawled over me.

With him out of the bed, I glanced at my phone before rolling over and pulling Violet into me. I had an hour before I had to get up and head to the practice rink. We played the Blackhawks tomorrow and Lavs was bound to have an hour of film for us to watch before on-ice practice. 

“Mmm,” Violet groaned, burrowing her face into my chest. “What time is it?”

“Just after seven,” I told her quietly. 

“Uhhh, I don’t want to get out of bed today,” she grumbled, curling even further into me. “But there is so much to do yet for the party. Your mom and I are gonna prep the food so all we had to do was heat it up on Friday.”

“Well, I should be home by about two-p.m. You want me to get a reservation for dinner or do you want to order in?” I asked, knowing both she and Mom would be too tired to cook more food. “If we order for here, then I can grab some wine and we can hang out by the firepit,” I added before she could answer. 

“Let’s order in, I don’t want to have to rush to get ready for dinner,” she said with a sigh. “Are you taking Olly today?”

“Do you want me to? One less kid to worry about,” I offered.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“After the kids are in bed, we should have that talk,” I told her in an almost whisper, afraid of my own words.

“Yeah?” she asked, lifting her head to look me in the eye.

“Yeah,” I confirmed, giving her a small smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it has taken this long to get a chapter out. I have been working on a few things, as well as starting two businesses, so life has been hectic. Please forgive me. I only see two more chapters until this is finished. And I'm working on them now.


	18. Four Walls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Those four walls now are the only place that I can breathe out_  
>  And those four walls now are home  
> And those four walls now are the only place that I can feel  
> And those four walls now are home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long. But here's 10,000 words to make up for it.

Olly was bouncing in his booster seat as we drove away from the rink. My teammate Shea Weber had brought his mastiff Dug today and Olly had laid in the locker room floor with him while the team stretched for practice. And now Olly was convinced he could talk his mom into getting a dog.

“What kind of dog is your favorite? Uncle Jack has a Border Collie named Murphy. He plays with the horses. Grandma and Grampa have a Maltese. Gidget yaps a lot. I don’t want a yappy dog,” Oliver spoke quickly, causing me to laugh. “You didn’t answer me. What’s your favorite dog?”

“Uh, I guess I like Huskies, and Labs. Big dogs, for sure,” I told him, glancing back in the rearview. 

“What’s a Husky?” he questioned. “Is it a fat dog?”

“No, bud. It’s like the dogs in that Disney movie. The ones that pull the sled,” I told him as I pulled off West End Avenue towards the house. 

“Ooo. We should get two so they can pull me around the yard!”

Oh no, what have I done?

Walking into the house, we were hit with a mixture of aromas. Some spicy, little tomato-y, and a hint of chicken. Olly ran ahead calling for his mom.

“Mommy, Mommy! Can we get a dog? I think we should get a dog. So does James. He said we should get a Husky or Lab. No yappy dogs, only big dogs,” he spouted off, causing Violet to stop wiping down the island. “Can we, Mom? Can we get a dog?”

“What?” she asked, shocked at the seemingly out of nowhere request.

“A dog, we should get a dog,” Olly exclaimed, rolling his eyes dramatically.

“Where did this come from?” Violet asked me, eyebrow quirked in question.

“Shea brings his dog to the practice rink sometimes. Today was one of those times,” I explained with a shrug.

“Dug is huge! Like three hundred pounds. He’s really nice though,” Olly continued, while climbing onto one of the barstools. “May I have some chocolate milk, please?”

“Three hundred pounds?” Violet asked, grabbing a cup and milk from the fridge. The same fridge I had pressed her against last night. 

“More like a hundred and eighty, but he’s still huge,” I told her, moving around to reach a cold Gatorade. “And I didn’t tell him it was a good idea.”

“I hate to say it, but it may be an okay idea,” she whispered, leaning passed me to put the chocolate milk away. “Help him cope with the changes this year. Plus I could train it while he’s in school,” she added, glancing over her shoulder to where Oliver now sat on the couch.

“Maybe,” I told her. I couldn’t help to think how a dog would keep her away from Nashville. 

Violet went on explaining what they had gotten finished today. Three large pans of lasagna ready for baking, a large pot of chili was still stewing on the stove, pita chips were baked, and plans to finish off a few things tomorrow. She was going all out for the party and I was pretty sure we would have leftovers all weekend. 

The afternoon was lazy, and yet busy. Slowly we started putting up the decorations for the party on Friday. Mom was short, and Vi was tall, but even she couldn’t reach the ceiling to tack up fishing line to hang wooden hoops with silk flower arrangements hot glued on them. Over the buffet in the dining room, Violet hung a grey wooden frame with a larger silk flower arrangement and twine zigzagging from each side. On the twine were tiny pink clothes pins holding six photos of Piper. 

One was taken a few days after she had been dropped into our lives. I knew Piper had grown so much since April, but seeing the progression side-by-side was shocking. My little girl was getting so big.

Bags and boxes were pulled from the basement, where they were being stored, full of flower arrangements, a rustic wooden box, a wooden sign with “Piper” written in cursive, cake stands, and delicate plates. For the dining table, there was a burlap runner, pillar candles and hurricane lamps. It seemed like the floral arrangements were never ending. 

This was all Violet’s doing. She was going all out for Piper’s birthday, and I hadn’t even seen the cake she had ordered yet. 

Olly’s birthday was at a time we had just met, and I’m not sure any of the Pittsburgh guys were invited. I do know that Sid and Geno both had given him gifts. With the Pens in town to play on Saturday, we had invited them over for the party. I wasn’t sure how many would show up. The team had changed so much in the off season. Pauly and Geno, for sure. Maybe Sutts. I had a feeling Sid wouldn’t show up. 

By the time most decorations were placed, Oliver was complaining of starvation and Piper was fussing for dinner as well. We called in an order at a restaurant in The Gulch, and I dragged Olly along for the pick up. 

Every night I was able to have dinner with Piper, I was always amazed with how much food she could put away. Mom had picked a pasta dish for her and she had finished nearly half of it and was coming for my sweet potato. 

By the end of dinner she had sauce and potato all over her face and hands. Mom quickly whisked her off to the bathtub while Violet and I cleaned up the dinner mess. Oliver had settled on the couch watching Hotel Transylvania on Netflix. 

“When Olly goes to bed, how ‘bout we open another bottle of wine and start a fire,” I told her, moving behind her as she rinsed a plate at the sink. 

“Trying to get me drunk?” she asked, glancing over her shoulder with a brow raised.

“No. Why would I try to get you drunk? I just want to have a nice, relaxing evening. We haven’t really had time to catch up. And we need to talk,” I explained, rubbing her shoulders lightly. “I just thought more wine would be nice.”

“Yeah.” She nodded slowly while turning around to face me. “Go ahead and open another bottle, I’m gonna-”

“Hello, we’re here!” I heard my dad’s voice call from the front door.

“Dad?”

“Grandpa Pete!” Olly exclaimed, launching off the couch towards the front room.

“I didn’t think they got in until tomorrow,” Violet questioned as we moved into the other room. 

“I thought so too,” I told her with a shrug. 

“Ugh, where am I camping out? I need a shower,” Becka asked, running her fingers through her long blonde hair. 

“Um, we haven’t thought logistics,” Violet commented, looking between everyone. “Uh, we assumed Nicky would stay in Olly’s room. You can go up to the front bedroom to shower for now.”

The front bedroom. The room Violet had started out the trip in. There is no reason for her to be in that room. “Hey, um, can I talk to you real quick?” I asked, leaning down to say it quietly near her ear. 

Violet turned, looking up at me her brow furrowed with inquisition. She nodded when I motioned back towards my room. With a hand on her lower back I motioned to the others we would be right back as mom came down the stairs. Turns out everyone except the three new arrivals thought their flight was tomorrow before the game. 

“Um, you should sit. I need to stand, but you should sit,” I told her, gently shutting the door and motioning towards the loveseat. The nerves I felt every time I thought about losing her welled back up. My throat felt full as I blew out a deep breath. “Ok,” I said out loud, glancing up at the ceiling. When I turn to face her full on, I had to take another deep breath. 

Her face dropped to one of worry. 

“Maybe I should sit down too,” I told her, moving to sit next to her on the loveseat. “Ok, so, I didn’t want to do it like this. But I don’t want you to act like you are going to sleep anywhere but here, in my bed,” I added motioning to the bed she had remade this morning. 

“Do you see this house? Do you see how much more of a home it is than my house in Pittsburgh ever could have been?” I asked, not stopping to let her interject. “I didn't realize I was doing it, but I wanted it to be perfect. Mom would show me options and I would pick things you would like. Things that you would pick, because I wanted you to like it. Then I realized I wanted you to see yourself in it. For it not to be just my home. For it to be our home." 

I dared to look towards her again only to see her eyebrows were reaching for her hairline. 

"This place is just four walls, but having you, Olly, and Piper in it makes it a home. I can't even find a nanny, because the only person I want helping me raise Piper is you. She's my blood, but she's ours. I want you here with me. You and Olly, because I'm losing it without you. I'm so fucking in love with you, I didn't realize it until it slapped me in the face. I love you."

The gasp from beside me scared me to no end. But I had to finish the speech I had planned. I had to know how she felt.

"I want you here, always. I want to come home from a road trip and you be here. I want Olly here. I want to help you raise him, to be the closest thing to a dad he gets. I want you to be Piper’s mom. And I want them to have each other. I don't just want it, I need it." I paused, swallowing away the nauseous feeling that sat high in my throat. "Please tell me I didn't just fuck everything up. That you feel what I feel. I mean that kiss, I didn't imagine it right?"

“Wow,” she said in a daze. Her eyes were darting back and forth in a shifty fashion. “You…,” she trailed off, taking a few deep breaths. 

“Look I know-,” I started.

“Don’t. Just-you, you love me,” she stopped me, stumbling over her words. 

When I got the nerve, I lifted my chin to take another look in her direction. She was staring back at me with her brows knitted together. “Yeah,” I whispered, tentatively reaching over to cover her hand that lie flat on her thigh. 

“Like, in love with me, love me?” she questioned, pulling her lower lip between her teeth. 

I could only nod.

“Really?” she asked, her features softening. Was that hope in her eyes?

“I am really in love with you,” I reaffirmed, giving her hand a squeeze. “Question is, how do you feel about me?”

“Um, well,” she started, turning her hand over to grasp mine. She turned her gaze down to where our hands sat in her lap, and that’s when I felt a drop hit the back of my hand. Then another. “Funny thing is, I’m really in love with you too,” she told me, her voice shaking slightly. 

“What?” I yelped, eyes wide as I watched her chin raise. 

She had a few tears streaming down her nose, but her face was filled with relief. It was her turn to nod.

“Oh my,” I started, but lept to my feet pulling her up with me. “You love me,” I stated more than asked, my hands coming up to cup her chin, thumbs lying on her cheeks. “And I love you.”

Violet nodded as much as she could in my grasp, a laugh passing over her lips as they formed a smile.

⬥⬥⬥⬥

The weight of uncertainty was lifted. When he pulled me into his room, I wasn’t sure what he wanted to talk about. His spiel was a shock. I hadn’t let myself hope to hear three words from James. But he had said them, and I had said them back. 

Now we were standing in his bedroom where he was kissing me within an inch of my life. He had been holding back.

“Wait,” he gasped, breaking our kiss as my hands slipped under his shirt to get to the hot skin of his back. “My family is out there,” he panted, out of breath. “We need to get them situated. And we need to bring your things down here. This is our room.”

“We’re really doing this,” I said, still astonished and fighting the smile that wanted to spread across my face. 

“We are really doing this,” he repeated, pulling me in for another quick kiss then gently wiping away my tears. “I meant it all. I want you here. I want us to be a family.”

“I want that too. We need to talk things over more, but I want that,” I confessed, pressing our foreheads together. “Not everything can happen at once, but we can make this work.”

“Yeah,” he said taking a deep breath again. “Ok, Becka to the front room and move your stuff down here,” he followed-up, pulling away.

“How are we going to explain this to everyone?” I asked, grabbing his hand to stop him as he turned towards the door. “I don’t know that Olly will understand yet. So, we need to talk with him separately. Maybe tomorrow. But what about your mom, and the rest of them?”

“If you haven’t noticed, they all kinda wanted this to happen,” he told me with a chuckle and eye roll. “This isn’t going to be a problem. The incessant chirping, however, will be.”

“Let’s have Nicky take Olly upstairs and then we can tell the others, not make a big deal out of it. If we don’t, then hopefully they won’t,” I rationalized.

“This is my family. Mom has wanted this since April,” he stressed, crowding into me. “She’s going to scream like a banshee with joy. She will wake Piper up,” he joked, pulling me into another kiss. “Now, let’s go out there and get this over with.”

Deep breaths. There had been a lot of those. And I’m sure there would be more in the coming days. One step at a time. I wiped my face and looked at James for approval. He nodded before opening the bedroom door and motioning me towards the kitchen.

Around the island Olly was showing Peter photos of him skating with the three Cullen boys, James and a couple other players. The video I had seen of the Cullen boys and Olly had me concerned the boys were a little too rough, even for young hockey players. One more thing to talk with James about.

“Hey Ol, want to help Nicky carry his bag up to your room?” I broke in, knowing this would be a surefire way to get Olly out of the room quickly. Once their feet hit the landing I turned to Becka, “You can take the front room. I just need to get my things out of there. Unless, you two want that room and in that case, Becks would be with Piper.”

“I’m fine on the sofa, if there isn’t a bed for me. I’m not going to kick you out of your room,” Becka countered, popping a baby carrot in her mouth. They must be hungry.

“No one is sleeping on the couch,” James announced, causing everyone to turn his way. “What? No one is sleeping on the pull-out. It’s uncomfortable. No one needs to sleep on the couch,” he followed up, slipping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me tight against his side. 

To emphasize his display, I turned into his side, looping my arms around his waist. I tilted my face up to catch a glance of his expression. I was met with him looking down at me with a smile, before he pulled me in closer, both arms enveloping me.

Deb was the first to quirk an eyebrow, followed with a smirk. “Oh?” she questioned, her eyes lighting up.

“Yeah, get it out of your system quick, because the ‘I told you so’s are going to get old real quick,” he followed up, waving his a hand around shamelessly. 

The squeal that came from Deb as she sprinted around the island to where James and I stood, hit a new octave. 

“Wait, what’s happening?” Becka asked, not paying attention. 

Deb grabbed both James and I by the cheek and just stared at us for a moment before enveloping us in a hug and rocking us back and forth. 

“I think this means Violet will be sharing a bed with your brother,” Peter told Becka with a silent chuckle shaking his body. 

“And how is that anything new?” she asked, popping another carrot in her mouth.

“Good point, but I think it also means they got their shit together and are together finally,” Peter cackled.

“Oh, cool. So, they are for sure spending Christmas with us this year?” she asked through her carrot. “Got any food we can eat?”

A child wanting food took Deb’s attention away from the news of James and I. While Deb worked on ordering food for the three arrivals, I snuck out of the kitchen and up to gather my things. Most of my clothes had been hung in the closet, but I still had to throw a few things in my bag.

“That wasn’t too bad, was it?” James asked, popping into the bathroom as I tossed my toiletries into a towel I had used earlier. 

“Oh, they’re your family and you think it’s over,” I snickered, turning to him and leaning on the counter. “You know they are just letting us think it’s over. They will pick right up once all are fed.”

“Ya know, I think I can put up with it,” he smirked, moving to crowd me against the counter more. “Because, I get to have you, so it’s worth it,” he purred, leaning in and pressing his lips to mine. 

“How is getting to kiss me any different from just kissing me like you had been?” I murmured into his lips. 

“Because now you are my girlfriend, and I know you want me to kiss you,” he bragged, deepening the kiss.

“Girlfriend?” I questioned with a laugh, tilting my mouth away. 

His mouth trailed across my jaw and slid it’s way down my neck. “Yeah, deal with it,” he taunted, mouthing the skin before biting.

“Ow,” I groaned.

“Oh, so you guys are really doing this,” Becka blurted from the doorway.

Both James and I jumped at her words. “Um, yeah,” James said confused. “What did you think we meant?”

“I don’t know. Just didn’t expect to walk in on you getting it on in my bathroom.”

“Our bathroom, you just get to use it,” James replied, tone full of sass. 

Our bathroom. Our house. Our bedroom. He kept staking claim. I knew my feelings were serious for James and that I would be in this for the long haul. Him being so vocal about it being “us” and things being “ours” gave me confidence that he was too. And washed away doubts I had had since these feelings started popping up.

In a blink, James squeezed my hip and told me to grab what I could while he went to the closet. The smirk Deb threw my way as I walked my things towards James’ room, our room, was salacious for a mother to give her son’s - wow, this happened - girlfriend. 

James is my boyfriend. His bedroom is my bedroom, our bedroom. 

From the bathroom, I could see James arranging my clothes in the mostly empty closet. The closet was set up with three c-shaped sections on each side, in a his and hers fashion. It looked like James had just started putting things in wherever he wanted in the first two sections closest to the bathroom. He was in the process of moving an arm full of suits before going back for a stack of sweaters. 

Dumping my toiletries on the empty vanity, I began sorting through them and placing them as I would at home. When I turned to put my shampoo and body wash in the shower, I was startled by James standing in the closet doorway with a smik.

“I’m definitely going to get used to this,” he said with a small chuckle. “Is the left side of the closest ok with you? Most of my stuff was already on the right side.”

“I’m fine with whichever,” I shrugged.

“I will gladly switch, just as long as I can call one side yours,” he confessed, a blush creeping over his cheeks.

“Well, aren’t you just a little romantic,” I teased, finally walking to the shower to place my things on the ledge. 

“I mean it, knowing your things have their place here is all I need. You can turn the house upside down reorganizing to make it yours, and I would gladly relearn where things go,” he spout off, walking up behind me after I returned to the vanity. “This is our house. Not mine, ours.”

“It’s just so, not weird, but it is kinda weird to think that,” I tell him, leaning back against him as we stare at each other in the mirror. “An hour ago, this was something I wanted, but wasn’t sure I was allowed to have. And then, boom, it’s happening. I don’t think my brain has caught up with everything yet. I haven’t even begun to think about what happens tomorrow, and the next day, and so on.”

“Well, tomorrow, we wake up. We have breakfast as a family. I’ll take Olly and Nicky to the rink. You and Becka can go shopping or get your nails done - whatever you girls want to do,” he explained, placing kisses on my neck between sentences. “And I get to kiss you some more before I go beat the Blackhawks,” he teased, kissing just below my ear.

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” I told him, spinning around in his arms. “This changes everything.”

“But does it really?” he rebutted. “We are going to go to bed just the same. We are going to get up and go about our days just the same. Only thing that changes, we call each other by different titles.”

“You’re my boyfriend,” I teased him in a sing-song voice.

“Who has morning skate and a game tomorrow. So let’s get someone else to make sure Olly gets to bed. And you and I can make out until we fall asleep,” he offered, his words like velvet before leaning down to press a kiss to my lips. 

When we broke apart, he took my hand and led me through the bedroom and towards the kitchen where we could hear his family talking with Olly interjecting his thoughts. The night wound down in the living room with a bottle of wine while not watching the Pens play the Flyers. Though the game was playing softly in the background. 

Nicky ended up carrying Oliver up to bed after he fell asleep. And Becka mentioned studying as she got up to head upstairs, but she had been texting all evening, so I’m sure she was going to call her boyfriend. That left James and I with his parents.

“For the last six months, I couldn’t figure out why you two believed this couldn’t be something,” Peter started as I shoved the last of the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. “You both compliment each other in ways I never would have imagined. I’m thrilled you got your shit together kid, because this one right here,” he continued, throwing his arm around my shoulders and giving me a shake. “This one is way too good for you. And I think you know it. So don’t screw it up.”

“She’s a million times better than me, and I don’t deserve her. But I’m glad she wants me anyway,” James threw me a smile from the other side of the island. 

Getting ready for bed was different. James came up behind me and leaned against me as we brushed our teeth. He sniffed my skincare products before using his tried and true Kiehl’s face wash. Then he stood in the doorway and watched as I slathered serums and moisturizer over my face like I was an infomercial. “What’s that for?” and “What’s that supposed to do?” leading the conversation. As I took my contacts out I heard the heavy sound of a man going to the toilet, glancing over my shoulder I saw James standing with his back to me and the door wide open. 

“Really? Are we already at the place in our relationship where we pee in front of each other? Really?” I asked before he flushed. 

With a chuckle and a shrug, he rinsed his hands and walked into the bedroom. What had I gotten myself into?

The sun was peeking through the curtains as lips trailed over my neck. There was a hand lying flat on my bare stomach, fingers fanning out slowly. A pinky caught on the waist of the yoga pants I was sleeping in, dipping just below them as teeth bit at my ear.

“Never would have taken you for a biter,” I teased, burrowing back into James’ chest. The loose tee I had on had slid up during the night and our bare skin met. I felt a shiver course over my body. A man’s touch after so long without could do a few things to a woman.

“I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve,” he purred, maneuvering us so that I was on my back. “Good morning,” he said softly, leaning down to kiss me.

“Good morning,” I replied as we pulled apart. “I don’t mind a wake up call like this.”

It was odd waking up next to a shirtless James. He was clad in only his boxer briefs, which was a first. Over the summer he had always worn gym shorts and a t-shirt to bed. Even my sleep fuzzy brain could recognize the gorgeous man laid out beside me. Muscular arms, lean chest sprinkled with chest hair, and a flat, strong stomach. 

“Won’t be too long and we can wake up like this all the time,” he smiled before leaning in to kiss my breath away.

“Mmm, few months or so,” I told him, pushing his shoulder back so I could catch my breath.

“I can’t wait that long,” James whined, leaning into nuzzle my neck. 

“No, James,” I grumbled as he starting kissing my neck. “We will visit more often, but I have to find Olly a school before we can move. Plus, I can’t just make this decision on my own, there are other people involved.”

“Yeah, there are a lot of people involved. But I think they’ll understand,” he said, pulling back a little further. “You have to do some things for yourself. We can get Olly a tutor until we find a school.”

“Hmm, me doing something for myself, also includes me doing something for you,” I quipped, one brow quirked up.

“I just want us to be a family. The four of us, under the same roof. Am I wrong to want that?” he asked as the smell of coffee wafted around the corner from the kitchen.

“I’m not saying it’s wrong. I’m saying we have to plan this. I can’t just move Olly and I from Pittsburgh in a week’s time,” I explained, sitting up in the bed. “We still need to talk to Olly.”

“Where are you going?” he asked, watching me walk to the bathroom.

“I’m going to wash up and get some coffee,” I told him, slipping into the toilet first.

James had thrown on gym clothes and was brushing his teeth while scrolling through his phone when I opened the door. Then he waited while I finished up. He stopped me before I could open the bedroom door and pressed me into the wall. 

“I love you. I know I’m being selfish when I say this, but I need you here with me,” he whispered, our foreheads pressed together. “Piper needs you and Olly needs me. We are a team, we work best together.”

“I love you. And we can get this worked out, but it’s not going to happen overnight,” I told him as I reached to scratch his stubble. “You have a long string of away games coming up. Maybe I should take Piper back with me, give your mom a break. I can talk to some of the moms tonight about schools. And then when you are back in town, I’ll come back with Piper for the weekend or whatever. I think Thanksgiving break is around that time. So that would be two trips down in the next few weeks.”

“But you leave Sunday, and I don’t leave until Tuesday,” he whined, dropping his cheek into my hand. 

“It’s just a thought. Let’s talk to Olly and then to your mom and go from there,” I told him, patting his cheek lightly. “It’s less than two days more without Piper than you were looking at before.”

He grumbled quietly before leaning in to part my lips with his minty fresh ones. Once he had kissed himself to a happier mood, he pulled the door open and kept me close as we walked around the corner into the kitchen and living room. The scene before me was shocking.

Sitting around the living room were his parents, my parents, and the Mellons. Piper was perched on Evelyn’s lap with a snack cup full of Cheerios. 

“Mom, Dad, what are you doing here?” I asked, thrown off by their presence. 

“Ugh, I invited them,” James spoke up as I glanced around the room again.

“James called early last week and said he would really appreciate if we could come. He figured we wouldn’t want to miss our granddaughter’s first birthday,” my mom said with a knowing smile. 

“Gra-you called them?” I fumbled over my words, turning to face James more fully.

“I told you. We’re a family. She’s just as much your daughter, so she’s their granddaughter,” he explained, stealing a glance to where Piper was being cuddled by Evelyn. “And I figured to show how I would never try to take Olly from them, having Evelyn and Richard here as a part of the family as well couldn’t hurt. Olly gets three sets of grandparents, we are already a crazy blended family, so Evelyn and Richard deserve to be here just as much.”

“And who knows when Jack will give us a grandchild, you are our only hope,” Richard joked as Piper played with his watch.

“When James called, he was so scared we would be upset that he wanted you to move,” Evelyn spoke up. “We would never try to keep you from being happy, that’s all we want for you. And if you are happiest with James, then we will just have to fly to Nashville more often,” she said with a wink.

At that point Oliver and Nick came stomping down the stairs. “Mommy, I’m hungry,” he said blearily rubbing his eyes. “Can we have pancakes?” he asked looking up, pausing to take in the rest of the room. “Grandma!” he yelled as he barreled over to my mom.

“This is our family,” James whispered into my hair by my ear. “You’re the mom, I’m the dad, they are the grandparents, and those, those are our kids.”

His words hit me in the gut. He had thought of every obstacle and found a way to circumvent the block. This was the most mature James had acted since we met. He was right. This is our family. It was six months in the making, but it had come together quickly. 

“We need to talk to Olly,” I whispered back, watching as my mom promised pancakes to Oliver. 

She conferred with Deb about where things were in the kitchen, before they both stood to start breakfast. Oliver was hopping up onto one of the barstools to watch when I turned to him.

“Hey Ol, can I talk to you a minute?” I asked, only receiving a nod and ‘uh-huh’ as he watched Mom and Deb pull things out. “I meant privately. Can you come with me for a minute?” 

He hopped down and let me start to guide him towards the bedroom. My arm slid from James’ waist to grab his hand, but he didn’t follow when I tugged his hand. “We are doing this together,” I told him matter-of-factly. “We’re a team, remember,” I teased him as slight fear passed over his features. He had been nervous when we had our talk, but he was afraid of a five year old. 

Once we were seated on the loveseat with Oliver between us, Oliver spoke up, “Am I in trouble?”

“What? No, why would you think that?” I asked, looking from Oliver to James on his other side. 

“I don’t know. You only make me sit down and talk when I’ve been bad,” Oliver explain, worrying his lips together.

“You didn’t do anything wrong at all. James and I just wanted to talk to you about some things that are changing,” I reassured, rubbing his back lightly. “We wanted to know your feelings about it, too.”

“What’s changing? Did you get traded again?” Oliver asked, whipping around to face James full of concern.

“No, bud, I didn’t get traded again. This has to do with your mom and I, and you and Piper,” James answered.

“So, James and I have decided we care about each other as more than friends. And we want to know if you would be ok with James, Piper, you, and me being a family?” I asked, pulling my lips between my teeth.

“More than friends?” Oliver asked confused.

“You know how Anna is Geno’s girlfriend. Well, would you be ok with James being my boyfriend?” I asked, watching his face move in understanding.

“Geno wants Anna to move to Pittsburgh. Does that mean you want us to move to Nashville?” Oliver asked, turning to James again.

“Yeah, would you be ok with that? Moving to Nashville and being Piper’s big brother?” James questioned. He was better at this than me.

Oliver nodded adamantly and whipped around to me, “Can we mom? Can we move to Nashville?”

“You little traitor,” I grumbled under my breath as James beamed over his shoulder. 

“Does this mean you are going to kiss like Geno and Anna did? Geno loves Anna. Do you love Mommy?” Oliver asked in quick succession. “Are you going to get married and have more babies?”

“Woah, slow down,” I told him as James lost a little color in his cheeks. 

“When are we moving? Can we just stay?”

“Oh my gosh, I can’t deal with you all hyper before I’ve had my coffee. Go help Grandma and Nana with the pancakes,” I told him, pointing him to the door. He darted out of the room as I slumped back into the couch.

“WE’RE MOVING TO NASHVILLE,” he exclaimed as he ran into the kitchen. 

“That went well,” James chuckled, falling over on top of me. “Looks like you’re moving to Nashville,” he teased, moving his lips over mine.

“I need coffee to deal with you gloating, too,” I grumbled against his lips before shoving him off me. I pushed my body off the loveseat only to be pulled down on top of James.

“I love you,” he whispered before beginning his assault my lips. His arms wound around me, pulling me tight against his torso. One hand slipped lower and lower, coming to rest on my ass before giving a squeeze. A deep groan vibrated from his chest and his hips pressed upwards gently, the beginnings of an erection pressing into my thigh.

“James,” I whispered, turning to look towards the open door. This didn’t stop him as his lips slid along my jaw and dipped on top my neck. “James, the door is open and our parents are right out there.”

“So?” he questioned against my neck, his hand slipping lower. The tips of his fingers teased with slipping further between my legs.

“No,” I told him firmly, pushing away from him. “Not happening with our families cooking breakfast. Not happening when you should be getting ready to go to practice. Not happening like this. I love you, and it will happen. But just, not like this,” I continued, extricating myself from his grasp. “Cool your jets, and do something with that,” I motioned towards his lap.

“I was trying to do something with it,” he grumbled, reaching to adjust himself. 

“Oh, so romantic James,” I told him, sarcasm dripping from each word before turning and exiting our bedroom.

Plans for the day were made. Mom and Evelyn were taking Piper for the day while the three grandpa’s went golfing. Deb, Becka and I were going to run around to the mall for a little shopping. And then Becka wanted to get her nails done, so we hoped we could get into the salon James had gotten from one of his teammate’s girlfriends. Nick and Olly were going with James, as planned, to the rink.

Because everyone went in different directions, James was leaving the house for the arena as Deb, Becka and I arrived laden with shopping bags. After a couple comments of ‘did you leave anything for everyone else?’ and ‘did you really need three pairs of boots’, I reminded James it was my money, not his. 

Having two extra sets of grandparents to help keep Oliver and Piper occupied made getting ready for the game easier than ever before. Deb had the diaper bag restocked in no time without little fingers taking everything back ou. Dad and Peter had Oliver dressed and in the basement playing with the new knee hockey set James had picked up on their way home. The regulation goal sitting outside the garage and stick leaning in the garage were also new. 

The game was exciting. James scored late in the first period. Then again towards the end of the second. t wasn’t shocking that James came out for the third period hungry for his third goal. Hats flew from the stands as everyone cheered on James’ first hat trick as a Pred minutes into the third. Before I could stop him, Oliver tossed the hat James had given him earlier this week. It didn’t go too far, bouncing off the head of someone in the seats closer to the glass. 

We all gathered in the family room waiting for James to go through interviews, cool off, and shower. Oliver was bouncing around and climbing all over Nicky. The family room nanny had Piper asleep before the second period was over and she lie in her stroller now, Evelyn gently sliding it back and forward with her foot. 

When James walked in carrying his three game sticks and the his goal pucks, everyone took turns congratulating him before he finally made it to me. A proud smile wanted to overtake my face as my arms slid around his neck and squeezed him tight. Pulling away, I whispered my praise before he stole a kiss. 

An ‘ooo’ from our right stopped him from going for a second. We both glanced over to see two of his teammates staring back with shit eating grins. 

“We were sure he was lying this morning,” Roman Josi chirped at James. “Why would someone he professes to be the smartest person he knows actually want him? He’s so dumb.”

“But then Oliver announced he was moving to Nashville,” Seth Jones added with a laugh. “Congrats.”

“Thanks,” I laughed through a smile. “I’m Violet, by the way,” I introduced, pulling away from James to shake their hands. I questioned whether they were coming tomorrow, making sure to promise good food and alcohol. 

They both agreed before bidding their goodbyes. 

“Who drove?” James asked, handing off a stick to Olly as he tried to pry it from his hand.

“We brought three cars,” I explained. My parents and the Mellon’s were going straight to their hotel from the arena. And the remainder of us were split between Peter’s rental and the god awful G-Wagon. One thing that the move made me look forward to, having a car in Nashville I enjoyed driving. 

“Ride back with me,” James asked, as everyone gathered their things. I nodded before telling my parents goodnight.

The ride back to the house was only twenty minutes, but it was twenty minutes James and I needed to sit next to each other quietly talking about our day. The other cars beat us back to the house by 5 minutes and thankfully already had Oliver getting ready for bed. When I had gone up to tell him goodnight, James followed and balanced all three pucks on one of the shelves above Oliver’s bed. 

“We’ll mount a stick in here too. And get a case for the pucks,” James told him with a wink.

 

Everyone knew the day we had ahead of us tomorrow, so after grabbing snacks and water from the kitchen, they too headed off to bed. Leaving James and I standing in the kitchen while he sucked down a protein drink, polished off almond butter toast, and a glass of milk. It never ceased to amazing me what players had to eat to keep their levels up. 

“I really want to put the moves on you, but my legs are so tired,” he grumbled from his side of the bed as I sat on the edge to take my nightly supplements. 

“Again, how can you be so unromantic?” I asked over my shoulder. “Also, Oliver and Nicky are just above us,” I reminded, pointing to the ceiling and the bedroom just beyond it. 

“Is this your way of telling me you are loud?” James teased, rolling over to pull me backwards onto the bed. “That’s kinda hot.”

“You are terrible,” I told him with a laugh.

“I can’t help it. Do you know how long it’s been?” he said, burrowing his face into my neck. “I haven’t had sex since June.”

“And that’s my fault?” I asked incredulously. 

“Well, kinda. After the incident at the bar, and having you in my bed most nights, I couldn’t imagine taking anyone else home,” he confessed, running his fingers through hair.. “I think I knew then I was crazy about you, but couldn’t admit it.”

“Less than four months for you, and I haven’t since February, so I have you beat,” I admitted, rolling so I could look him in the eye. “Normally, I wouldn’t treat sex so seriously, but this is us, it’s serious. And I don’t want this to be anything, but the best it can be. Make sense?”

“You had sex in February? With who? You never mentioned seeing anyone this year,” he rambled off nosy questions.

“James, I think you know that sex doesn’t have to happen exclusively between people in relationships. It was a guy I went out with a couple times. We agreed there was nothing there other than physical attraction, so we ended it,” I confessed, patting his cheek. “You aren’t the only one who can have casual sex, you know.”

“You acted put off when Pauly and I got numbers from those waitresses when we first met,” he said, face scrunched up in thought.

“Yeah, because women were just throwing themselves at you because of who you were. Not because I was judging you for having sex. Sex is fun,” I announced, throwing my head to emphasize my point. 

“I was so jealous of Geno for getting your number after that day,” it was James’ time to confess. “He had you and Oliver laughing and all I could do was stick my foot in my mouth. So, I gave up. You were, are too good for me.”

“You were jealous?” I asked, wiggling around to lie across his chest, facing him. 

“Yeah, I couldn’t stop staring at you on the ice that day,” he laughed, a blush dusting his cheeks. “You had on a pair of leggings and your ass looked great in them. How you have never caught me staring at your ass for six months, I’m really not sure.”

“So, you’re an ass man?” I teased with a smile.

“Especially yours,” he confided, his hand slipping down to grab a handful again. “But, that blue bikini you wore this summer, that thing is what my dreams are made of.”

“The blue one, really?” I asked, pushing hair back off his forehead. “Well, I thought I liked seeing you in suits. But you do look great like this. Can we institute a ‘no shirt around the house’ rule?” I teased.

“What kind of rule can I make? Tight leggings twenty-four-seven?” he prodded back, leaning towards me to steal a kiss. “You should wear your glasses more, you look sexy in them.”

“Ditto, Mr. Neal. Ditto,” I said nudging his black frames. 

“How sexy?” he quipped, silencing me before I could answer. His plush lips moved on mine, coaxing them apart for his tongue to ghost its way towards my own. One hand found my neck, the thumb caressing over my jaw. The other arm used strength to shuffle my body more in line with his, legs tangling, thighs separating thighs.

“I thought your legs were tired,” I whispered as he nosed along my jaw, hot hands roaming over my body.

“They are, but I have a maintenance day tomorrow,” he purred into my neck. “I think they will be fine,” he added before using his brute strength to roll us over. Once he was on top of me his assault on my neck was more eager as his hands found mine. “If you don’t tell me to stop now, I may not be able to,” he panted, pulling back to hover above me. 

I tugged a hand free from under his and pushed the hair back off his forehead. “We should take our glasses off. We wouldn’t want them to get broken,” I told him with a smirk. “And make sure the door is locked,” I added, pushing at his shoulder to break his stare.

✦✦✦✦

My legs couldn’t carry me off the bed fast enough. One foot caught in the duvet, before the other tripped on the rug. Behind me, the woman of my dreams was wiggling out of her yoga pants and laying her glasses on her nightstand. I felt like it was my first time all over again. The nerves of making this perfect and the urge to fuck her senseless battled.

When I turned around and saw her long, tan legs lying against the white sheets, I had to let my eyes travel up to where her loose v-neck tee ended at her thighs. The v-neck was deep and I realized for the first time, she had forgone her typical sports bra. The only thing clothing her was the shirt and the tiny, dark panties I had caught a glimpse of as she kicked the leggings to the floor. 

I crawled up from the edge of the bed to where she was lying back in the pillows. “Hi,” I breathed out with a smile. 

“Hi,” she replied, reaching to take my glasses off and lay them with hers. 

“You sure about this?” I asked, smoothing her hair back behind her ears.

“Absolutely,” she told me with a smile.

She leaned up to kiss me fully, fingers digging deep in my hair. I was pulled on top of her, covering her body with my own. Her thighs came up to rest on either side of my waist, skin meeting skin, pulling me even closer to her. 

I’m not sure if it was pent up tension or the fact it had been a drought for both of us, but things progressed quickly. One minute we were kissing and the next my mouth had closed around her nipple causing her hips to buck up against mine. I worked my way down her body, moving her top to get to where I needed, but never taking the time to strip it off her. 

Removing her navy, lace panties almost gave me a heart attack. Eagerly I worked my way up one thigh, licking and biting until I was eye level with a small patch of curls. Hesitantly, my tongue took a broad swipe, eliciting a gasp from above me. That tiny sound spurred me on and there was no looking back. 

One of her hands found mine as I gripped her hips, the other was over her mouth where she was biting the skin on the back of it. Her hips fought against my grip as she tried to grind against my mouth.

I had always enjoyed going down on women, and I’d been told I was pretty good at it, but I had never gotten as much out of it as I did with my face buried between Violet’s thighs. I found myself rutting against the bed trying to get some type of friction on my dick. 

It could have been five minutes, it could have been thirty and my name was spilling off her lips as she exploded around two of my fingers. My lips and tongue continued working as she shook and twitched coming down.

The hand that had been covering her mouth was now draped over her forehead. Eyes shut, but there was a smile parting her lips as I moved back over her. I took her mouth in a heated kiss, letting her taste herself on my tongue. The sounds she was making, like after taking a bite of the best dessert, reached deep within me. 

“That is some trick to have up your sleeve,” she giggled, running a hand through my hair. “Mmm, condom now,” she said, gazing up at me.

“Shit,” I grumbled, glancing over to my night stand praying there was a stray foil or box in there. I scrambled across the bed, digging in the two draws before darting to the bathroom. While I hadn’t been planning on hooking up while on the road, I knew I should always keep a fresh box handy, just in case, and there in my shave kit was a brand new box. 

Walking back into the bedroom, I ripped the box open with my teeth and fumbled to pull one strip loose. When I looked up, Violet was pulling her shirt over her head, her bare body laid out before me. I didn’t mean to, but I stopped just to take her in. She was perfect. 

“You going to stand there staring or come to bed?” she asked, her voice raspy with need.

At the side of the bed, I moved to finally take my boxers off, but she rocked up to her knees and stopped my hands. Her hands slid over my stomach, chest and shoulders, pulling me down for a searing kiss. When she broke away, her hands found the cotton band and started gently nudging them down. Nails catching on sensitive skin gave me a full body shiver. 

When I stood before her naked, just a strip of condoms in my hand, the nerves came back. Until she wrapped her hand around me and gave a few dry tugs. Then I was pushing her back on the bed and ripping into the foil packs.

She watched as I slid the condom on, letting out a small squeal as I manhandled her into position. 

“Shh,” I chastised, pointing upwards. “Nicky and Olly, remember,” I teased with a laugh, only to received an eye roll in return.

“Come here,” she groaned, pulling me down to cover her again. Our bodies flush from thigh to where our lips were pressed together. “I love you,” she whispered, breaking the kiss to gaze up into my eyes.

“I love you,” I told her, moving myself around to where I could slide between her velvety folds. Watching her jaw go slack and her breath catch as I pressed forward could have done me in. The groan was passed my lips before I could catch it, forehead dropping to her cheek. 

“James,” she panted, running her fingers through my hair. The other hand rested flat on my back, nails clenching into my skin as I slid even deeper. 

My hips rocked into hers in slow short circles, rolling deeper. Gentle ebb and flow, drawing us closer to each other. The burn in my abs and thighs the only reason I pulled back, drawing one of her thighs up to rest against my stomach as the angle changed. 

I could listen to the little pants and moans pass her lips for the rest of my life and never find them any less sexy than they were in that moment. From the arching of her back to watching her hands grapple for the sheets before they return to slide down her stomach towards where my hand was wrapped around her thigh. I was certainly in heaven.

When her fingers found the little bud of nerves my tongue had found and worked her towards orgasm with, my pace quickened. The bed groaning under our movements. The moans drifted off, being replaced by quivering pants as her eyes clenched shut. 

The tight grip of her walls caused me to stutter my rhythm, she was close and I needed to catch up. Yet, it took me by surprise when she toppled over climaxing again, pulling me over with her. 

Her chest rose and fell quickly under my head after I fell forward. She reached up to scratch lightly at my scalp then trailed up and down my spine. Up and down, lulling me almost to sleep.

“We should do that all the time,” Violet purred, a sigh following after. 

“I’m gonna need a few hours to recover,” I joked, pushing up to gaze down at her. Hair splayed on the pillow, cheeks flushed pink, and a satisfied grin. I gave her a lazy kiss before willing my legs to carry me to the bathroom.

Delicate fingers tracing over my face and chest woke me the next morning. We were lying facing one another, tangled limbs, and sharing a pillow. The small smile and flutter of lashes as she whispered ‘good morning’ stirred memories of the night before. I whispered back as I leaned down to kiss her red lips. 

The kiss led to more kisses. Which led to touching. Which turned into slow, sleepy sex as we lie facing one another. Her thigh thrown over my hip. 

Noises from the kitchen pulled us out of our own little world. Violet slid from the bed despite my pleas and into the bathroom. She turned on the shower and sauntered around naked. I found myself following and climbing into the small shower with her. 

With her long hair still lying damp on her shoulders, Violet pulled the bed linens up while I trimmed my beard and was in the kitchen before I finished. 

“Birthday girl, birthday girl,” she sang while dancing round the kitchen with Piper. Piper’s face was lit up in a smile as she waived her arms around. 

“How is she one already?” I asked, stopping them to kiss Piper’s head.

“How are you twenty-seven already?” Mom asked sarcastically from the stove where she was watching over blueberry pancakes. 

“Pancakes again?” I asked, stealing a fresh blueberry from a bowl.

“It’s a special day, we may just have them all weekend,” Mom explained. “Do you have to go into the rink today?”

“Nope, maintenance day,” I replied. Taking one of my two mandatory days per month on my daughter’s birthday seemed like the right thing to do. 

There was still a lot to do to be ready for the party. And Violet had a list of them just for my dad and I. Ice for cooler and drinks, coolers stocked with drinks, balloons picked up from the party store, and two toys put together. 

A couple hours after the Boyles and Mellons showed up with the cakes, cupcakes, and assorted cookies, we were pretty much set for the party. Mom and Becka had walked some balloons down to the gate while Nick and the granddads had Oliver in the basement playing knee hockey. Violet and I had just arranged the large foil balloons to read “ONE” in front of the fireplace. And to stop her from puttering to find something else to do, I pulled her into my arms.

“Stop,” I told her gently. “The table looks fine, everything is in order, and the food is almost heated up,” I added, running my hands up and down her back. She had been moving since after breakfast and I know there had been a few caffeinated beverages keeping her energy up. 

Violet didn’t know I had overheard her and her mom talking in the kitchen. They were getting food in the oven and on the stove when she complained of being tired. Althea had made a comment, “James keep you up late.” My face heated up at the words, and I knew Violet had to be embarrassed.

“Mom,” she chastised. “But, yeah, and again this morning,” she whispered back. I could hear the smile in her words. Soon after I heard the Nespresso machine cranking out another coffee.

Now everything was ready. In the middle of the dining room, it was my job to calm her down and sing her praises. “You did so good. It looks amazing. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I told her, laying kissing on her forehead.

“Yeah?” she questioned, tilting her face up to look me in the eye. “It’s not too much?”

“Of course it’s too much,” I joked, bumping our noses together. “But that’s why it’s perfect.”

“Really?” she asked for reassurance again.

“Really,” I replied, leaning down to silence her doubts. Lazily our lips moved together and I could feel the tension drain from her shoulders and back. We stood in the middle of the formal living room taking our time, when a throat cleared behind us. 

Standing in the foyer were my former teammates. Suttsy and Pauly had amused expressions, however Geno, Geno was unreadable. 

“Um, hey guys,” Violet squeaked as she glanced over her shoulder. 

“What this?” Geno asked, waving his hand around as he took steps towards us.

“I’m so glad Sid didn’t come,” Pauly whispered to Bortz who stayed quiet with a nod.

“You and Lazy?” Geno asked, not getting an answer to his first question. He was honestly scaring me a little. Of all the guys, Geno was the closest to Violet and Olly. His opinion mattered. “You know he dumb,” Geno stated more than asked, a grin taking its time to pull across his face.

“The dumbest,” Violet told him, glancing between the two of us with a bright smile.

“Hey,” I squawked in offense as Violet pulled away to hug Geno. Who then punched my shoulder hard and shook me with a hug.

When Violet asked why Sid hadn’t come, there were shifty eyes and noncommittal excuses. I had never been more glad to hear little feet stomping up the stairs. Oliver glanced from the doorway and sprinted in.

“Geno!” he yelled as he leapt into Geno’s arms. “I’m moving to Nashville!” he exclaimed, causing everyone in the room shock.

Geno looked between Violet and I for confirmation and when he got it, the look of approval he shot my way was all I needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only the epilogue left to tie everything together.


	19. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Let the bough break, let it come down crashing  
>  Let the sun fade out to a dark sky  
> I can't say I'd even notice it was absent  
> 'Cause I could live by the light in your eyes  
> I'll unfold before you  
> Would have strung together  
> The very first words of a lifelong love letter_
> 
> _Tell the world that we finally got it all right  
>  I choose you  
> I will become yours and you will become mine  
> I choose you  
> I choose  
> You, yeah  
> _

We had a lot of explaining to do as everyone found out. Our parents understood, they had all seen something before we had. Geno was the happiest for us, but was so shocked that we jumped straight to serious, so quickly. 

It boiled down to not being able to see the forest for all the trees. Both of us had preconceived ideas of what our individual lives were and when you added Piper we both focused so much on her, Oliver, our own circumstances to see what we had built. Looking back, there is a reason James called me as news of the trade broke. There was a reason after being assaulted, I still needed him. We were just too caught up believing what we had told everyone else to see the truth. 

Once we were able to admit what we wanted, there was no reason to be shy about it. He had been vocal about never sustaining a relationship or remaining faithful in the past. And I was adamant that if he cheated, I was gone. I wasn’t the girl he could cheat on and hope that an expensive purse or jewelry would get him back in my good graces. I didn’t need his money. I also pointed out, even before we officially started our relationship, he had said he didn’t hook up with anyone from the end of June until we fell into bed together. Taking a chance on James was a lot for me, but I also knew, anything between us was different than he had experienced before. 

James had gotten his wish; four weeks after Piper turned one, Oliver and I had shipped our necessities to Nashville. When we boarded the plane back to Pittsburgh, Oliver had cried not wanting to leave. The fact we had Piper along with us helped to squash the tears some. James had two weeks on the road, followed by one game at home before he left again. It was the perfect time for Piper to stay with me and for Oliver and I to decide what should stay in Pittsburgh or be shipped to Nashville.

We had decided the Pittsburgh house would not be sold. It had too many memories, and we liked knowing we had a place of our own to go back to there. We flirted around with going there for Christmas, but with all the travel James was doing in November and December, we wanted our first Christmas together to be as stress free as possible.

We spent American Thanksgiving - the only way James would refer to it - as a family, inviting over a few of the younger guys and the few significant others to have a traditional Thanksgiving. It was a great way to get to know the group of people who are now our hockey family. Those guys were who James would rely on. The few girlfriends who had joined us were nice and helped out in the kitchen. 

It filled my heart to have so many gathered around our table. And then taking over newly, fully furnished basement. The guys flooded the theater room and large game room to watch football and finish off a few beers, wine and whiskey. A couple guys ended up staying the night in the basement guest room after a few too many.

Christmas was much the same, a few of the guys came over for the 24th and 25th, along with our families. But, New Year’s, New Year’s was when James surprised me yet again.

It turned out Nashville hosts a big First Night block party complete with fireworks, and the bars on Broadway sell out their rooftops to the highest bidders. The Predators wives and girlfriends got together to rent out the second floor private room and rooftop of Acme Seed & Feed. Most of us had ventured up to the rooftop for the countdown and fireworks. As waiters passed around flutes of champagne, James pulled me towards the banister to look out over the crowds. 

“Our first New Year’s countdown,” James said, looking down at me with a smile. “First of many.”

“So many that I don’t feel guilty for spending this one without the kids,” I told him, sitting my glass of champagne on the ledge around the banister. It was a dressed down event, most wearing sweaters and jeans covered by heavy coats as we stood watching the clock count down. 

“This year has brought a lot of changes. First Piper, the trade, moving to Nashville, us, you and Oliver moving to Nashville,” he listed off, dropping his gaze down to our feet. “You came into my life and I didn’t even know how special you were at the time. I am so thankful for you and the kids. I didn’t know I needed someone like you in my life. And I’m so thankful that you love me. Without you, I don’t know if I would have ever made it through the last nine months. I’m kinda sure I wouldn’t have. And every day I love you more and more. I was hoping we could make one more change though,” he added, moving so swiftly.

When he dropped to one knee as the crowd below started counting down from ten, my heart stopped. In his hands, he held a ring box. “Violet, will you do me the honor? Marry me?”

The chanting numbers kept counting down, my ears roared with pressure. He was right, we had no idea how our meeting would change everything. And I couldn’t think of anyone else I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The crowd yelled “two!”, drowning out my “yes” as I nodded quickly, knees shaking as James slipped the ring on my finger before springing to his feet.

Cheering erupted around us as the clock struck midnight. Fireworks soon followed, exploding in the night sky. But nothing mattered as James and I were locked in a tender kiss. The cheers died down as “Auld Lang Syne” played over the speakers.

“Happy New Year, babe,” he spoke, breaking the kiss with a smile.

“Happy New Year, babe,” I repeated him, bumping our noses together while my fingers played with the hair at his nape. 

We were married in a small lakeside ceremony surrounded by our families and friends the following Summer. We had both agreed, we didn’t need the hoopla of a large wedding. It wasn’t us. 

That same day my last name changed, James adopted Oliver. Mellon-Neal was a lot to get stitched on Oliver’s jerseys the next season, but the entire family supported his decision to carry both names. 

He had taken immediately to being Piper’s older brother, but it had been a few months of us living in Nashville before Oliver opened up about James being his dad. He had never had a father figure, and we were on a learning curve. James had a long talk with Oliver on New Year’s Day after we told him about the engagement. They went down to the basement alone and I still wasn’t sure all that was said. I did know James told Oliver it was up to him on whether or not he would adopt him. And that he wouldn’t force Oliver to call him ‘Dad’.

At times we got lucky with Piper, I was the only mother she would remember, the signature on her adoption papers didn’t change much.

James had planned the honeymoon, two weeks in Bora Bora. We spent two weeks on the beach, mixing in a couple massage and romantic dinners. And we left with a nice souvenir.

Camilla Grier was born the following April, about the same time Piper had been dropped into our lives two years prior. James followed up her birth by playing Game One against the Anaheim Ducks and walking away with one goal and First Star. The rest of the playoffs had been not so kind that year. Sure, he walked away with points, but he had taken some bad penalties along the way. Losing Game Seven against the Sharks in the second round was hard on James and the entire team. 

Fast forward to a year later and losing the Stanley Cup to your former team who was celebrating back-to-back Cup victories. Only for that loss to be followed by the Predators telling James they would not be protecting him in the Expansion Draft. The day before the NHL Awards and subsequent draft, the Vegas Golden Knights owner and GM called James to let him know he would be selected. Vegas would be James’ fourth team in his career and we were both sad to be leaving Nashville.

The silverlining, Marc-Andre and Vero would be in Vegas with us. 

This was our life, our crazy hockey life. With a one year old and two rowdy big kids, I left packing most of our belongings to the professionals. James and I packed the rest to be shipped to the house we had just built between Toronto and the house he grew up in Whitby. 

Over the summer we had met up with Vero, Marc-Andre and their former teammate and Vegas resident Deryk Engelland and his wife Melissa. The guys hit the links while Melissa showed Vero and I around town. Marc-Andre and Vero were lucky enough to find a house and put in an offer. James and I, however, weren’t quick to chose because of his contract instability. The realtor had shown us a couple rentals as well, but nothing had made us want to make the commitment.

It had come down to the wire and we had to choose a house that would function for a family of five and a large number of guests. It had worked well enough for Canadian Thanksgiving with his entire family in town, and would be put to the test again during American Thanksgiving when my parents and the Mellons came to town. 

In October, right before Halloween, on the night of a seven-o shutout against Colorado, James took a high stick straight to the mouth. His mouth and lips were a wreck. In all he lost four teeth, two of which were fake anyway, right before a ten-day long road trip out East. The team dentist wasn’t sure when they would be able to fix his mouth. The team was on the road the majority of November and there was some bone damage that had to be corrected before implants could be considered an option. 

This led to a softer food diet and many jokes from Oliver and Piper about their one-and-a-half year old sister having more teeth. After the ten-day road trip we had almost five days with him at home, and the kids wanted to make the most of it. James felt the same and on the lone Saturday off, he was up early making pancakes and eggs with the big kids while Cammy played with her yogurt and Cheerios. 

I took my time, showering before going down to breakfast. James had a stack of pancakes on the island and was stirring a pot on the stove as I slipped my arms around his waist. “What’s cookin’ good lookin’?” I teased, scratching at his belly through the tee he wore. 

“Oatmeal,” he replied, lifting the pot towards me. 

The smell repulsed me as I pulled away briskly. “Ew, that smells disgusting,” I told him, fighting back a retching gag. 

“It’s just brown sugar oatmeal,” he told me, giving me a weird look. “You haven’t gagged over oatmeal since…,” his lisp trailed off, my eyes going wide and snapping up to meet his.

The end of the sentence hung in the air. I hadn’t gagged over oatmeal since I was pregnant with Cammy.

“Oh my-I can’t be, can I?” I questioned, looking from him to the pot he was still holding, the spoon poised to stir again.

“I mean, there’s always the possibility, right?” he asked, eyebrows reaching for his hair line. “We aren’t exactly careful. When was your last, you know?” he asked, motioning to my lower stomach.

“Oh my God,” I gasped, palming my forehead as I stared at him.

He laughed and beamed my way, looking like a little kid on Christmas with his missing teeth. “I got you pregnant,” he teased in a sing-song cadence before moving towards me. 

“Yeah, it seems you did,” I smiled back. “Ew, but keep that away from me,” I told him, pushing his chest and trotting towards the powder room gagging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read and commented. I wrote this on a weird whim. It's taken me years to finish and I'm hoping the next story I write doesn't take as long, because it's going to be more than this.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is one I have worked on for almost a year. It started out as an attempt to break my block on two other stories, and evolved. It's not like either of my other stories. It's either already written or I have an outline for the missing pieces.
> 
> This story will move slow as the characters develop. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> It starts out in March of 2014 and will follow the Penguins playoff run, the firing of coaches and trades. I live for feedback. Tell me what you hate and what you love. What you wish there was more of, and less of.
> 
> This is my first time posting to AO3, normally using Mibba, but I like the quality here and want to grow. Even if my F/M is different from the M/M seen most here. You all are so talented and I want to learn from you. 
> 
> -S


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